White Winged Dove
by HordeFighter
Summary: Peeta and Katniss had one night together before parting ways after the rebellion, Peeta going to the capitol to get better and Katniss being banished to 12. What happens when she discovers she is pregnant and the baby is obviously Peetas. To make things much worse Gale comes back to 12 instead of taking the fancy job in 2 having every intentions of being there for the baby and Kat
1. Surviving

Summary: Peeta and Katniss had one night together before parting ways after the rebellion, Peeta going to the capitol to get better and Katniss being banished to 12. What happens when she discovers she is pregnant and the baby is obviously Peetas. To make things much worse Gale comes back to 12 instead of taking the fancy job in 2 having every intentions of being there for the baby and Katniss. Will Peeta and Katniss be able to work for their problems, rebuild their relationship and prepare for their baby, all the while dealing with Gale?

White-Winged Dove

Chapter 1

Surviving

I take in my hideous appearance as I stare into the glass of the full length mirror, that settles behind the door in out bathroom. The prodding of my large stomach is enough to make me feel bad about myself and want nothing more than to have this baby and regain the flatness my stomach once had. The size was only going to get worse as the pregnancy progressed and I was only going to get more and more emotional as time passed, more emotional than any other pregnant woman out there because one I never wanted this in my entire life, children were not part of my life and the fact that I fucked up and allowed myself to become vulnerable and exposed to him goes to show how truly weak I am when it comes to him. I don't know how it happened it just did and now I'm paying the price. It has been six months since we were together, The spur of the moment that was what I was going to call our meeting that night after the trial. Why did I let it happen and why was he gentle and loving that night, holding and kissing me just right, making me feel like the boy with the bread was in there and that he still loved me, despite everything we have been through. I never got to say goodbye to him after that night because when I woke up the next morning his space was cold and empty, tears spilled from my eyes that morning as I got dressed, ate lunch and entered the hovercraft that would take me home. I had been banned to 12 after my trial and there was nothing I could do but go home and live the rest of my life in isolation, it was even worse when I discovered that Peeta would not join us, that he was going to stay in the Capitol and work on his hijacking with Doctor Aurelius. In a way I was glad that he was getting some sort of treatment, maybe when we cross paths with each other again he will be completely cured, no shred of violence in him, maybe answer as to why he made love to me the night before him and I split ways would surface and I would understand.

The baby kicks and I place my hand on my tummy, feeling her stir and move. Fear is the only thing that spreads through my body as I rest my hand against my large baby bump. I wasn't going to be a good mother at all, I couldn't take care of my sister and I failed Rue in the first games when she needed me the most. The worst thing about this whole situation is that Peeta doesn't even know that I'm pregnant, its been six months since the sex and since I have found out and still I've made no attempt in getting ahold of him, partly because I don't know if his condition is the same or he has made progress in the past six months. I didn't want to set him off by making contact and possibly erasing all the hard-work that was accomplished. I'll keep this between Greasy Sae, Haymitch and my lovely piece of shit friend that thought it was a good idea to come back here after everything that he has done. Gale. As much as he has been a big help in making sure I ate to keep the baby strong and growing, he has been all but easy to get along with.

Gale Hawthorne the man who may or may not be responsible for killing my sister. The man who should have taken the job offer District 2 has offered him, but instead he came back to 12, hoping to help with the rebuilding and hoping to rebuild what was broken between the two of us. I'm not stupid or oblivious to the fact that Gale has more than friendship on his mind. The passion and longing that burns in his eyes every time I'm around confirms that he wants me in every which way, but I can't bring myself to forgive him that easily, not after what he did to Prim. My sisters sweet face flashes through my mind and the urge to cry becomes great.

My hand is still perched on my baby bump as I let the tears trickle down my cheeks. I can't go through with having this baby. I'll fail her like I've failed everyone else, not to mention there will be a chance that she will have no father. Gale might be right when he stated that Peeta may never return to 12, never come back for me and the baby. Maybe he is right though; Peeta could stay in the capitol, open up a bakery in the crowded streets, find a new pair of lips to kiss. The tears come down faster as I think of this and the baby kicks at my distress. As much as I hate Gale and everything he stands for, he did care about me enough to come back and try to fix everything that was broken between us, even though I was carrying another mans baby.

The jealous and rage I see in his eyes every time I bring up Peeta or the fact that this baby is his and needs its father, sends shivers down my spine. Gale knows that Peeta and I have had sex and it kills him in every way to know that this baby is not his and will never be his. It kills him to know that my heart belongs to Peeta and not him, its true I fell deeply in love with the boy with the bread. The man who saved me and my family by tossing me the loaf of bread while we were younger, the man who lost his leg for me and was willing to let me kill him in the first games. The man who gave me my first kiss, who first shared a bed with me, chasing my nightmares away, the one I gave my virginity and heart to. Peeta Mellark. The boy with the bread. The boy I missed terribly and the one that I now realize that I need here with me, not Gale, not the man who will add fuel to my fire.

A sharp knock brings me out of my thoughts and I wipe the tears that streamed down my face, taking a step back from the full length mirror I grip the brass doorknob and pull it open, revealing the old woman dressed in an old raggy dress that was possibly from the hob. Greasy Sae shoots me a warm smile and shifts to the side, allowing me to step out of the confinements of the bathroom.

"Just wanted to check on you, girl. " She admits sweetly.

"I'm fine" I lie weakly.

"There is food downstairs if you want it and your friend is here."

I roll my eyes at the fact that Gale was waiting for me downstairs, dealing with his jealous glares towards my baby bump really wasn't apart of my agenda. I brush past Greasy Sae, not wanting to be bothered or be talked to today, her warm smile fades and a look of sympathy cross her old face. I pay no attention to her facial expression as I waddle down the creaky stairs carefully, using the wooden rail to my left as a guide. I hear Grease Sae footsteps as they trail behind me, but I pay no attention as I enter the kitchen and Find Gale sitting at the head of the table, an older issue of a newspaper in front of his face and a coffee clutched in his right hand. As soon as I make my presence known, he sets the paper down on the wooden table top and shoots me a smile.

"Morning Catnip, Sleep well?" He asks kindly.

I shrug, not answer him with words and waddle my way over to the fridge, pulling out whatever I can get. I've had a large craving for bread and mustard these past couple of days and since I've basically been denied the bread that I so desperately wanted I've settled for dipping pickles into mustard and eating it. I fish out the jar from the cool fridge and set it down on the table, then dig through the contents, hopelessly trying to find the pickles. There at the very back of the fridge and relief fills my body as I pull the jar out and set it next to the mustard jar.

"Are you feeling okay today?" Gale asks, desperate for at least the smallest bit of conversation.

I shrug again and pop open the lids on both jar, pulling out a slippery pickle and dipping it into the condiment, it taste wonderful as it slides down my throat and settles down into my stomach for the baby to eat. Gale watches as I devour half the jar of pickles and mustard.

"You want to do something today, Catnip?" He questions.

"Like what?"

"Go for a walk, get you exercise. I really need to talk to you." He mutters. "It's really important."

Grease Sae comes around the corner and eyes me "The boy is right, Exercise is good for the baby. I have to get going, girl, little Maya is probably starting to miss me by now" She comes over to where I am standing, putting away the jars, and placing a delicate kiss on my forehead and cheek. I ignore it and watch her hike through the kitchen as fast as an old woman can. She mutters something I don't catch in Gale's ear, causing him to nod his head multiple times, something tells me Gale is going to be sticking around today like he is every single day. I hear the front door shut, indicating Grease Sae has left and it's just Gale and I in the kitchen. He bites his lip and cups his hands out in front on him, staring down at his index and thumb, his eyes then flicker up into mine.

"The rebuilding is going well, slow but well." He reveals.

"Good" I mutter and slide into a side chair.

"Look, Catnip I know you don't want to deal with me right now and those pregnancy hormones has you all over the place , but you got to realize that I'm here for you and so is the old woman and your drunk ass mentor. You have people, Catnip and you have to accept that"

I have everyone except the person I want the most in this world. Do I love Peeta? That is a question I ask myself over and over, do I love the boy with the bread? Yes, as much as I try to deny it from myself the answer is yes I fell in love with him during the games, during the rebellion, I gave myself to him in every which way and this baby was the result of our love. It hurts that I didn't even get a goodbye, that he took off without waiting for me to wake up in his arms and gaze into his beautiful face. Was it just sex to him? Did he want to see if I'd give it up that easy? I loved Peeta Mellark that much was true, but did he love me in return was a whole different question.

Gale rubs the back of his head "You know he's not your only option, waiting for him; I don't think it will do much good."

I peer hatefully at him "What exactly are you implying?"

"Forget about him, Katniss, He's not coming back to you" Gale says bluntly.

"Easier said then done" I frown, placing my hand on my tummy "This baby needs him."

The words hurt Gale, but he hardly lets it show. He rolls his eyes and lets out a small chuckle which causes me to frown at him and glare daggers at him. He scraps his chair against the wooden floor and stands, pacing back and forth with his hands tucked behind his back. An argument is coming I can feel it and its something I really want to avoid. I don't think the baby can handle any more stress and it seems like that's all Gale brings into my life is stress.

He chuckles without much humor, shaking his head multiple times. He turns and faces me, taking his index finger and pointing to my stomach "That baby is better off without him."

I glare at him hatefully, disbelief filling my body at his bluntness "How fucking dare you, Gale."

"No, no I'm sick and tired of you pining over him, constantly looking over your shoulder to see if he came back to you. He's not coming back when are you going to get that through your thick skull."

I hop up from the chair and snap at him "It's only been six months, Gale, and you don't know him! He was beaten, tortured, they took his mind and destroyed it, but you know what that night we had, that passionate night when we conceived this baby was the best night of my entire life and it proves to me that he still loves me deep down and that he is fighting to get back to me."

My words hurt him but he don't back down "I'm not going to sit here and clash with you over this. I want you to know that I'm here for you and that baby, no matter what. I gave that military job up, I came back to this shit hole. He didn't! I love you and he doesn't! I want you, I need you and I love you, Katniss. The baby doesn't need a goddamn fucking mental case for a father, it can have me, you can have me! Neither one of you need Peeta. He is nothing, look what he did to you Katniss. He got you pregnant and he's not even here to take care of you."

"He doesn't know" I screech. "He doesn't know he got me pregnant."

"Why haven't you called him then. Why haven't you called that crack-case and told him about the baby?" He crosses his arms across his chest, his stance is dominate and there is fire in his eyes at the mere thought of Peeta. I'm silent, my gaze is cast down at the floor, focused on a dark dot that stains the wooden planks. He takes advantage of my silence and continues "Exactly you don't want him to find out, your baby and you are safer without that mentally unstable asshole."

Tears are beginning to swell in my eyes as the insults towards Peeta continues to spew from Gale's mouth "Stop" I beg, but he continues on.

"Stop what/ I'm telling you the truth about your knight and shinning armor. You're a fool Katniss for ever giving a damn about him. What ever happen to the girl who said 'it was an act' HUH ! What changed? I know you Katniss you'd never have sex with someone like that, let alone get pregnant. Did he force you to have sex with him? So help me god if he did I'll kill him, I'll go to the Capitol myself and shove a bullet in his brain, maybe that will fix his mind."

I scream, tears are flooding my face "I love him, that's why I had sex with him. I fell in love with him during our games, during the rebellion. I couldn't stop thinking about him the whole time Snow had him locked up. I fell in love with Peeta Mellark and nothing you can say or do will change that."

Gale opens and closes his mouth, clearly lost for words. He stands there with an angry expression on his face and then without warning stomps across the wooden floor. I hear my front door slam shut and once I'm absolutely sure he has left I slide to the floor, curling up into a fetal position and letting the tears fly down my cheeks. the baby feels my stress and starts rounds of kickball with my bladder. I cry and cry until there is no tears left and until the floor gets uncomfortable. It's hard to pick my large body up from the ground but I managed to do it and waddle my way over to the couch where I gently throw myself down on the cushions where I cry some more.

The situation I find myself in is a drastic one. I know Gale loves me and that he wants to be here for the baby and I, but my heart doesn't belong to him, it never has and it never will. He is wrong Peeta Mellark will come back to me, Aurelius will help him get better and he will be in this baby's life. I have hope for us, for our baby and nobody, not even Gale is going to stand in between us.

To be continued...


	2. Seriously?

Chapter 2

Seriously?

The following days after the fight I had with Gale, I did absolutely nothing, except for eat when the baby was hungry. I sat on the couch with a quill over my body and watched the flames crackle and come to life in the fireplace. Winter was coming and already the air was chilly and cold to the point it would cause Goosebumps to break out over your body. I didn't care about the winter season rolling in and taking its tolls on the district. There was barely a district left anymore and I'm pretty sure our population was under 100 people. It got me curious as to how they were going to manage the construction when winter actually hit, negative degree weather was definitely going to be a problem for the construction workers and it wasn't fun to be in. Did we even have people working on the rebuilding of the District. How much work did they get done in the past 6 months? I was to busy finding out I was pregnant and dealing with the return of my murderous friend to really find out what was going on with the construction. District 12 was probably the last District the New capitol cared about, they had to focus on the ones that mattered, the ones that exported food, clothes, stonework, power systems, Just about every district was a top priority over 12. We were mining which the mines were closed and probably destroyed. We were no good to anyone anymore in my opinion, why would people go back to a graveyard, a place full of painful memories and death. Only a few dedicated citizens have return and are determined to make things work. The devastation and the amount of destruction I have witnessed with my own eyes when they dropped me off was more than I could handle. It made me sick to my stomach that I had barely recognized my own home. The seam was all but gone, followed by the square and half of the justice building. We had no shops left, no hob, or butcher, or liquor vendor, nothing. The only thing The New Capitol has sent to us is a storage building full of donated clothes, food and shelter for those who needed it. Some people that have returned even took shelter in the empty victor homes, but none close to mine.

It makes me wonder who will deliver my baby when I go into labor. Did we even have a doctor in the District? Probably not. We didn't have much of anything these days, not like we ever had anything. This was a mistake, the baby would arrive in less than three months and I had no clothes for her or a crib, or even a doctor to deliver it, I'm not even sure if its healthy. This was why I didn't want to ever bring a baby into this world, the destruction, the sadness, there is nothing here but death and despair. I wanted to keep her from all this, but I can't, it's too late to change my mind or abort the pregnancy. Although getting pregnant may have been an accident, as unwanted and unplanned as the pregnancy has been I'd never, ever even consider getting an abortion. I'd never kill Peeta's baby, she or he was a living, breathing, helpless human being inside me, what kind of monster would that make me if I were to choose to kill this baby?

She is still today, haven't felt her kick once which is probably an indication she is asleep, warm and cozy inside her nice warm womb. I sigh in content and watch the flames burst while resting a hand on my large tummy. My legs are stretched out across the couch and the quill covers my body. It's a boring day which I'm not complaining, its better than fighting with Gale and having him insult Peeta. I will never lose hope that one day he will return to me and be father to his baby, but something Gale says does make a lot of sense. Why have I kept this secret from Peeta? If I really wanted to I'd call Dr. Aurelius's office and ask for him, tell him everything he needs to know and make things easier on myself, it's as simple as that. Fear is what is holding me back because I don't know how he is going to react to the news. The last thing I want to do to him is cause him to flip out, erase the progress that he may or may not have accomplished. I could do it right here and now. I could pull my large body off the couch, waddle into the kitchen where a phone hangs on the wall and dial Dr. Aurelius's number. It's what I should do instead of sitting on the couch and watching fire eat the wood, but I don't do it, fear has me immobilized.

So I stay nested on the cushions with my body covering the entire couch, my hand perched on my stomach, unconsciously stroking my bump. I fall into a deep sleep moments later and the nightmares come hard and fast, and its only then I wish I had Peeta's arms around my body, holding me and chasing the darkness away. I'm not sure how long I had to watch the children burn, hear my sisters screams and see the faces of all the people I have killed. I wake up to the front door opening and then closing. The fireplace has burnt out and all that is left is tiny embers, trying to eat away at the ashes of the wood. I shift on the couch just enough to peer over the back and glance at my intruder, dread fills my body as I watch him take his boots off and blow hot air into his hands, trying to warm them up from the bitter cold. A second pair of feet enters and I catch sight of my mentor, a winter hat covering his shaggy head, his dirty ripped sweats hiding his body from the chilly weather, a flask is in his hand. I lay back down and pretend to be asleep as they enter the living room, closing my eyes tightly, hoping they don't realize that I am faking. I don't want to deal with Gale so my eyes stay glued shut.

"She asleep" Gale observed and places a hand on my forehead. He then runs the tips of his fingers through my hair. The contact makes me want to snap open my eyes and slap his hand away.

"No shit, the girl is exhausted and she has been through hell" Haymitch comments "Plus she is pregnant and probably shouldn't be screamed at or fought with"

Gale lets out a deep sigh "You heard?"

"Boy the whole district heard. You need to stop upsetting Katniss with your little confessions because if you don't you got to answer to me." Haymitch threatened.

Gale chuckles without humor and rolls his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest "What the hell is a drunken ass piece of shit like you going to do to me. I'm not scared of you or your pitiful threats. You're an old man, pathetic old, pitiful, useless man."

Haymitch merely chuckles at Gale's insults "Don't underestimate a Hunger Games Victor, even an older one because they just might let loose on you. Tell sweetheart I was here and that if she ever needs anything I'm right next door." I'm guessing Haymitch gives Gale the stink eye and then lets out a breathy laugh "But I'm pretty sure you wont relay the message, considering you went from a half-way decent boy to a corrupted love-sick asshole" and with that I hear the front door open and the close, leaving me alone with Gale.

"Asshole, mother fucker" I hear Gale mumble under his breath.

I still refuse to open my eyes and allow him to figure out that I'm awake and was listening to his conversation. It's not until his hand comes to a rest on my baby bump do I snap my eyes open and glare at him. I don't want his rough, jagged hands on my baby, it feels like he is tainting her with his fire.

"Hi, Catnip." Gale greets me like nothing has happened in the past 24 hours and I hate that he acts like he has done nothing wrong, and that he can just waltz right in here after our fight yesterday and touch my stomach.

"Get your hands off my daughter" I hiss.

He doesn't listen to me, just sits there with his open-palm flat against my belly. She suddenly stirs and begins kicking my side. I push Gale's hand of my stomach and sit up gently on the couch, letting out a painful sigh as she lodges her foot into my ribs, I nudge her, desperate for her to move her tiny foot away from my ribs, but its stay there and her position causes me all kinds of discomfort.

"You okay?"

She obviously doesn't like his touch and who could blame her.

"So you want to hear some good news?" He asks.

"Did you forget that I don't want you here at the moment." I say in a low threatening voice.

He waves me off "Get over that fight Catnip, now listen I think I may know someone who will be able to help deliver your baby, but you're not going to like who I have in mind or called."

"And who would that be?" I question.

Gale bites his lips and casts his eyes down to the ground, his cheeks redden at whatever memory is overtaking him. "Your mother actually" He glances up at me, teeth still between his bottom lip. Was I hearing this right, my mother, the woman who abandon me after the rebellion, left me for District 4, was coming here to deliver my daughter or son? Gale's answer to my question is very unlikely. My mother wasn't going to come back here for the daughter she left behind. The daughter who was viewed as a psychopath, the one who killed District 13 beloved President Coin, and went crazy. How bad was it going to be when the media found out that the Mockingjay was pregnant. Would they try to remove me from my baby's life? See me as an unfit mother? The scariest thought that crosses my mind is them taking her or him away from me and placing it into a foster home which would most likely be a Capitol family. The thought upset me and I placed a protective hand of my tummy. I was six months pregnant and no media has come to the District, just supply trains stopping and dropping goods off at what was left of our station. I could get away with three more months

"You're a real idiot, and did you explain to my mother that you killed her youngest daughter? "

Gale smacks the coffee table with his fist. "For fuck sake Katniss it was an accident, I didn't know she was there, okay. You can't hold me responsible, that's unfair."

I get up as quickly as I can from the couch, its hard considering the shape I am in but I managed to do it. She kicks hard at the sudden movement, and soon I'm pacing back and forth across the living room carpet, Gale's words angered me. He stands up as well and grabs hold of my arm, keeping me from pacing, his touch is a big mistake because I pull from his grasp and smack him hard in the jaw.

He cradles his wound "Katniss, what the hell" He groans.

"Don't touch me, and what's unfair is my little sister is dead and her murderer is in my living room, what's unfair is that I'm pregnant with a baby that was never supposed to be part of my life and I have to do this alone." I scream and tears are on their way out of my irises.

"Katniss your not alone in this, I keep telling you that over and over. I didn't kill Prim or those Capitol Children, I didn't know anything. I'm not going to sit here and have to call me a liar or a killer because you understand nothing. Are you blaming Beetee? Beetee Latier helped me design that bomb you do realize that right? Or do you just wanna blame me for everything. You want to focus on all the negative things about me. Not that I came back for you when Peeta didn't, I'm willing to raise another mans baby for you that's how much I love you, have you forgotten that we spent so much time together? What changed huh and don't tell me Peeta came into your life because we both know you'd never go for a townies. Please give me a chance I'll be a good boyfriend to you and a good father him."

"The answer is no, Gale, No and that's final. I don't love you, your not being father to my baby, Peeta is."

He rubs his temples in frustration and then snaps "Fuck Peeta! fuck him he fucking ruins everything. Don't tell me you love him because I know you don't. Fucker tried to kill you, Are you going to love someone who wants to snap your neck! No," He paces back and forth with his hands tucked behind his back and a foul look on his face, his anger is increasing by the minute. We are silent for a couple of minutes, pacing back and forth, mumbling something incoherent. He finally stops and faces me, shaking his head miserably.

"Pity fuck" He mumbles angrily.

I stare at him, eyebrow furrowed "What the hell is that supposed to mean"

"You pity fucked him and created a baby." He growls.

"How dare you!" I screech "You don't know the reason why I had sex with him. Get out I'm not going to spend my days fighting with you, we are not going to fight the whole entire time, now leave!"

He doesn't argue, just stomps across the carpet like a little kid and pulls on his boots, lacing them quickly, putting on a heavy jacket. I waddle my way over to the front door and fling it open motioning for him to get out. The air outside is chilly, cold and uncomfortable I shiver. He shoots a nasty glare at me, mumbles something that sounds like 'your making a mistake' and off he goes.

The shrill of the phone ringing jolts me awake a couple of hours later, I groan and lift my heavy body from the couch, struggling to pick up the phone that sits on a white wall in the kitchen. I pick up the receiver up from the base and place it by my left ear.

"Hello?"

"_Katniss_." Comes the smooth familiar voice of my mother. I don't know whether to be happy that she actually cared enough to call me after 6 months of not contact or angry at the fact that's she's only calling because I'm pregnant.

"Mom?"

"_How are you, honey_."

"Um fine" The awkwardness makes me so uncomfortable "Mother, why are you calling me?" It's a stupid question I know exactly why she is calling me and its thanks to Gale and his big mouth, if he told her about the baby who else has he told, endless people possible.

"_There is a lot of things to talk about Katniss, but you have to answer one thing. Are you pregnant_?"

I take a gulp I wont lie to my mother. I may hate her for everything she has done to Prim and I when dad died and when she abandon me to rot in District 12, never returning and taking care of the only daughter she had left, I'm not a liar.

"Yes I am, I'm six months pregnant." I admit.

My mother lets out a long sigh "_Katniss, you're so young, Have you at least been checked by anyone_?"

"Who the hell is here to check me?" I hiss "District 12 is in ruins, We barely have anything let along a doctor. I'm banished here, I haven't left my house in months, Your lucky I'm bathing and eating for this baby. This baby is what's keeping me alive."

"_Katniss, you need help through this pregnancy and I'm on my way to help you, despite what I see or feel there. That is my grandchild and I'm going to make sure he or she comes safely into the world. Gale is not enough for you, I know its his baby too, but_..." I cut her off immediately

"This is not Gale's baby."

She is so quiet on the other end that it's almost sounded like she has hung up the phone. My noble mother, packing her things, on her way her to take care of her grandchild. The fact that she has barely mentioned me stings, it's all about the baby with her. Did my mother think that this new baby was going to replace Prim? Did she think for a second that she was going to come into this baby's life so easily? She's wrong, why would I let her after she abandoned Prim and I, left us to starve and fend for ourselves, checked-out after our father died.

"_Do you know who the father is_?" Her words both anger and upset me, making me feel like some sort of slut that slept around during the rebellion, is that what she thought I did? The Mockingjay is a big slut that beds adoring fans.

"Of course I know who I've had sex with, mom" I snap.

"_Alright, alright I'm sorry, Who is it_?" I can hear the cringe that is in her voice and I know she doesn't like talking about sex and getting pregnant, especially not with her eldest daughter who has already done both.

"It's Peetas" I reply honestly.

_"Peeta? You mean the Mellark boy, Your tribute partner? Peeta Mellark? He's the father_?"

"Yes." My mother lets out a large sigh

"_Oh No this will not do, not the boy who tried to kill my daughter_"

To be continued...


	3. Capitol City

A/N: Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing I appreciate your time and I'll try my hardest not to disappoint. One thing though I am trying to be creative is a drama story so I'm going to twist and turn the characters personalities, knowledge and behavior, things are going to be completely different. I'll definitely be bending and changing things so bare with me. Anyways hopefully you enjoy this chapter will be written in Peeta's POV, The POV will change back and forth. Enjoy.

Chapter 3

Capitol City

(Peeta's POV)

The wooden chair I sit on is hard, uncomfortable and it creeks every time I shift. Annoyance is the only thing that can describe my mood as the sound of a number two pencil scrapping across the white piece of paper that sits on the thick oak wood desk in front of me fills my ears. I cuff my hands and thump my left leg against the ground as Doctor Aurelius remains quiet and focused on his task in front of him. Six long brutal months of having to describe in detail what I went through in the capitol dungeons was enough to make anyone has irritated as I am now. I could still smell the musk and dirt, the walls that were stained with blood streaks from previous prisoners, the screams that echoed the narrow, dark hallways, The screams belonging to Annie and Johanna as they held the both of them down, raped them, beat them, and tormented them. The needles that pierced and pricked my arms as they pumped me full of the green liquid venom that burned through my veins, that had me screaming until my voice went raw and there were no tears left to cry. They destroyed every inch of me, breaking my bones first, pumping me with poison and taking the memories I had of the girl I...Katniss...Everdeen. Every time here names creeps up on me I think of mutts, death, an evil Capitol mutant out to destroy me. I try not to think about Katniss Everdeen and the last time I was in her presence because it gets me confused all over again. I don't know if I hated her or loved her. No, I didn't love her when I fucked her did I? I suddenly feel guilty because the vulgar word 'fuck' crossed my mind.

So many emotions went through my body that night, both negative and positive. How we even got to that point remains a mystery. She was crying her heart and soul out, on her hands and knee begging someone to take her life instead of Prims, cursing me for stopping her from taking her own life. She mourned for her sister for minutes before I finally pitied her enough to pull her into my arms. It was a risky thing to do on my part, but I did it and held her while she sobbed. She is the one that kissed me first. One thing led to another and we had sex, I felt everything from hatred, anger, jealousy, passion, every emotion that you could think of. I had to admit though having sex felt pretty damn good on my part and I now know why my brothers obsessed in doing it all the time.

My life was so fucked up in every way possible that I'm not sure these therapy sessions with Doctor Aurelius would do much good. It's been six months and I still have nothing to hold on to. My memories are scattered, erased, I'm not the same man I once was. The hijacking took everything that made me who I was before and tore it all down, shifting and twisting me into this thing that is nothing but evil and twisted being. Peeta Mellark: The kind-hearted, selfless Baker's son is dead and he is not coming back, ever. Aurelius looks up over the rim on his horn-rimmed frames and sets the pen on the desk beside the paper. He folds his hands and studies me for a second, determination written across his face. This man is determined to help my poorly hijacked soul which is probably beyond help in my opinion, I'm to twisted and scarred.

"How are you feeling today?" Aurelius asks professionally "Any dizziness, vomiting, headaches, Hallucinations, mood swings?"

"No sir, just dreadful nightmares and irritations." I reveal.

"It is wise to control yourself, being over-emotional and temperamental may result in a hijacking episode. I've discovered and learned a lot about your condition in the last couple of months. The venom causes the headaches and irritation, targeting the hypothalamus which is part of your Limbic system. Now there are a couple of things you must be aware of. You Limbic system is a very, very complicated group of brain structures that targets Emotion, Behavior, motivation and memory. Those right there are the main targets of the venom. Your limbic system consists of three parts or structures: the hypothalamus, the amygdala, and the hippocampus each one effected by the venom in different way"

His professional tone is confusing me "So what you're saying is those three brain functions are why I have episodes?"

Dr. Aurelius shakes his head "You have episodes because of the serum the capitol injected you with. The tracker Jacker serum targets those three brain structures: the hypothalamus, the amygdala, and the hippocampus, causing them to become irritated hence the headaches, the vomiting, violent behavior, now you have flash backs because of the long-term and short-term memory functions meaning once the serum is in those three functions they become overwhelmed and start overworking themselves, vulnerability becomes an issue."

"How so?" I ask curiously, his studies now have caught my interest.

"The capitol tied you up, pumped you with the venom therefore irritating your functions that have to do with behavior, emotions, motivations and memory correct?"

I nod.

"Okay now, remember they overwork themselves once the venom hits and irritates the Limbic system. Like I said vulnerability becomes an issue you become exposed to learning new things, feeling new things and reacting appropriately to the situation. The capitol showed you various lies about Katniss Everdeen correct?"

I nod again, feeling shivers race down my spine as he mentions her name.

"They fed you those lies over and over for days, showed you terrible images of her, making her out to be the enemy. Seeing those things over and over finally allows it into your long-term memory therefore edging it into your brain and making you believe it, the Thalamus is responsible for information and the Hippocampus stores in into your memory."

"So I'll always have flashbacks since they are written and stored? I'll always view Katniss as the enemy?"

Aurelius shakes his head "Don't think about that Peeta, there is still so much research to be discovered. There is a way for you to become less violent during the episodes, but for now I'm focusing on the Thalamus, Hippocampus and the amygdala. The Amygdala deals with fear." He taps his finger against the oak table and glances down at his watch on his right wrists, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head as he catches sight of the time. I glance over at the round clock hanging on his blue colored walls, its nearing noon now and my stomach growls. Lunch is sounding more and more interesting that the parts of my brain the venom targets. "I'm going to put you on some sleeping meds, the pill will suppress nightmares and relax your brain."

"Ok when will we meet again?"

Dr. Aurelius thinks for a moment, taking his bottom lip between his teeth and adjusting his glasses "How's Friday sound, gives me more time to research more about the hijacking and the effects it has on the brain."

I scarp the chair against the floor and rise from my sitting position, stretching my arms above my head, hearing the bones in my neck and back crack. Aurelius takes a handful of papers, taps them against the desk to straighten them.

"Can I make a suggestion before you go?"

"Sure"

"Try to contact Katniss Everdeen, talk gently with her, see how you feel. You don't have to go back to 12 or anything, but I think it'll help stop the confusion in your brain"

I sigh heavily " I don't think I can ever face her again" Guilt spreads through my body as images of that passionate night fills my head. She had whispered several times that night that she loved me and was glad I came back to her, I wasn't healthy when we were together and I had murderous thoughts about her with every thrust. I had asked her afterwards if I had hurt her in any way, part of me praying that I did, but she had sighed, smiled into my chest and whispered another 'I love you'. I got scared the next morning and took off, not realizing I'd never get the chance to say goodbye to her after she was shipped back to 12. Will I ever go back to the District that I grew up in? Probably not, only time will tell. Right now I don't think I can handle seeing her right now.

"Is fear holding you back or is it something else" He questions, cuffing his hands on the desk again.

"Something else" I admit.

Aurelius nods his head and checks his watch "Well it will have to be tomorrow then I must end our session here"

I shake hands with the doctor and am on my way. The sun is high in the sky as I pass through the double doors of the large 6 story building. The sun is high in the sky and even though it shines brightly in the afternoon day the temperature is cool and chilly, winter is definitely coming and I have a feeling its going to be a nasty one. The streets are crowded as I make my way down the sidewalk towards the small little coat shop that is about 3 miles down the road from Doctor's Aurelius's building, or as everyone around the city calls it, the psych-ward. It's helping me and that's all that matters, he is trying his damn hardest to figure out what triggers the episodes, how to prevent violence, I'm stuck with the false memories for the rest of my life, but there is still hope that I can get the violent side of the hijacking under control. Once I'm 100% sure that I wont ever lay a hand on her again, then I'll go back to 12 and start over. Would there even be a 'starting over' for us. I haven't seen or heard from her since the night we made love in the Capitol. She went home and I stayed here. I don't regret my choice in getting my head clear and listen to Aurelius use big brain surgeon words while describing the parts of my brain that were injected or effected by the venom.

It hasn't been all bad here in the capitol. When I'm not with Aurelius I am with a small group of Capitol people who I met 6 months ago, people who helped me get around. Who showed me the good places to eat, shop and have fun. I was afraid at first that they might not want to hang out with a mental case that had his mind destroyed and was apart of two hunger games, but they treated me like everyone else. Although a couple of the guys that hung around looked at me like I was a crack-pot, never understanding why their friend Ban Davar ever decided to invite me to hand out. I guess being with them was good for me, Dr. Aurelius did say having a social life would keep my mind from wandering to the dark places, but I still wasn't so sure of some of the people who hung around here.

The coat shop was a 2 store building: the smallest building on the block by far. It had a gray and blue exterior and a sunset yellow interior, there were fur coats that hand in the front window, displayed for passing people. I push the little door open and the bell rang, indicating that someone had just entered. A girl with long brown hair and brown eyes comes dashing from the back, her eyes meet mine for a second and she allows a smile to spread across her face.

"Peeta. How are you?" She asks with a grin.

"Good. Chilly outside, winter is definitely coming."

"How was the doctor date" She teases.

Another girl comes from the back this one having long blonde hair and green eyes and behind her is a man with short spiky black hair and brown eyes. Ban. Ban comes up to me and forms a fist, I form my own and we fist-pump. The blonde girl Byla rolls her eyes and stalks back off into the back of the store. I was never a fan of Byla. She was to stuck up and into herself for my liking. Ban and the little brown-haired girl Mycha were all I needed to socialize with.

"What's up Peet?" Ban asks.

"Nothing much just got done with my appointment, figured I'd stop by since the shop is only a couple of miles down the road from the docs office" I explain.

"Are you getting any better?" Mycha asks hopefully, staring at me with her large chocolate-brown eyes.

Mycha and Ban are the only two capitol people that know the specifics of my torture. It took me a long time to be able to trust them, but in the end it was nice to have someone to talk to besides Aurelius and Effie Trinket who has let me invade her home, given me my own space. Her home was on the outskirts of the city, miles away from here and I'd have to take a bus to get there, the ride being 20 minutes long.

"I'm getting there. still not 100% but progressing. Although I'm kind of tired of hearing these big, medical terms" I smirk. "And the man goes on and on."

"Well we hope for the best and... well we have something we wanted to ask you." Mycha runs a hand through her brown hair and catches Ban's eyes, he gives her a small nod of approval, standing there with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face "We think you should stay here in the capitol with us and your friend Effie. I mean you're doing wonderful here, docs here, and Effie is like a mother to you right? Ban and I really, really like you Peeta. " She emphasizes the 'really, really like' part. My heart sinks to the ground. In a way she is right Effie is like my mother and she treats me wonderfully, although getting up at the ask crack of dawn before the sun rises is kind of annoying, but Effie is a good person and so are these people in front of me.

There was nothing left in District 12 for me, no family, no bakery, no...Katniss. Mixed emotions spread through my body as her name pops into my head. Her gray seam eyes, long black braided hair, that's slung over her left shoulders, her thin body and medium size breast. My mind wanders to inappropriate places. Her olive skin shining in the moonlight with sweat, her deep pants of pleasure as she grips my curls begging me to hold her, to bring her to the edge. Katniss Everdeen the girl on fire, the Mockingjay, the woman I fear, hate, and love all at the same time. Love. Do I love her? I can't say I do and I can't say I don't, all I can say is its complicated.

I shake my head at my friends "I...I...its complicated right now guys. "

Mycha looks down at the ground in disappointment and so does Ban, but his gaze are on his shoes. I appreciate that they care so much about me, but the decision in ever going home again is a touchy one and I'm not ready to face it just yet. I got to get over the fact that Katniss Everdeen consumes my thoughts, is in every inch of my brain and it scares the hell out of me knowing that she could end me with just a snap of her fingers. It got me wondering what she thought of me? Did she hate me for running out on her after we had sex for the first time, did she not think about me at all? Was she helping people rebuild 12 or she could be with Gale who I heard didn't take the fancy job that was offered to him in two. He made sure I knew he was returning to 12 instead of moving to 2. I tried very hard not to hate the man but all the kindness I've showed him has backfired.

"Peeta, What you got going on tonight?" Ban asks.

"Nothing really. Why?"

"Mycha, Byla, Dextox, and a couple of others are going to the new club they just opened, in the heart of the capitol if you want to join us." Ban invites.

"Sure I think it'll be fun." I accept the invitation and Ban punches my shoulder lightly, grinning like a manic, excitement filling his body.

"Awesome dude, I'll see you then, now if you excuse me I have to go see where Byla ran off to." And with that he makes a hasty escape into the back room after the blonde drama queen, leaving me alone with Mycha who is examining every inch of me.

"I'm glad you decided to come with us tonight it'll be fun. There will be food and dancing and socializing, and..." Her voice trails off and blush covers her face "There is something I need to talk to you bout. Something very important"

I cock my head and study her, unsure of what exactly she means by needing to talk to me, and that's when I see it. The same look I used to give Katniss. The same heart-felt, loving look I gave her every time she was near, the look that made my heart burst leap out of my chest. I pray that look Mycha was giving me was a look of friendship and not nothing more.

To be continued...


	4. Choices and rejections

Chapter 4

Choices and rejections.

(Peeta's POV)

I hike down the narrow sidewalk with my hands in my pockets. The sun is just about to dip behind the horizon filling the capitol sky with a purplish, orange color. Street lights were being turned on for the people who were still wandering the streets. Honestly the capitol never sleeps; there was always some sort of party going on within these city walls. Some things they did for entertainment were completely absurd, like getting together and eating, the puke drinks that were offered to Katniss and I were shockingly still around. These people were the same selfish, greedy people they once were during the games it didn't matter who was in charge of the city now. The capitol residents will never seen themselves as equals to the Districts and why would they? Why would they see themselves as equals anyway they had money, clothes, food on the table all the time, 'entertainment', and the attitude to go with it all. Mycha and Ban were capitol residents that's why at first I never wanted anything to do with either of them, probably because of the fact that both never had to worry about their names entering the reaping ball, or maybe because it was the fact that they never starved, or scrounged, they always had fresh clothes and probably cheered on their favorite Tribute. They were spoiled rich Capitol citizens like the rest of them which had shocked me. They never really got into watching the games or eating until they were full and then throw it all up so they could eat again. They were more like the Capitol outcasts. Ban and Mycha minded their own business at school, stuck to one another. They were brother and sister so of course they had each others trust. Byla on the other hand was the third sister and she was everything but Capitol citizen; Stuck up, fancy to look at, eat until their was no room and very rude.

The look she gets in her eyes every time I enter the coat shop was one of hatred. She absolutely hated my presence and everything about me, everybody in their group except for Ban and Mycha hated me and if it weren't for them I probably would have just went straight home and joined Effie at the table for dinner. I let my mind linger on the thought "Home', the confusion that set in as I thought of the word irritated me as thoughts of the ashy covered wasteland that was once District 12 filled my mind. Although I never actually seen the graveyard that was once my home, Katniss had described to me in detail what the Capitol did to it and my heart swelled with pain. Even though 12 remained a ghost land, a soulless land, didn't mean I didn't miss the fresh scent of bread as I entered the bakery, the fresh breezy air and the scent of wildflowers as I passed the meadow on my way into town. District 12 was my home and I finally realized that I didn't want to become some rich capitol snob who had everything in the world, and went to sleep in a luxurious mattress every night. There was only one problem with going back and that was having to face Katniss. My thoughts about her were still so jumbled and out of control that I don't know where to start in sorting them out, one moment I hate her and the next I love her. Love? Is that what I'm feeling every time I pictured her face.

Her long beautiful black braided hair is always swung over her left shoulder, those grey eyes boring into my blue ones as she scowled at me, smiled at me, her thin, smooth bare body as it lay beneath me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I can still feel her tiny palms as they rest against my bare back, feel the tips of her fingers digging into my skin, her pants and moans filling my ears. I find myself think about that night a lot, too much and it both scares the hell out of me and fills me with complete joy. I blink out of my thoughts and peer around, we have stopped in front of a large dark blue building. Ban and Mycha had been deep in conversation and I had been quiet the whole way to the club.

"Peeta, you alright over there?" Mycha asks with concern.

"I'm fine, just thinking a lot" I assure her, trying to brush off the fact that she may or may not have a thing for me. Romance with different girls was the last thing on my mind. Mycha was really pretty with her long brown hair and brown eyes, but I didn't see her as more than anything but a friend. Her and her brother help me make my way around the city, gave me directions when I first came here, showed me all the things that their was to do in the Capitol. I never realize just how big of a city this was until they took me into every corner of it. The capitol literally had everything, every shop imaginable, a bunch of restaurants and party clubs, they had parks, a memorable monument for the capitol Children that has lost their lives during the war.

"Can we go in now?" Ban asks impatiently.

Mycha claps her hand excitedly and tugs on my hand leading my to the double doors. The music is exotic and loud, blasting through two very large speakers. Ban breaks away from Mycha and I, giving us time to talk and probably seeking out something to eat and drink, as he goes I catch him glance over his shoulder and give Mycha a small nod which blush creeps across her face, she bites her lip and nods back. I hear her inhale deeply and turn to me.

"Want to dance" She shouts over the music.

Should I accept? the last thing I want to do is lead this poor girl on, but I didn't want to seem like a buzz kill either so I nod my head and she claps excitedly pulling me by the arm out onto the dance floor. We dance quickly in front of each other, neither one of us touching the other. I don't really want to have to place my hands on her, that's why I'm hoping the tune will stay upbeat and fast. I spoke to soon the music changes and people get in position to slow dance. Mycha looks at me, biting her lip so hard that I think its going to crack the skin and blood will shortly appear in specks. She takes a step forward and places her hands at my shoulders and I place mine at her waist, now is the time to let her down, when everything is slow.

"Mycha" I mutter her name.

"Peeta, I really need to talk to you." She says nervously.

"I know Mycha and I am going to do this as easy as possible. Would you like to go somewhere less crowded?"

She blushes and nods her head multiple and I lead her away from the heavy group in the middle through the double doors we just came in from. The air is cool against my skin and it makes both of us shiver. The sun has fully set and darkness takes the sky, the streetlights gives us clear visual of our surroundings. Mycha doesn't even wait for me to begin my speech. Before I know what's going on she has her hands against each side of my face, stands on her tiptoes and is pulling me into a kiss. It is real quick kiss and I don't kiss her back, my lips stay motionless and images of making love to Katniss are back. Mycha pulls away, her face as red as an apple.

"I can't" I mumble softly. "I can't do this"

She is shaking really badly "I really, really like you, Peeta. Everything about you, You're the most wonderful person I have ever met in my entire life" She is off by a long shot. I'm no longer the kind sweet Peeta Mellark that I once was before the games and wars, if she could see the dark, ugly person I have become she'd be running for her life screaming. I can't do this, she is nothing but a friend to me. My heart is pounding in my chest and I suddenly wish that it was Katniss standing in front of my dressed in a pair of jeans and a winter striped, fancy sweater. that why I'd be able to kiss her back.

"Please stay here in the capitol with Ban and I, you're so nice to us and we like you a lot. You've been through hell, we all have and its time to move on, start over brand new. You can do that here, Ban and I can even help you get an empty lot for a bakery, all we got to do is talk to mom and dad and maybe..." I gently cut her off.

"Mycha, listen to me and understand. You and Ban are good people you really are and you've actually helped me through a lot in listening to my story about what had happened during the war and in the Capitol dungeons. I need you to know that I value you guys so much and am grateful that I've had the chance to meet people like you, but after six months of talking to the doctor, trying to figure out what is wrong with my head I've realized that I need to face my problems instead of hiding and if I decide to stay here with you and Ban and my" I pause for a moment, What is Effie Trinket to me? My mother? She really does act like it and honestly she does a better job then my birth mother "My mother, it will be like running away and that's something I never want to do."

Mycha sighs in sadness "I'm in love with you Peeta" Mycha admits "A lot, a lot, like very much."

"I'm very flattered that you feel that way about me, but Mycha I can't" I reject gently.

"What not" the sadness in her voice is increasing and it seems like she is on the verge of tears. the last thing I want to do is upset her and make her feel like I don't want her at all because really all I want is her friendship, I cannot and will not become romantically involved with her. Her sadness soon becomes anger as she speaks again "Does this have anything to do with that girl back home?" She hisses.

I don't lie to her, I can't lie to my friend "It has everything to do with her." I admit.

Mycha's rage continues and I see her rolls her eyes in the bright light "You told me she never loved you. She was fake and that everything she should you was a lie. Why would you want to go back to her, Peeta. A girl who doesn't care about you?"

My mind begins to wonder and an image comes forward, momentarily taking me back to 'that' night.

Flashback.

_My breathing is heavy and deep, words can't describe as to how good my body feels as Katniss's walls clutch me, pulling me to her deeper and deeper. She moans my name and I go from being loving and gentle to hard and disgusted. The mutt laying beneath me can easily plunge a dagger into my bare back , ending it all right here and now, but she doesn't the only thing she is plunging into my skin are the tips of her sharp, jagged nails. The moonlight is the only source of light that we have shinning through the window, I can faintly see her withering underneath me, begging me to go harder and then slower._

_"Don't stop" she gasps out. _

_I don't plan to stop; it feels way to good. My back is covered in sweat as I set the pace, her hands are slick but still manages to get a good grip on my skin. I kiss her, our lips melt against one another and she moves her right hand from it position on my back to bury it into my slick damp curls. Our lips eventually detach and Katniss moans louder as my pace continues rougher. She wraps her legs around my waist as I plunge into her, her shouts are getting louder and louder with each thrust and I'm afraid that she may wake up Haymitch and Effie, or whoever was here to listen._

_"Katniss, you, uh, Katniss" I couldn't make a full sentence so part of what I was saying didn't make sense at all, but she didn't care She crashed her lips on mine and continued to thrust with me. I'm not sure how long we rocked and rolled between the sheets, but soon my body started to shake and the pressure that was building in my body became too much to hand and I let out a very loud grunt and empty myself inside her. I didn't have to worry about getting her pregnant because according to her and the capitol she wasn't able to get pregnant, her body has taken so much abuse during the games and war, that she lost that capability. _

_"I love you so much, Peeta" She moans out as I lay my head in between her bare breast and gasp out_.

"_I love you" I return._

End of flashback.

The night was much longer and passionate then that. We stopped and started all night, falling asleep around 3am, then I took off around 7 out of fear and I haven't seen her since. She told me so many times that night that she was in love with me, that she was sorry for everything she has put me through. I'm so engrossed in the memory that I almost forgot Mycha was still standing in front of me, tears were falling out of her brown eyes, soaking her cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Mycha" I say sincerely.

"I'm in love with you, Please stop making this complicated"

I have to tell her flat-out I dint have feelings for her, but do I love Katniss? Do I want to go home and face her, help rebuild my home, see my friends and neighbors against, visit the site where my family lost their lives. Mycha is right on one thing I have a chance to start over here in the capitol. I never have to see District 12 or Katniss again, but that's not what I want. I want to start all over, but I want to do it in District 12, not here.

I bite the inside of my cheek and gaze up into Mycha's watery brown eyes and say the words I know is going to break her, but needs to be said and heard "I love her, I've always loved her. I don't think I've ever stopped."

"Fine, I get it you don't want me. I'm not good enough for Peeta Mellark, Who am I to think I could even come in between the star-crossed lovers. A girl who works at a coat store, ha" She wipes the tears from her face and continues to sob "I'm not pretty like she is or strong, or kind, she is better than me at everything."

"Mycha stop it okay. I need you, but as my friend. I want you but just not in that way. Your too much of a good friend."

"I'm done with this conversation." And with that said she stomps her way back into the club, fresh tears streaming down her face. I feel like shit, but I needed to reject her and tell her how much Katniss means to me. Did I mean it though? Am I still capable of loving her? Did she really mean it when she told me she loved during sex? So many unanswered questions, so much unfinished business. Maybe I should do what doctor Aurelius told me I should do and that's contact her, see how I react. Can I handle it though, the mere though of seeing Katniss again after 6 months of being away frightens the hell out of me. I needed to start over with her, take my time in rebuilding our relationship. I couldn't come back and expect her to be waiting with open arms. We were seriously broken, our minds, body and relationship. I could do it, get on a train right now, go back to the ashen District, help her and the people rebuild, instead of staying here in The Capitol and undergo the same treatment over and over, but there was a strong possibility that I was still capable of hurting her and I didn't want that. I had to make sure that I didn't try to kill her the moment I see her fragile, thin body. I could never again try to wrap my hands around her neck, leaving deep purple bruises.

I decided not to go back into the club because honestly I didn't want to face Mycha and see the tears I've caused run down her face. I feel guilty enough for upsetting her and I know Ban is going to be more than displeased that I not only rejected his little sister, but made her cry. I'm not going to say yes to someone who I don't have feelings for its just not in my nature to play someone and fake feelings don't exist within me, everything I feel is real. As I stroll down the Capitol sidewalk, gazing up at the colorful city streetlights that guided me to a bus stop that would take me to Effie's house I began to realize just how much I missed the girl on fire, her hair, her smile, her head-strong attitude, kind-spirited soul. I was going to do everything in my power to set things right, to make things right between us, and the first step in doing that was to go home. I wouldn't sleep well tonight at Effie's and I'm sure she would be more than happy to here I was making plans in going home. I had to get Doctor's Aurelius's opinion, whether he says it was okay or not I was still going no matter what.

I Peeta Mellark was going back to District 12.

To be continued...


	5. Lynn Everdeen

Chapter 5

Lynn Everdeen

(Katniss's POV)

I sit stretched out on the couch when she arrives, entering through the front door with Gale trailing behind her. I can hear them exchange mindless chatter, a few chuckles here and there. Gale offers to take her bags to the spare room upstairs and she accepts, walking into the living room. My eyes remain lock on the fireplace in front of me and I watch as the flames engulf the wood. My mother has barely changed since the last time I saw here. She was still thin, gray hair mixing in with her blonde locks and the tired look she always wore was still there. Shocked is the only thing I'm feeling right now, she actually came back to the place that reminded her of everything she lost. My father's ghost was here and so was Prim's, We've lost absolutely everything our home and our family. My mother takes a deep breath and moves across the room, sitting in the pulse recliner that is a couple of inches away from the couch. We sit in an awkward silence for a couple of minutes before she decides to brave it and talk to me.

"Katniss, How are you?" She questions, rubbing her hands back and forth against each other, it becomes obvious that it is cold outside and she is trying to radiate heat from her body in order to warm up.

"Fine" I reply, glancing from the fireplace over to her. She has bags under her eyes which means she probably isn't getting enough sleep at night, neither am I, the nightmares are too much for me to handle and since I have to go to sleep in an empty bed they are twice as bad. That was the one good thing about Peeta he would comfort me with his arms, chase away the nightmares, making sure to guard me from the darkness that spread through my mind. He was always there for me when I woke up and fell asleep. The last good nights rest I had was when we made love for the first time, but now it was I either wake up screaming my head off, tearing at the sheets below me or barely sleep at all which was unhealthy for the baby because she could feel my stress, my emotions, everything that I was putting myself through. I wasn't healing at all. The only thing keeping me alive was this baby. I was only eating because of her, was only bathing to keep my body clean and healthy, other than eating, bathing and fighting with Gale I wasn't doing much with my life. I'd always decline the invites Gale gave me when he wanted me to go on walks with him, or help with the rebuilding which I couldn't do anyway I was pregnant and I didn't know what was dangerous to do and what was not. slipping and falling was a danger so that's why I decided to leave the walks out.

"Sorry it took longer for me to get here" Mom apologized "Trains are still closed, had to call in and order a hovercraft ticket. They been transporting people from place to place since the trains are down, tracks are destroyed. I've worked in 4 day in and day out, becoming a doctor. I think maybe you should have the baby there." She gets right to the point.

"Have you forgotten that I'm banned to 12, that I'm the crazy unstable girl who shot and killed District 13 president. Mother I don't want anyone knowing I'm pregnant. You know what's going to happen if the media gets wind of this?" I glare daggers in her direction and place a protective hand on my belly. She knows my touch by now and starts reacting to my rubbing. Her kicks are fierce and I smile to myself as she response to my touch.

"Katniss, I know the media will be tough to deal with once they figure out that you're pregnant and frankly I don't want them coming after my granddaughter, but..." I cut her off, angry at her for never even mentioning me. Was she only here because of my baby, that is a possibility. She didn't care that she had a daughter left, I might as well be dead too.

"Oh and you don't give a shit that they might come after me too. Of course not, you didn't come here for me did you? You came for my baby."

"Katniss, I want to help in every way I can okay. Your emotional and you wont be able to do this without help. You certainly can't give birth in this District. The baby wont survive in this type of environment sweetie. District 4 has a medical building, we don't have high-tech equipment like the Capitol, but its enough to help you through labor. Let me talk to the officials, see if they'll let you transfer District."

"Mom, they are not..." Tears are threatening to spill from my eyes. She is upsetting me with this talk and I begin to realize that I don't have much of an option here. She is right District 12 is nothing but a vast wasteland filled with dead bodies and horrifying memories. "I don't want them near my baby!" I hiss.

My mother sighs in frustration and taps her foot against the carpet "Katniss, you're being selfish here, think about the baby safety. If you give birth here where is she going to get cloths? Winter is coming and temperatures are going to drop, food will be scarce."

Tears are flying down my cheeks and the urge to run and lock myself in the upstairs room becomes an option, but I stand my ground against my mother. She does know what she is talking about and is right, I don't have clothes or food for my baby. I rub her as her kicks comes fierce and non-stop. She can sense my stress and sadness. My mother rises from the recliner and makes her way over to me, I fold my legs under my body and allow her to take a seat on the left cushion.

"There is something else you may want to consider and don't get angry for this suggestion." Mom takes a deep breath, resting a hand against my shoulder "You've been through hell honey okay, seen things, been through things a normal girl shouldn't have been through. You got pregnant too young way to young, your 17 years old Katniss and I don't think you're ready to take care of a baby."

I stare at her in disbelief "What are you saying? That I wont be able to take care of my child!"

"Katniss, All I'm saying is your stressed, you've been through a traumatic experience, a child right now is the last thing you need to worry about."

I clutch my fists and glare daggers at her "Nobody and I mean nobody is taking my baby away from me. Not you or the Capitol nobody. She is mine and Peetas and I'll be damned if you try to take her." I pull myself up from the couch despite the heavy burden that spreads through my body. My mother gets up with me, protesting, telling me not to get upset because it wasn't good for the child, but I ignore her and waddle my way to the stairs taking each one carefully, hanging onto the wooden railing as I ascend. Gale is at the top of the stairs leaning against a wall of the narrow hallway. He was eavesdropping the whole entire time. I brush past him, making sure to bump shoulders with him just lightly to let him know I'm pissed at him for calling her and bringing her here. He goes to say something but I don't catch it because I swing open my bedroom door, slamming it shut behind me and locking it, making sure neither one of them can get in. I'm so disgusted with my mother right now. How could she even consider trying to convince me to give my baby up? She is apart of Peeta and apart of me.

I throw myself on the cool sheets of the mattress, burying my head into the closest pillow and sobbing. My mother didn't give two shits about me, this was all for the baby. Did she think she could waltz right in here and try to convince me to leave 12, expose my unborn child to the Capitol? Better yet did she really think I'd give it up to her. I know what she was trying to say and that was: I may be an unfit mother, my experiences in the games and the war have completely traumatized me, broken the strong-wielded girl that I once was.

I place my hand on my belly and rubbed, tears in my eyes. She kicks and I smile "I wont let anyone take you I promise." I continue to cry and she continues to move "Oh...god I need your father right now, I need him so much. I love him, I love your father." I managed to cry until there were no tears left and until sleep managed to take me. The nightmares come hard and fast and when I wake up the sun is just about to set over the horizon. My stomach growls and I have no choice but to get up and fetch some food. I pray that she wouldn't be here by the time I waddled my way downstairs and into my kitchen. I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Gale especially since this was all his fault. He brought her here, it pisses me off that he doesn't think before he acts, did he really think she wouldn't try to convince me to leave the District and have the baby somewhere else? He should have known she'd view me as an unfit mother and who was she to view me as that anyway. She was the woman who left her two daughter for death, sat there like a statue while Prim and I starved and fought for survival. She was the unfit mother not me. I'm going to do everything in my power for this baby. I tiptoe down the stairs, pausing when I heard voices come from the kitchen. To my demise they haven't left.

"She wont give that baby up, you do realize that right" Gale says.

"I know and I wouldn't want her to, but we don't have a choice Gale. She has been through hell, she needs to focus on healing. She is to traumatized to take care of it. I love my daughter I really do, but I want to be what's best for my grandchild. Look at this District the baby will never survive if its born here."

"You're right, Lynn. I care about Katniss a lot and this might kill her if you decide to take her baby away from her. She'd never forgive you."

"I don't want to take the child, it's just something that needs to be done. You know when she first confirmed that she was pregnant I thought you were the father, but then she said it was Peetas. Listen I know the boy is sick and all, but I cant help but have this feeling of resentment towards him, he tried to kill my daughter."

Does she know that she is standing face to face with the man responsible for Prim's death? Obviously not or she wouldn't be talking so kindly to him. How would she react if I plowed into the kitchen and told her that Gale designed a bomb that had a hand in Prim's death, but I don't move from the bottom of the stairs, listening to every word they were saying, and everything out of their mouths pissed me off.

"I know I feel the same way about him. I want to do everything in my power to keep him out of her life and out of that baby's life, you can count on that" Gale promises .

"Now that's not the right thing to do. I know I've said things about the boy, but he is still the father of my grandchild and as much as I dislike the idea of him being around my daughter and my grandchild it is his right."

I hear Gale sigh "He wont come back to her, That hijacking shit is too dangerous and as much as I hate to say this he wont come back if he thinks he might hurt her in any way, he...uh..." Gale groans in irritation "He loves her and so do I. I'm here for her now and I'm here for the baby. He's not here and he will never come back again."

"He will for his baby" Mother commented.

"Lynn, he doesn't even know." Gale reveals. "She hasn't contacted him to tell him."

I make myself known before they could continue their conversation. Both pairs of eyes are on my as I make my way into the kitchen and towards the fridge, the hunger is painful and I grab anything and everything I could. Everything from a jar of pickles to mustard. Gale and my mother are silent as they watch me place the food on the table and dig in.

"Sleep well?" My mother asks.

"Not really" I reply.

"When your done I'd like to check you out. see how the baby is doing. I brought some things with me. I want to listen to the baby's heartbeat"

"I really don't think I want you around her." I hiss.

"Katniss stop being like this"

"Your trying to take her away from me. I'm not the unfit mother here you are. You let Prim and I starve when dad died while you checked out"

My words hurt her a lot and tears start to form in her blue eyes. Good she deserves this after everything she put me and Prim through while we were growing up. Then, she comes back to 12 acting like nothing happened, suggesting all this shit to me about what I should do with my baby, giving her up is not an option and leaving District 12 to give birth isn't one either. I eat my food as quickly as I can and waddle my way into the kitchen, Gale sadly follows me and places an arm around my waist before I can sit down on my usual place on the couch. He gently turns me so we are face to face, and for a second it looks like he is going to kiss me, but he doesn't and I'm thankful.

"She's trying to help us through this."

"There is no us" I growl and shrug him off. "I want you guys to leave me alone."

"No, you're pregnant, you need to be around people who love you. Why would you want to be alone?"

"I don't I want and need Peeta with me right now. I need to tell him he is going to be a father, and we need to figure out what we are going to do."

Gale looks irritated and he snaps "FUCK HIM, HE"S GONE"

My mother steps into the living room and slaps Gale's shoulder "Do not yell at my daughter Gale Hawthorne."

"I'm so sick of hearing about Peeta. It's always Peeta this, Peeta that, Peeta, Peeta, Peeta. Get it through your goddamn head Katniss he fucked you and left, got what he wanted and ditched you. You're a mutt and a piece of fucking ass to him."

"Get out right now" My mother screams at him.

I managed to shrug out of his arms as he burst with jealous and anger, now I cower on the couch in tears while he hovers over me screaming and yelling telling me how much he hates Peeta, how if he ever sees Peeta again he was going to kill him. He cursed and yelled, even flipped my coffee table, breaking the large vase that sit in the middle that held fake flowers from the Capitol. Gale eventually does make his way to the front door, flinging it open and stalking out into the chilly air, not bothering to shut it out his way out. My mother shuts it gently for me and makes her way back over to the couch, gathering me in her arms while I cry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to kiss and lead Gale on like this, maybe if I would have gotten my feelings straight I wouldn't be in this mess. I wish I never would have kissed him in the woods or in 13, I wish I would have set things straight and told him he was nothing more than a friend to me. My mother is more shocked than anything at the fact that the noble Gale Hawthorne has a temper like that. I'm not sure how long she sat there holding me while I cry my eyes out, but the sun has set and darkness has spread across the District.

She lights a fire and makes me dinner while I sit there like a stiff board, peering into the flames like I always do. She brings me a plate of mashed potatoes and gravy with a side of bread, corn and fake turkey on the side. We eat in silence, neither one of us knowing what to say to each other. It's like this for a couple of minutes before my mother goes to say something, opening her mouth but then quickly closing it as a knock comes from the door. We look at each other, unsure if either of us should open it.

"If Gale thinks he is coming in this house at all tonight he is crazy" My mother states sternly.

"I'll answer it, if its him I'll send him away."

I rise from the couch and make my over to the front door, feeling the nervousness spread through every inch of my body. It came as a shock to me, seeing Gale burst like that, but it made me realize that he had nothing but fire inside him, fire and fire don't work well together. The brass knob turns as I fling the door open coming face to face with my visitor, ready to yell at him to go away, but as my gray eyes settle on the man in front of me my heart burst, tears start to flying down my cheeks and I place a hand over my mouth.

"Peeta"

"Hi"

To be continued...


	6. Return

Chapter 6

Return

(Katniss's POV)

"Hi" Peeta gently greets.

"You're back" I comment as tears of joy run down my face and soaks my cheeks. The baby dances at my excitement and kicks, Peeta remains motionless, his eyes bore into mine and I'm not sure what is going through his head or how meeting up after 6 months was going to effect the both of us, but he stands there, arms at his sides, lips in a tight line. He doesn't know what to do and neither do I. I don't know the boundaries or the condition he is in. He hasn't changed at all in the past 6 months except for the slight gain in weight and the small amount of muscle he has gain back. He looks tired and worn down from the trip, I'm also guessing that he doesn't sleep well because of the nightmares either, but other than that he is beautiful, amazing and I'm thankful that he just walked back into my life. My heart swells with love as I reach out to him and gently pull him into a hug, crushing him to me as far as the baby bump will allow. He is about to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me in, but he freezes as my large stomach presses up against his and the baby kicks at the first contact it has with its father. Peeta becomes as stiff as a board, gently pushing me back a few inches in order to get a good look at my prodding stomach, His mouth drops and breathing increases.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes" I admit.

His eyes widen and he's not sure how to response or react. We stand in the doorway of the house, the cool breeze is causing both of us to shiver. I motion for him to come inside, sidestepping so he can get past me. He enters the warm house his eyes never leaving me as I close the door, locking the chilly air outside. He stands there tall, confused and nervous. There are so many things that we need to discuss, so little time. I don't know where to begin I thought for a fact that we'd be able to pick up right where we left off, but it's complicated. My mother comes around the corner from the kitchen and stops dead in her tracks as she catches sight of Peeta, her mouth slightly hanging open and disbelief filling her blue eyes. He nods in her direction and she nods back, never giving him a look of hatred like I expected she would. my mother doesn't hate Peeta, she pities him more than anything I'm guessing. She knows he is sick and that he can't help his actions or words, but that doesn't stop her from becoming weary of him.

"Hello, Peeta" She greets calmly.

"Mrs. Everdeen."

"Please call me Lynn." I hate my mothers fake attitude towards him, just the other day she was telling me it wouldn't do because he was the father of my baby, or the fact that he tried to kill me when she knew for a fact that he was sick and tortured. "What are you doing back here?"

Peeta bites his lip for a moment and scratches the back of his head, choosing his words very carefully "This is my home, ma'am and I came back to help rebuild it and help Katniss"

I turn to look at my mother, begging her with my eyes to leave us alone and let us catch up. I need to tell him that this baby is his and its important that I do it without my mother hovering over us. There are so many other things that needs to be discussed and I can't do it with her here, obviously Peeta feels the same way because he shifts uneasily and shoots her a look that says 'please Mrs. Everdeen I need to talk to her alone' he doesn't say it out loud like I wish he would, so I am stuck doing it.

"Mom I need to talk to Peeta alone, Can you do me a favor and check on Haymitch its been awhile since I've seen him last." The last time I've seen my mentor was a couple of days ago when he and Gale entered the house while I was on the couch pretending to sleep, they had somewhat of a harsh conversation with the result of Haymitch leaving and Gale calling him an asshole.

My mother is hesitant in leaving me alone with him, but she forcibly nods her head, shooting Peeta a warning look that says 'if you hurt my daughter or granddaughter I'll kill you.' She pulls her shoes on and a light coat, gives Peeta one last deadly look and is out the front door. My heart swells in my chest as I realize this is the first time since that night we were alone with each other. Peeta doesn't know where to begin all he can do is pace back and forth and stare at my large stomach in front of him. I can see the confliction in his eyes and all I want to do is erase it, help him understand what's going on and that we need to prepare for this. He is going to be a father to a beautiful baby, girl or boy I don't know, all I care about is that it's healthy, the gender can wait until its born. We are quiet for a moment, I watch him pace back and forth, lost for words.

"You need to tell me what's going on, Katniss" Peeta says finally stopping his pacing and turns to look at me.

"I'm pregnant what else is there going on. Nothing really besides the fact that I'm miserable, the baby has no clothes, food or diapers, nothing for when it is born."

Peeta takes a deep breath, crouches and presses his hands together for a moment "Is the baby mine?" I sigh in relief at his question he hasn't forgotten about our night in the capitol and neither have I, I will never forget the night we conceived our child.

"Yes the baby is yours. I haven't had sex with anybody but you" I tell him honestly.

He nods his head multiple times and places the nail of his index finger between his teeth and bites it off. I can't read him, I don't know what he is feeling, what he's thinking and its driving me crazy. Is he happy about the baby, upset, angry, regretful. This was a big secret to lay on someone and right now I don't know if he is able to handle the news. Peeta begins pacing again, mumbling something quietly under his breath, I don't quiet catch the words. He is like that for at least 20 minutes, until I had enough of his pacing and mumbling.

"Please stop Peeta. Say something to me" I beg.

"What do you want me to say, Katniss? I don't know what to say other than why didn't you tell me sooner, like when you found out. Your not in the early stage of pregnancy are you?"

I shake my head "I'm six months pregnant, I found out a couple of weeks after they dumped me off and after we had sex. I couldn't tell you Peeta."

"Why couldn't you tell me? Because I was crazy right, because I wanted nothing more than to hurt you?"

"Please lets not do this please. I'm tired of fighting with people, Gale has been giving me a massive headache and is putting me and the baby under so much stress and now my mother want to take him."

Peeta frowns at this "What? Is that why she is here, to take our child."

"She wants me to have the baby in either District 4 or the Capitol, but the only way to do that is to get my exile sentence revoked, that will alert the media, cameras will be all over the place and Panem will know about this baby. I don't want that for her I don't, then my mother said something about me not being able to take care of the baby, I'm pretty much to unstable to handle her. Peeta I know this is a lot to take in, but please I need you here for our baby. She needs her daddy"

"Katniss I'm going to help with the rebuilding, move back here and all, but my hijacking is still lingering. I'll be here as much as I can be, but I don't want to hurt you or the baby. I'm going to do the best I can. I came back here because its my home and I came back for you."

"Do you still love me? Are you still the boy with the bread?" The question just slips out of my mouth on its own. I need to know if somewhere deep down the boy with the bread still lingered, the one who announced to the entire nation that he was in love with me. The one who lost his leg for me and would take a bullet to the chest if it meant I'd be safe. Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread. The boy I fell in love with, the father of my child. Peeta is so quiet for a long moment, he rubs his temples, the back of his neck and crouches placing his head between his knees as if he is getting light-headed.

"Yes I do still love you, but I cant do anything about it right now. My brain is fragile and abnormal, Aurelius suggested I don't do anything but talk to you."

"Can I have a simple hug?" I bite my lip holding back tears. He sighs heavily but to my surprise moves across the carpet and gently takes me in his strong arms, gently crushing me to him. I inhale his heavenly scent and bury my head in his chest, being in his arms made me feel safe and secure like nothing could ever hurt me again. My large belly touches his flat one and once again the contact makes her move and kick at her father. A small smile appears on Peeta's face as he feels the tiny kicks against his own stomach. He takes his hand that was curled around my back and place it against my stomach, his smile turns into a grin as he feels her move inside me for the first time. I start at him in 'awe', witnessing a father feeling his baby kick for the first time is a very touching sight. Oh how I want to lean in and kiss him so passionately that he wont be able to think straight, but I don't and it's because both of us have to take it easy.

"She knows who her daddy is" I smile as tears of joy runs down my face. Peeta's hands stay planted on my stomach, he takes them away when she dies down and probably falls asleep. Peeta takes a step back, only grabbing onto my hand to lead me over to the couch and help me sit down to rest. Words cant describe as to how grateful I am to have him back into my life. He came back to me. I knew he would, fuck what Gale had said about him not loving me, about him having sex with me for the hell of it. He sits down on the center cushion and I take the right one.

"I still don't understand why you didn't tell me." He frowns.

"I was scared Peeta, so damn scared at the fact that I was going to be a mother. I panicked. The last time I saw you was the night we had sex and oh my god that was amazing I loved every second of it. You were so gentle, so incredibly gentle with these." I pause to pick up his hands and lace them together, his hands are cold and chilled, He's probably still heating up from his trip through the elements. "I loved every touch and thrust you gave me that night, but I was scared when I woke up and found you gone, it was like the passionate, incredible sex we had didn't mean anything to you, and then when I found out I was pregnant and that there was no doubt in my mind that you were the father because you were the only one I've ever had sex with. I was scared shitless, I thought the boy with the bread hated me because the Capitol poisoned his mind. I was scared and am still scared. How are we going to do this Peeta? How are we going to care for our baby." I start to sob and its only then he takes me into his arms carefully and holds me.

"Shh, don't cry I'll think of something. I'm back and I'm not going to leave again, okay. We got a long road ahead of us and I want us to take it slow. I'm not going to let your mother or anyone take our baby. I'm going to do everything and anything to help get ready, I'll dump my entire Victor's money into this baby if I have to"

I laugh, wiping away the tears as they fall "Stupid me forgot all about the Victor's cash that lasts us the rest of our lives. I could have ordered baby clothes from the capitol instead of feeling sorry for myself. Idiot me, but that will probably give us away."

"See that's a start. Everyone in Victor Village has one of them high-tech computers from 3, so why not use it and browse, put in a private order." Peeta suggests.

"I've been under a lot of stress lately, between mother and Gale, and Haymitch who never shows up. I really think he is avoiding Gale like the plague. Gale was mean to him. I didn't even think to do that"

"Whoa back up? What's Gale been doing to you?"

"I just don't want him near the baby when she is born is all and I don't want him near you."

Images of Gale flipping the coffee table over out of rage which my mother straightened it up before she left, the fire in his eyes and that hatred in his body every time Peeta's name was mentioned. Jealousy was a dangerous thing to deal with, Especially someone like Gale who was capable of doing anything in order to get what he wanted and what he wanted right now was me and the baby. He was going to flip out once he caught wind of Peeta's return, he was going to be pissed at the fact that Peeta was in my house and had every intention of taking care of me. Peeta wasn't going to leave my side again, he was here now for me and the baby, nobody was going to take him away from me again. We got a second chance at making things right again and I was going to take it. We still had his hijacking to deal with but that was far from my list of things to worry about. I knew if he tried hard he'd be able to control the emotions and memories that flashed through his mind.

"If that's what you want then I'll make sure he doesn't come near you or the baby" Peeta promises.

"Peeta, I'm scared of him. He flipped out today just at the mentioning of your name. My mother was even shocked at his behavior, I felt as if he was going to hurt me in some way."

"I'll kill him if he hurts you, like literally kill him" Peeta hisses.

"It wont come down to that. I guess we have a lot of work to do. I'm going to figure out how to fire up that computer upstairs. Are you going to be staying long?"

"Yeah for as long as you need me."

My heart swells and I smile at him. "I love you" The words are automatic, unstoppable and they are true. "I love you so much and I'm so thankful you came back into my life, into this baby's life. I don't care if your hijacked, I love you" Last time I told him that he was on top of me, making love to me like it was the last thing he'd ever do.

"I love you too." Peeta returns and hugs me tightly. I knew my boy with the bread was still somewhere deep down, he was in there and he was fighting to get better. He could do it, Peeta Mellark was strong.

"Can I have a kiss? Please" I beg for one.

Peeta hesitates for a second, but then fits his mouth into my driving me into a passionate kiss. It feels so good to be kissed by him again, I don't ever want to pull away. Peeta cuffs the back of my head deepening the kiss and my stomach flutters not from the baby, but because there are so many butterflies flitting around. Oh god I don't want him to stop. We kiss and kiss, until he breaks away for air.

"Oh god I love you so much" I pant.

He doesn't say anything just fits his lips back to mine and continues to kiss me. My arms are around his neck, my fingertips are gliding through his blonde silky locks, holding him in place, begging him to keep kissing me which he does. I don't know how long we sit there kissing each other but it feel good, our reunion is perfect, he knows about the baby, he doesn't hate me, he loves me and he swears to keep Gale away from me. We keep kissing and it's not until the front door gently opens do we break away and gaze at our intruder. My body shakes with fear as he steps into the house, his eyes peering in every direction, as soon as his eyes land on us, there is fire in his gray orbs and the door slams.

"Fucking Seriously" Gale Snaps.

To be continued...


	7. Hardship

Chapter 7

Hardship

(Peeta's POV)

The hatred in Gale's eyes was enough to make anyone tremble, but I held my ground and calmly rose from the couch, Katniss stands with me glaring hatefully as Gale shakes his head multiple times and slams her front door, rattling the glass window located at the top of the wooden door. He stands tall, muscles prodding from his arms and he wears a black pair of pants and a heavy winter jacket, snowflakes have begun to fall from the sky and they now litter his jacket, the first snow of the season has fallen and that means I got here just in time for the temperatures to drop.I don't want to fight with Gale, but the serious look he is giving me tells me it is unavoidable, it's coming and there is no stopping it. I wont hit him first I'll let him make the first move.

"What the fuck are you doing back here Mellark" Gale spits venomously.

"What the hell are you doing in here in my house Gale. I'm tired of you just walking in" Katniss growls.

"I wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier, I didn't mean to scare you or you're mother."

"I want you to get out" Katniss demands.

"And leave you alone with this mental case, not likely."

I sigh in irritation and control the bubbling hatred that boils inside me. The last thing I want to do was fall into an episode and attack my pregnant...What were Katniss and I anyway? Girlfriend and boyfriend? Friends with benefits? I don't know what we were to each other all I know is I want him to leave before things get bad and I do something I might regret. The best thing for all of us now if for Gale to leave and allow Katniss and I to talk more, without being interrupted like this. A fight can be avoided I just have to choose my words carefully, control my temper and emotions, but just looking at him makes me angry. The fact that he has been here with her this whole time during the pregnancy makes my blood boil. So many things could have gone on between the two of them while I was in the Capitol getting help. Thing went on between them in District 13 while I was getting the shit beat out of me so why wouldn't they have something going on between them now, judging by the hateful look on Katniss's face its become obvious that she is annoyed and angered by Gale's presence and so am I.

"I think you need to walk back out that door, when Katniss is done being angry at you I'm sure she will make an effort to come and find you. For now I think you should walk away" I suggest calmly.

My words only set him off "You want me to leave! Asshole I've been here this entire time taking care of her and the baby while you've played mental-case in some capitol psych ward. Why the fuck are you even back?" He demands.

"For my home, For Katniss and for my baby" I reply bravely. Gale takes a step forward, his eyes full of jealousy and rage, his fists are clutched at his side, its obvious that he wants to end me, and if he is willing to throw the first punch then I have no choice but to defend myself, as much as I hate fighting with another person I'm not going to sit there and become someone's punching bag, it's not going to happen, not again. I refuse to let someone beat on me.

"Gale, please leave, I need to talk to him, this is my house and you are not welcomed right now."

Gale ignores Katniss's pleas and begins pacing back and forth, mumbling angrily under his breath.. His hands are still clutched into fists, indicating he is ready for a fight. He hits me and that will be it I'll beat the shit out of him. I didn't come back here to be attacked by him, I came back for her and the need to start our relationship over again. I want to help her heal and in return she cane help me heal, and I can't do all of that with Gale breathing down our necks. We got enough on our plates as it is, with a baby on the way and nothing for it, Katniss's mom suggesting we give it up because both of us are too unstable to raise it, now Gale wanting to basically kill me because I came back into the picture.

"Mellark if you think for a second I'm going anywhere and allow you to kill her like you tried to in District 13 your crazy. She's pregnant and delicate right now and wouldn't be able to defend herself against you."

" What about what I want!" Katniss shouts, startling both of us, "What about what I want Gale. You can't try to make choices for me, I want him here, I want this baby to know her father."

"He's dangerous Katniss, Do you really want to put your child at risk"

He is really starting to piss me off to the extent that if he keeps running his mouth I might snap and be the first one to throw the punch. I have to stay calm and hope Katniss can talk him out of staying here much longer. I rub my temples in frustration and focus my positive thoughts on Katniss. It is very dangerous for me to be around both of them at the same time, just because most of what the capitol tortured me with was about the two of them being romantically involved, torturing me with their deep kisses and passionate lovemaking. _The baby could be his_, No I had to push that thought away and trust Katniss when she said that I was the only man she has ever made love to. Gale is inches away from us, the rage is still in his eyes, him and Katniss are having a screaming match, but I tune out what they are saying. My thoughts are consuming me and it's not until he screams in her face and places his hand on her shoulder to shake her do I snap out on him. I gently push her behind me, out of his sight and shove him hard, making him stumble and almost lose his balance.

"Get out of her face, I swear to god I'll beat the shit out of you if you lay another hand on her" I threaten him.

He moves forward and pushes me back "Don't touch me you piece of shit."

"Don't touch her" I hiss back.

"Both of you stop it" Katniss shouts from behind me, this stress and sadness she is feeling is unhealthy for the baby. I need to get Gale out of this house before he stresses her out even more.

"I'm sick and tired of you, Peeta. Fucking all she ever talked about was you while you were gone. Fuck I can't deal with you. I've done everything for her, came back to this shit-fucking hole, but nothing I do can compare to you" He turns to face Katniss, his cheeks red with anger "What is it Katniss He got a big dick? hmm, is that why you want to stay with him, or maybe you just like how he beats you, you into that kind of shit?"

She is in tears now.

"After everything I've done for you and you want to act like an ungrateful little bitch, and here I went as far as offering to raise that little bastard when its born."

That's it I had enough of him, I pull my fist back and as hard as I can I punch in square in the lip, cracking his skin, causing blood to slowly start to seep from his mouth. He's out of control, out of characters, this is a man who claims he loves Katniss with every fiber in his being, but yet turns around and calls her a bitch and our child a bastard, I'm not going to sit here and listen to his shit, I don't need it, my mind is fucked up enough without him agitating me any further. Gale wipes the blood from his lip with his index finger and glares at me. He charges, grunting and growling as he tackles me to the ground, my head hits the carpet and he is on me, punching me as hard as he can, left and right.

"Stop it" Katniss cries "Stop it please" She doesn't risk trying to get in the middle of us for fear one of us might end up hitting her or somehow damaging the baby. So she sits back helpless and watches us pound the shit out of each other, screaming and begging for us to stop hurting each other.

"I'll kill you Peeta" Gale growls and continues hitting me. "I should have killed you when you asked us to"

I gather all the strength I had and push him off of me, using my left leg to kick his stomach and chest as he goes to straddle me again. I scramble to my feet as quickly as possible before he can catch his breath, my knuckles smack him square in the left eye, causing it to immediately swell. His face connects with my fist over and over until he is almost as bloody and swollen as I am.

"If either of you love me at all you'll stop" Katniss pleas between her sobs, and I do stop punching the life out of Gale, but he doesn't. He is to consumed with anger to even listen to Katniss, taking advantage of my stillness he wraps his large arm around my neck and cuts off the air circulation, while using his other arm to punch my chest and hard as he can. I struggle, clawing at his hands, desperate for the oxygen that my brain has been denied.

"Stop Gale, You'll kill him."

"GOOD"

He has every intention of killing me and there is nothing Katniss or I can do about it. His strong grip around my neck is tight and unbreakable, I'm feeling light-headed, the room is spinning and I feel like I'm going to pass out, but then suddenly the air rushes back into my brain and I gasp, cough and fall to the ground, allowing the oxygen to flow back into my body. He stopped for some reason and that reason being my long-lost mentor Haymitch. He stands there with his own arm wrapped around Gale's neck, somehow he was strong enough to pull Gale off of me before he could kill me. Haymitch is strong for an older guy and I'm grateful that he just saved me from being choked to death. Gale thrashed against his grip but is never able to break it, all of his energy was wasted on me, he had none left to fight off Haymitch.

"Useless old man huh?" Haymitch chuckles into his ear.

"Gale Hawthorne you are out of control" Screams Katniss's mother Lynn. "I am so disappointed in you. Get him out of my daughter's house" Lynn orders Haymitch and he obeys and drags Gale out the front door, throwing him head first down the stairs and slamming the door behind him. Haymitch turns to me and shakes his head.

"First day back and already got into a fight, welcome back boy" Haymitch grins.

"Thanks for pulling him off me" I gasp out, my voice is still raspy from Gale's grip. I rise to my feet feeling like a truck had just hit me and turned to Katniss who was now sitting on the couch with one hand on the baby and the other against her head, her eyes were still filled with tears and I'm not sure whether or not I should go to her and try to comfort her or she was angry with me for hitting Gale first, I couldn't help it though he called her a bitch and he called my child a bastard. Lynn rushes over to Katniss and takes her in her arms.

"Katniss your long overdue for a check-up, we need to make sure the baby is ok" Lynn helps Katniss up from the couch and takes her upstairs leaving Haymitch and I alone to do some catching up. He like everyone else hasn't changed much in the last couple of months, although if you count the extra gray hair that has sprouted in his roots, other than that he was the same. I take a seat on the couch and take deep breaths, my breathing is deep and racing, emotions are sky-high, an Episode is likely if I don't get myself under control. I can feel the rage, sadness, jealousy, all bottled up inside me, ready to be let loose. Haymitch leans against the wall of the living room, studying every inch of me.

"Boy, Do you need to step out?" He questions.

"No, I'm fine as long as I don't have to see that piece of shit" I assure him. "The last thing I wanted to do was cause a fight, upset Katniss and get my ass-kicked. I didn't come here to cause drama, I needed to see her."

"It's a good thing you came back to, she needs you a lot"

"You weren't there for her were you?" I question shifting my gaze so I glance at Haymitch.

"No I really wasn't" He answers honestly "She had that dick-head which I regret leaving her with, and her recently her mother, but mainly I didn't come around because of Gale. That boy has hatred in him and its going to destroy him."

"I don't ever want him near her again. I'll do everything in my power to keep her from him."

"Peeta you need to be careful, that boy will do anything for her, even go as far as killing you" Haymitch warns,

"You really think he'd do that? I mean Gale is an asshole I get that but he knows how much Katniss loves me, it would break her if I died."

"Or Gale thinks she would fall right into his arms"

"That's unlikely, anyway I don't want to talk about this anymore. How are you?"

"Alive and kicking, this place is shit, we have nothing here, everything has to be ordered and dammit the alcohol takes forever to get here." Haymitch complains.

"I'm going to have to start ordering baking supplies and baby clothes. Things are going to be different around here."

"Good because I'm tired of seeing her depressed. I know I did a bad thing by leaving her to deal with this one her own, makes me a terrible guardian and mentor, but I, I have some problems of my own to deal with right now. It's good that you are back boy, maybe the two of you can finally get the healing process going, the only advice I can give you though is take it very slowly, them episodes you have are bad news and sweetheart is in a delicate state and so is your baby. I know this is a bad thing to say but one horrific episode from you can end it all" He warns.

That's not going to happen I'll make sure I am careful around her. Haymitch is right this isn't just about Katniss anymore it's about my unborn child too. The child I so desperately, but yet terrified to meet. I've always wanted a child even when I was younger, kids were always an option for me, but now that it is actually happened I'm terrified at the fact that I might be a bad father. How would I be able to explain to this baby about my condition or all the horrors that Katniss and I went through, I want to keep every horrible thing away from it starting with Gale. Determination to make sure this baby had everything I could ever possibly give it fills my body, it wasn't going to have the life that Katniss and I had, it was going to have a shit ton of clothes, food and toys to play with, I'll make sure of it. We had a long road ahead of us and a good place to start was focusing on our baby.

Katniss's mother comes down the stairs a couple of minutes later, looking worried and the first thought that comes to my mind is that the baby is unhealthy, something was wrong with it. Lynn sits next to me on the couch and clasp her hands together. I don't know if I'm ready for the news she is about to give me or how'll I'll react to it.

"Katniss is exhausted. She needs her rest" Lynn says.

"The baby?" I question.

"She is under so much stress that I'm shocked that she hasn't already miscarried in her first trimester. The baby can feel her stress and depression and it isn't good for it. We need to keep her happy and stress free, other than that it seems to have a very strong heartbeat, but I really would like her to see one of the more experienced doctors in 4, but I can't do that without contacting the Capitol and getting the presidents okay."

"She wouldn't want that and as the father I don't want that, cameras will be all over the place. Cant you have them come here?"

"It's complicated Peeta and frankly I don't think you have much of a say in the matter. You may be the father of the baby, but I am Katniss's mother and she is only 17 and has no idea what she is doing. Guidance is needed, We need to focus on delivering that baby safely and fluently, a doctor in 4 will do fine. I'm her mother I have a say in this. She is still in her teens, hardly an adult. Don't worry no suspicions will rise"

I stare at her, there is determination in her eyes. She is set on doing this, revoking Katniss's banishment to another District which will rise question in the capitol. I don't want them finding out anything about my child, I don't want their cameras, or crowds, none of it. Lynn was stupid in thinking she'd get away with moving Katniss without any suspicions, if I knew the Capitol which I did having spent months in their crowded streets, having cameras flash in my face and people surround me. I knew that one whiff of this pregnancy and they will swarm us.

To be continued...


	8. Explanations

I want to thank all of you for reading and taking the time to review, those things motivate me and I love hearing your thoughts. I have so many ideas for this story, we got a long ways ahead of us, please keep on reviewing and more importantly enjoy the story I'm doing my best :P, thank you.

Chapter 8

Explanations

(Peeta's POV)

Haymitch and I have a deep, long conversation that last well into midnight. I tell him everything that I've been through the last couple of months and he sits and listens in curiosity making comments and suggestions about how we can improve my behavior which I thought I did extremely well today in controlling myself from the Episode Gale almost forced me into, the anger and hatred were the key emotions I was feeling towards him, although I don't think anyone would miss him if I snapped his neck, problem solved, but I wasn't like that I didn't want to be violent and hateful and have thoughts like that burst into my head. How I didn't have a flashback today was a complete and total mystery to me, maybe Doctor Aurelius's treatment was helping me in some sort of strange way or maybe it was the fact that the friends I had in the Capitol were so very kind and supportive and would often make suggestions about my hijacking, Mycha and Ban were fun and amazing to hang out with and socialize with, deep down I felt terrible for what I did to them in return, leaving the Capitol in order to fix what was broken. I couldn't help it I loved Mycha and Ban to death; they helped me through some tough shit, but Katniss comes first she will always come first and now that she is pregnant and I'm 100% certain it is mine, I'm putting her and the baby before anyone else including myself. Haymitch gets tired and says its time for him to go home, that he will talk to me tomorrow. I think now that I am back in the picture he has some hope that she will get better. I'm still pissed at him for doing absolutely nothing for Katniss and the baby, being her legal guardian and the man she had trusted and in return all he did was sulk, and avoid Gale which I don't blame him on the avoiding Gale part.

Lynn comes around the corner after Haymitch leaves and stokes the fire, rubbing her hands together over the flames. I stay seated on the couch watching the flames come alive. She pokes and moves the wood around so the fire is able to catch it and warm the house up. Snow is still slightly falling from the sky, winter has arrived and the temperatures are sure to drop in the teens overnight. One thing I hate about District 12 is the freezing cold winters we had, it had gotten so bad that people had lost their limbs to frostbite, starved and froze to death, all the while The Capitol were cooped up in their cozy warm beds, its hard to forgive them for the life they had given us for so long and its hard to trust these new people in charge, although Paylor doesn't seem as corrupted as some of the others do. Not like District 12 had that large of a population anyway, it made me wonder how they were going to clear the debris and built new houses in the dead of winter. Were they going to wait 3 to 4 long months for spring to blossom and the weather to warm up, that'd be the smart thing to do, but only time could tell.

"I only want what's best for her" Lynn suddenly says bringing me out of my thoughts, I cast my blue eyes to the side so they can examine every inch of her. She is pretty for a middle-aged woman, her hair is blonde with a hint of gray, her deep, tormented ocean blue eyes stare back at me, this was the woman my father was in love with, the woman who didn't loved him back, who chose a coal-mines. In a way I'm glad that she didn't chose my father because I wouldn't be here and Katniss wouldn't be here. I don't know how I felt about Katniss's mother, a mixture of all the emotions, her and I never really sat down and had a heart to heart conversation. Did she even realize how much I loved her daughter, I'm willing to do anything for her. I still love Katniss and I don't think I ever stopped.

"I know you do, just like any mother would and I know your intentions are good but taking the baby away from her might hurt her even more. As the baby's father I can't let you take her. The doctor is District 4 sounds like a good idea, but you don't really have a say in where she goes or if she stays" I tell her.

"I'm her mother, Peeta, I gave birth to her. She is my daughter" Lynn frowns.

"The daughter that you abandoned, Did you ever once considering coming back here after the war and taking care of her, instead of hiding behind your medical papers in 4? Why didn't you come back to her? "

"How dare you. Do you know what its like to lose a child? I love Katniss she is all I have left" She responds sadly.

"No I don't know what its like to lose a child, but I know what it's like to lose your entire family in a blink of an eye, I know what its like to be beaten to the point where you want to die, to have your memories erased and tampered with. It hurts to lose someone who you love deeply, but you can't live your life in grief and ignore all the people who you have left around you. The people who love you and care about you, that suffers because you shun them out because of grief and sorrow, that is what you did to Katniss. Mrs. Everdeen I'm in love with her, truly, deeply in love with her; no amount of Capitol poison can take that away from me. I will tell you this right now, anyone who threatens her safety and the safety of my child will have to deal with me."

"And I'm thankful that Katniss has someone that loves her so much like you do, but you have to understand that after everything I have done to her she is still my daughter and I'm still willing to protect her. Even if its from someone she loves"

"Your saying I'd hurt her?"

"I'm saying its a possibility, she is delicate, you both are. Did you ever think maybe your not good for her."

As much as the words stings I nod my head "It crossed my mind once or twice."

"I don't hate you, I know what happened to you and what the capitol did to you was wrong, but your hijacking is deadly and that's something that should be on your mind."

"It is something that's on my mind. I know she can do better than me, I know she deserves a normal life, a normal lover and a normal mother, but its not happening, Katniss loves us in different ways and I think the last thing she would want is to replace either of us. I'm a terrible lover and your a terrible mother"

"I know I'm a terrible mother you don't have to tell me twice, We both might be bad for her, but you have to understand I loved her father so much and when he died I died with him. It's not easy to get over the death of the one you love." Lynn wipes the stray tears that have fallen down her face "I need to turn in for the night, you're welcome to have the spare bedroom." The warning glare in her eyes is an indication that she doesn't want me to sleep in her daughters bed.

"Thank you" I wont be sleeping in her spare bedroom or on the couch, I was going to brave it tonight and go to Katniss weather her mother likes it or not, I was going to take her small form into my arms and protect her and the baby from the nightmares that are sure to come tonight. Lynn takes one more look at me and then hikes up the stairs slowly, I wait a couple of minutes watching the fire wither and die down before going upstairs, creeping down the narrow hallway as quietly as possible, being careful not to alert her mother because if she find out that I am going to be sleeping in her daughter's bed tonight she'll put a stop to it immediately. Trusting myself in being around Katniss and sharing the same bed as her is going to be an issue, but I can control it, I controlled it today when Gale picked a fight with me so I wont have a problem controlling sleeping with her. I can do this.

She is the first door on the left, I tiptoe across the creaky floorboards and push open her door slowly peering inside the dark room. She is curled up in the middle of the bed and I'm not sure if she is sleeping or awake, it's too dark to tell if her chest is rising up and down, but as I get closer to the bed and close the door behind me she lets out an exhausted sigh and turns her body, the outline now faces me. She's awake and was waiting for me.

"Peeta" She breathes out in the dark room "Your staying with me?"

"You want me to?"

"Always, please" She begs tiredly. I stride across the room smoothly and swiftly, climbing into the right side of her bed as she moves over and allows me to lay down on my side. She immediately snuggles into my arms and nuzzled her nose into the crock of my neck, I wrap my arms around her and hold her, just like I've done so many times before. It feels so good to hold her and have her in my arms again. I lay down flat on my back and she places her head against my chest and draws patterns into my clothes, twisting and twirling the fabric that hides my skin.

"Hmm are you okay? He had not right to do what he did, Your not hurt right?" She asks worriedly.

"I'm fine" I assure her, aside from the lack of oxygen from Gales arms around my neck I'm perfectly fine, not a scratch on me beside the redness in my knuckles from hitting him in the face several times, something I don't regret doing. "I'm more worried about you, your mother said your stressed out and that stress isn't good for the baby." I move a hand that was around her and slide it over her stomach. To my surprise the baby starts kicking and Katniss starts groaning.

"She knows your touch and it amazes me because you haven't been back long, but still she knows who her father is" She lets out a quiet, breathy laugh "I'm so happy you came back into my life" She places a kiss against my clothed chest while I continued to rub our child and feel the tiny kicks beneath her skin and beneath my hand. I can do this I can control every ounce of this hijacking I never have to become violent ever again. We can do this we can heal and have this baby, rebuild the town, deal with Gale and her mother and move on with our lives.

"I'm not going anywhere again, but Kat we need to be careful and cautious. I don't want to end up hurting you or the baby."

"You wont hurt us, you have self-control I've seen it. You didn't flash back today while Gale picked that fight. You're fine" Katniss says confidently.

" I still need to be careful around you, I'm not 100% yet and I don't think I'd ever be full healed again."

I place a kiss on the top of her head and hold her as close and as tight as I dare. She sighs and leans into my touch, nothing in the world can ever take me away from her or my child, or Haymitch for that matter, they are my family and the only ones I have left, I cherish each one of them its the simple fact, although I'm trying to like Lynn, but the unintentional stress she is putting Katniss through makes it very hard to like her and I meant every word I said when I said I wouldn't let her or anyone take the baby. The baby still moves under my touch and its the most incredibly thing I have ever felt in my entire life. To feel something so tiny and so fragile move against the palm of your hand, knowing fully well that she is yours and nothing will ever change that. We created this life together, its apart of me and apart of her.

"What did you do while you were in the capitol?" Katniss questions curiously.

"Besides the meetings and appointments with Aurelius I made some friends. Their parents owned a fancy coat shop, but they were nice to me, not stuck up like the rest of the capitol citizens. Help me make my way around the city, hung out, made me feel like a normal teen for once." I explain.

"What were their names?"

"Mycha and Ban." I left out the part that Mycha had a serious thing for me, but I was forced to turn her down because of my love for Katniss. I chose Katniss over my capitol friends something that I had to do and besides their was never a choice to be made to begin with. We are silent for a couple of minutes, the only sounds that filled the air were our breathing.

"I love you Peeta" Katniss says finally breaking the silence.

"I love you too" I return.

She slides her hands from my chest, to my cheeks, cupping them and gently lifting her head and placing her lips against mine. We pick up where we left off on the couch, I kiss her deeply and passionately and she threads her fingers through my hair, giving it a gentle tug, fingers scratching my scalp. Her scent and taste are so intoxicating that I have to control myself and not push her into the mattress and take her. Sex was not an option between the two of us right now, not until the baby was out. I couldn't risk something happening to her or him, hell kissing Katniss and holding her like this was a danger. I really wanted to know the gender of the baby, but there was no way of knowing unless we except Lynn's offering in talking to the government and getting her exile revoked. Her pregnancy hormones must be getting the best of her because she holds me tightly in her arms and shifts so she is laying on her back and I am hovering slightly over her and the baby bump. Our lips never break contact and she must think that's an indication that I don't want to stop, so she runs her hands from my hair to the buttons on my shirt, flicking open three before I finally pull away and stop her, gently taking both of her hands in mine and holding them gently.

"What?"

"I can't do it, we can't, not now when your most vulnerable. We shouldn't even be kissing" I reject.

" Yes we can, you're not hurting me" she breathes out and goes to kiss me again, I let her peck me a couple of times then I move my head to the side, placing a kiss on her cheek. I lay flat against the bed and she sighs in defeat, turning her back to me. The rejection upsets her but its something that needed to be done. Take it very slowly those were Haymitch's words and mine. I had no choice in the matter, the hijacking was extremely dangerous for both of us.

"Katniss, don't get upset" I shift my body so my chest is pressed against her back and my face is nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She is crying I can tell by the way her body shivers and her shoulders slowly rise and fall rapidly. I blame it on pregnancy hormones, I kiss her neck tenderly and comfortingly, "I'm not saying never, just not now."

"I know it's just I can't stop thinking about that night, when you held me, kissed me, its like nothing else in the world matter except the two of us. You were hijacked then and didn't do anything to me, maybe it's not as bad as you think it is. We can get away with it" She turns so she is on her back and lets out a discomforting sigh, her hand resting on her baby bump "Can we at least try?"

I shake my head, not giving in "I can't, Not with the baby"

"It wont hurt her."

"Katniss" I warn her calmly as she leans over and begins to kiss my neck, up to my earlobe and cheeks, hovering just over my lips, its hard to resist her considering I want that too, that night when we conceived our baby was one of the best nights of my entire life. I loved everything about it. Best night of my entire human existence.

"Please Peeta" She begs as she continues to leave hot wet kisses, sucking hard on my neck and creating those tiny red bumps. "Please."

"No I want to but no" I reject softly.

She sighs in irritation and flops back down on her side of the bed.

"Just let me hold you tonight, protect you and our baby, please" I begged.

"Fine." She lets herself once again be gathered in my arms, her head against my chest and my arms wrapped securely around her. She is irritated at me for not giving into her and making love to her, as much as I wanted to make love to her I'm happy with my choice in saying no to her, even thought it was a tough thing to do. I want her in that why I do, but I need to make sure that I don't do anything that jeopardizes her and the baby, last time we made love so many murderous thoughts floated through my head.

"Don't think I don't want you" I whisper when I feel her begin trembling with tears again "I want you, Katniss, but I got to make sure I don't do anything that's going to harm you."

"We were fine last time I don't get why you wont try." She sniffles.

"We weren't fine last time, I wanted to kill you several times last time." I explain. "Baby steps Katniss, just except the fact that I'm here and I'm holding you and I love you, I came back to you and we are going to have a beautiful baby, our home is going to be rebuilt and we are going to deal with whatever is thrown at us. Okay" She relaxes in my arms and nods her head multiple times, I lean down and give her a long lingering kiss, probably making it worse on her, but I pull away before we can really get into it. "I love you always, the Capitol never took that away from me, never. Just remember that."

"I love you too Peeta, so much" She replies.

I hold her for the rest of the night, she falls asleep before I do, into a calm and peaceful slumber with her head and one arm on my chest. We definitely had a long road ahead of us and it was going to be far from easy.

To be continued...


	9. It's a start

Sorry for late chapter had to go back to work after a week off :(, kind scrounging for time. I'll try to update as much as I can.

Chapter 9

It's a start

(Katniss's POV)

It was nearing noon when I decided to pull my large body out of bed, the spot next to me was cool and empty meaning Peeta has been up for a while. It was disappointing waking up alone but he probably left me early in the morning so my mother wouldn't suspect anything. I don't see what was the big deal about him sleeping with me last night was, he was so gentle and caring when he held me and chased away the nightmares last night . It was the best sleep that I had in quite a while, even the baby didn't succeed in waking me with her constant kicking. I looked at down at my large bulge, rubbed it once, planting my feet flat against the carpet. I pad across the room over to the dresser pulling out the largest clothes that I had, which I only had a large pair of pants and baggy t-shirt that I always wore since none of my other clothes fit anymore and that upsets me, my father's hunting jacket is too small on me, my hunting boots are tight considering my feet are swelled and swollen. Like I need the boots anyway I really haven't left the house in months, depression, bad memories and the fear of having this baby all consumed me and prevented me from venturing out into District 12 which was a distant graveyard now.

I waddled down the hallway slowly, stopping at the last door on the right, flicking on the lights of the bathroom. I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and cringe. I look absolutely horrible, bags were under my eyes, my hair was sticking up in every direction, my hair was not used to being in the usual braid that I once put it in, I let it stick up in every direction for so long. I haven't done much these past couple of months to keep up my appearance. As my prep team would probably say 'I really let myself go', The squeals that would come from them if they caught sight of my damaged body would most likely be loud and horrifying. I'm not sure if they would be happy or horrified from my prodding stomach and the hideous stretch marks. I run the bath water lukewarm and peel my nightgown over my head and toss it to the tiles. I glance back into the mirror and my confidence only worsens. I look so bad naked, between the scars, the swollen legs, the stretch marks, not to mention I'm incredibly fat and horrifying to look at, not that I ever was pretty to begin with. I'm so ugly on the outside that the need to place a bag over my head becomes a need. I know I should have higher self-esteem and confidence, but I don't and its because of my reflection in the mirror. I'm really glad now that I didn't have sex with Peeta last night, I don't want him to see me like this. would probably make him sick.

The water feels good against my skin as I submerge myself into the tub, I drawl out a sigh and let the warmth engulf me. it doesn't take me long to wash every inch of my body, scrub my scalp and carefully lift myself from the watery depths of the tub. I throw on the clothes from my dresser and even take the time to towel dry my wet hair and braid it, something I haven't done in months. The baby begins her daily rounds of kickball with my stomach and I groan and place a hand on the bump, rubbing and soothing her, but she doesn't stop and the kicks suddenly turn painful and I find myself clutching the edge of the sink. She has never kicked me this hard or this painful before, it really hurts. I take a deep breath and will the pain away as best I can, but it hurts so bad that I'm immobilized by the sink.

"Come on now settle down" I gasp out and rub her.

She continues to kick and hit me so hard that the soreness and pain in my body grows. I can't stand it anymore I don't know what's going on or what I'm going to do, but I can't stand here in pain, so I do the only thing I can think of and call out to my mother, hopefully she can hear me from wherever she is in the house. I call out to her for several minutes before the bathroom door finally opens, revealing my mothers tired features. She takes in my hunched position over the sink and her instincts as a healer kick in.

"What's wrong?" She asks in a worried tone.

"The baby is...kicking me so hard...it really hurts" I pant out as her tiny jabs and nudges increase my pain.

My mother's worried expression fades and she grabs me by the arm and gently pulls me away from the sink "Honey that's normal, means the baby is running out of room, she growing. I had horrible pains when you moved, even worse with Prim. Take it easy." She explains

I take another deep breath "Where's Peeta?"

My mother sighs as I say his name "He's over at Haymitch's house, said there was some things he needed to discuss with his mentor, very secretive about what he was up too. We had a nice talk last night after you went to bed, I think the boy has good heart and all, but..." She trails off and bites her lip, I know she is about to say something that is going to piss me off and I don't want to hear it. I brush past her, out the door into the hallway where I waddle my way down the stairs, taking each step as carefully as I can, my mother follows behind me, making sure I don't lose my balance and trip, her hovering over me is very tiring.

"Katniss we need to talk about the situation at hand" She says as we reach the bottom stairs.

"We did enough talking, I don't like anything that you have to say. This is my baby mother, Peeta is who I am in love with and the father of my child. I appreciate your suggestions but this is my responsibility not yours. I don't care if you think I'm to unstable to raise this baby, its mine and nobody is taking it from me. You can help me deliver I'll be more than grateful, but you are not getting the Capitol involved"

" If this is your responsibility Then take responsibility and transfer to another District let me call them! Honey if we say no press their going to have to obey our wishes." Mom snaps.

"No I don't want them near my baby!" I snap back. "We've been over this 100 times mom, the answer is no."

"What will it take to convince you to do this? The baby wont survive here and you know it. The rebuilding has only just begun, we have very little population, its silly to stay here."

"I know your probably right, but I'm stuck here and honestly its Haymitch that is my legal guardian not you. He has a say in this. I want to talk to him"

Mom sighs and rubs her temples in deep frustration, her blue eyes peer at me and there is nothing but sadness. The behind us opens, allowing the winter breeze to enter the house and cause goose bumps to break across my skin. My eyes lock with Peetas and the frustration that I was feeling towards my mother has vanished and is replaced by passion and love, images of him holding me last night, protecting me from the darkness fills my head. Haymitch trails in behind me, giving me a soft smile before shutting the door behind him, trapping the cold air outside. Peeta bravely strolls up to me and gives me a warm greeting kiss on the lips, despite my mothers murderous glares. Now that everyone was here it was time to discuss things that needed to be discussed, choices that needed to be made.

"Good morning, Lynn" Peeta greets warmly.

My mother brushes him off and stalks off into the kitchen in order to fetch our guests some lunch and a beverage. Peeta weaves our hands together while Haymitch approaches me, studying me careful with his wide gray eyes. Now that Gale is hardly in the picture Haymitch comes around more often and for that I am truly grateful. We all huddle in the living room, Peeta and I sit on the couch while Haymitch takes the recliner and pops open his flask full of what I'm guessing whisky, taking a large swill in the process. No of us say anything for the longest time and glances are being exchanged between Peeta and Haymitch it's almost as if one is waiting for the other to start talking.

Peeta breaks that silence "Sleep well?" He asks me tightening the hold he has on my hand.

"Yeah I did, wasn't until morning did I become uncomfortable, the other side of the bed was cold" I say the last part of my sentence in a mere whisper so my mother who is carrying a tray of sandwiches and beverages into the living room, wont here or find out that Peeta held me and chased anyway my nightmares. She would say it was an irresponsible thing to do and she would not have it again. It's so irritating how she thinks she can control everything that goes on in my life. She is the one who didn't want me, abandoned me when dad died and when Prim died. I was the last thing she had left in this world and all she seemed to care about was this baby, that's all she has been focused on since she got here. She doesn't care at the fact that I'm suffering at the lost of Prim just as much as she is or the fact that I'm in love with a man who was beaten and tortured, and it's not his fault that he falls into episodes or has rare flashbacks. She looks at the negativity in life, the losses, pain and agony because that's all she knows, that's all life gave her.

"Haymitch, I need to discuss something privately with you, please" Mom says setting the tray of food on the coffee table.

"What about"

She looks between Peeta and me, it obviously has something to do with the two of us and our baby, that's the only thing that concerns her. Haymitch narrows his eyes at her, studying her stance, hand on her hip and a serious look on face. He remains seated recliner and takes another drink of his flask, I'm unsure if its alcohol in the flask or juice, if I know Haymitch and I do I'm guessing its booze. My mother looks disgusted as Haymitch drinks his beverage, she taps her foot against the ground impatiently.

"Well, May I speak to you in private" Mom ask irritated.

Haymitch empties the flask and lets out a large burp, "Whatever it is you have to say you can say it in front of my kids"

She glares hatefully at him as the words fall from his mouth "Excuse me your kids. I don't care what you do with him, but that is my daughter and I was going to ask you to so kindly to give up your guardianship over her. I'm her real parent not you"

"That's not going to happen, Especially since you have been talking about taking Sweethearts baby off her"

Mom snaps "I'm not trying to be the bad guy here so stop making me out to be one. "

"Stop acting like it then" I growl "All you care about is my baby, you don't give two shits about me." Mom paces back and forth and points a threatening finger at me. She was usually the calm type of woman, but right now she was angry and there has only been a handful of times where I've witnessed her anger, it is a rare thing to see my mother angry, but she is human and it's a human emotion.

"Don't you use that kind of language with me young lady. I'm still your mother!"

I get up from the couch despite Peeta's gentle tug on the hand in protest. I come face to face with my mother, rage bubbling inside me as I stand tall and ready to defend myself and my family. I know she is right on one thing she is my mother and that can never change, but the harm she is causing has to stop. She has to realize she has no say in what we do.

"Your so irresponsible Katniss." She turns and hisses at Peeta "You are two, both of you. How are either of you going to take care of this baby or yourselves?" She turns and points at Haymitch who sits in the chair with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face "This drunk fool is no good to either one of you, all he does is drink his life away you want your baby around that. God, I'm o disgusted with all three of you. I'm so disappointed in you Katniss, I thought you were better than this."

"What exactly are you implying?" I can feel the hot tears that are one the way, but I try my best to hold them back "Might as well get everything off your chest"

"Having sex and getting pregnant, then not even considering the best option for the baby. There wouldn't be a baby if you were a responsible adult. You guys are not ready."

"It's to late and I don't regret anything. I had sex with him..." I point to Peeta, his cheeks are a pinkish color as he takes in my words, but I don't care about his embarrassment, anger and sadness has taken over me, and I can feel the hot tears stream down my face as I speak to my mother in a shouted tone of voice "Because I love him and it just happened. If I could go back in time knowing the results I'd still have sex with him and get pregnant, and I would regret it"

"Mrs. Everdeen, please we need to stop this conversation. I don't want her stressed out anymore." Peeta begs.

"Listen The boy is right, I don't want to upset sweetheart anymore that she already is. Now boy take her upstairs while I talk to Mrs. Everdeen" Haymitch orders gently.

Peeta stands from the couch and takes me by the arms, leading me away from my mother and towards the oak stairs. Haymitch and my mother start to talk by the time we reach the top of the stairs and I can no longer hear what they are saying, its nothing but muffled to me. He leads me into the bedroom and gently sets me down on the bed. Tears are still running down my face which he gently brushes them away with his soft fingers, I take the palm of his hand against my cheek and lean into his touch.

"I want us to call, Paylor" Peeta suggests calmly.

I snap my head away from his palm and look up at him "What?!"

"As much as I hate admitting it, your mothers right. Katniss I went on a walk into town this morning. Its worse than you can ever imagine. The Victor Village are the only stable building we have. District 12 is in bad shape."

I stare at him in disbelief "You want the capitol near our baby"

"NO I don't want them near my daughter or son, but I don't want you to give birth here; it wont end well"

"I don't need hi-tech medical attention to have this baby. A lot of women give birth at home, its a natural thing"

"At what cost, a lot of women die from childbirth. I want you to be as comfortable as possible when you give birth to her, I don't want anything to happen to either of you. A lot can happen. I love you and I don't want you to die from this"

He's right a lot can happen to me and the baby during labor. Many babies were born in District 12 where the mother didn't survive, it was an upsetting thing that had frequently. He is afraid that its going to happen to me that's why he is siding with my mother.

"I love you." He says. "Please do this for me. There wont be cameras I promise. I'll make up something, just lets talk to her. You can trust her."

I think long and hard about what I am going to do. If there was a way without the Capitol knowing I was pregnant, then maybe we did have a shot at bringing my baby into this horrid world safely. Apart of me doesn't want to give in, just because of my mother. In all honesty I don't trust her at all, if I go downstairs and tell her Peeta and I were thinking about contacting Paylor, not to get banishment revoked but to relocate to a different District which I'm assuming will be District 4, since my mother was studying her medicine there. District 4 doesn't seem like a bad idea, the sandy white beaches and the warm temperature, it was farther to the south which meant temperatures would be a lot warmer. Could this work? This is what I've fought so hard to avoid, the last thing I want to do is have them figure out I'm pregnant and broadcast it all over Panem. Star-cross lovers are with child.

"I mean it Peeta, cameras come and that's it. I don't want anyone trying to interview me, I don't want anyone near me or the baby. I want it excluded as possible."

"Again I'll make a lie"

"I've fought with my mother so much over this. Why can't we just order clothes and baby things, have them shipped here?"

"Katniss I know you hate what your mother is saying and I'm personally not a fan of her, but District 12 is in real bad shape, these are the only living quarters that are livable." Peeta says sadly. "Everything else is gone, You've seen it right?"

I nod my head "Yes I have I know I'm being selfish, but I'm so scared Peeta. The cameras, the Capitol, Mockingjay, Your hijacking and Prim. I'm not ready to handle it all. I'm a disaster, depressed, crazy, suicidal."

"Are you all those things?" He questions looking unconvinced.

"Not suicidal, but crazy and depressed yes." I admit. "the crazy girl who shot district 13 president that's what I am"

Peeta shakes his head "No you're not you are Katniss Everdeen, strong, brave, loving girl who would risk her life to protect the people she loves. That's why I know your going to be a wonderful mother."

"I doubt it but thanks for the compliment"

"Hey, no problem its true"

He takes me in his strong arms and I inhale his heavenly baker's scent and sigh. He press on hand against my stomach and the other around my waist. She moves as usual under his touch and a smile spreads across his face. He loves feeling her kick, its become his addiction. I stare up into his eyes and nothing but loves fills my entire body. I love this man so much and he is going to be the father of my child. Peeta's blue eyes connects with my gray ones and he grins as the baby bumps and nudges his hand. I lean forward and kiss him, putting all my fears and doubts I have into the kiss. I know I should be angry at him for suggesting we call Paylor, but honestly I'm not, as long as no cameras or media follow, this is a large risk I am taking and I'm not sure whether I'm making the right one or the wrong one. We're not even sure if she will allow us to switch Districts, I don't know what's going to happen and I know Peeta would never allow me to do something if he thinks it is going to be threatening or wrong. I move my lips against his, not a care in the world, it's just the two of us, no mother, no Gale or Haymitch, nobody but us and that's how I want it to be.

To be continued...


	10. Discussions

Chapter 10

Discussions

(Katniss's POV)

I'm still having seconds guessing on my decision to call Paylor and request to carry out the rest of my banishment to a different District. Peeta's explanations for agreeing with my mother were far more understandable than my mothers. Him and Haymitch had a longer conversation about it and both seem to think that District 12 was unhealthy for a newborn baby, and they were probably right, with winter coming it was going to make the rebuilding ten times harder than usual, no stone worker from 2 will want to work in zero degree weather, it would be inhumane anyway to make them bust their asses. My mother and Haymitch were still downstairs discussing whatever it was that my mother was trying to convince him to do which probably was make her legal guardian over me instead of Haymitch. I would rather have him as my guardian than her to begin with, its sad that I would choose my mentor over my mother, but she's not the same as she once was, the pain has corrupted her, maybe the desperate need to become a mother again is chewing away at her, maybe she wants another shot at this that's why she is so persistent in convincing me to give her rights over the baby. She wanted a second chance because she failed Prim and I, no way in hell is she going to get ahold of my baby.

Peeta and I sit upstairs on the soft bed, I sit Indian style with my back against the headboard and unconsciously stroking my large belly while Peeta stretches out across the bed with his hands behind his head, his eyes locked on me and his legs crossed. Talking with him makes me feel so much better, for a split second it makes me forget the trauma that both him and I faced. We spent most of the afternoon talking about our past lives before the games and before the rebellion, before I even knew he existed, well of course I always knew he existed, he was the boy with the bread, the boy who saved my life when I was a young kid. He fed me and my family, and I never even thanked him for it or acknowledged him, I wanted to, but my social skills weren't the best when I was younger so I guess it never happened.

"I never thanked you for the bread" I mumble taking a piece of his thin blonde hair between my fingers and rolling it between the two. "It was so long ago and I never thanked you or spoke to you until the games. I was so selfish back then. "

"I wanted to talk to you too after I threw you the bread, but I just never had the courage to do so. My oldest brother Bing would always call me a coward when it came to you. He went as far as telling me if I didn't get a move on that he was going to snatch you up, and then one day I saw the two of you in the hallway, exchanging small chatter, it was only for a brief second, but I always wondered what he told you that day."

I think hard for a moment, not sure of the memory that is plaguing his mind at the moment, but then it comes back to me all at once. I giggle and run my fingertips through his locks, scratching his scalp lightly "I dropped my books on the ground, he picked them up and handed it to me, then commented on how your father really loved my squirrels, and that the meals they brought to the table were delightful. He said that he was impressed that I managed to shoot them through the eye every time. The last thing he said was 'my little brother loved it the best'." I giggle again and place a kiss against his forehead "You were shy weren't you"

"Yes I was" He nods.

"You took a beating for me when we were kids" I move my hand and slide it down the side of his face so it lays flat against his cheek, imagines of the bruise that once settled there from his mother filled my mind and more guilt consumes me at the fact that I have never thanked for saving me and taking a beating. I place a kiss on the invisible bruise, something that I should have done a long time ago "Was your mother that bad?" The question is out of my mouth before I can stop it, it was his personal business and I shouldn't be priding.

Peeta sighs and sits up from his laying position, crossing his legs so that he to is sitting Indian style and is facing me. "My mother...was a very angry person" He begins, but his voice is soft and it's almost like he hates remembering things about his mother.

"It's okay I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay I can talk about it. She was angry most of the time with the life that we had, which in all honesty was better than certain parts of the District. We had so much bread and pastries but we were never allowed to eat anything fresh, just the stuff that never sold and became out-of-date. She'd flip out on one of my brothers or on me if something went bad and we'd get smacked really hard. I'm not going to lie it seemed like I got hit the most because no matter what I did it was all wrong, I was doing everything wrong. She would hold my hand over the stove when I burnt something, hit me with a rolling-pin when I shaped the dough wrong or added the wrong things to it. She had to inspect everything that my brothers and I bake and if she didn't like it we'd get punish, it was the same punishment every time. For Bing she'd make him lay his hand on the table, take the rolling-pin and hit him over and over, while yelling these hands will develop the perfect product."

I never thought I can hate someone as much as I hate his mother now. What kind of sick human being does that to her boys. "What did she do to you?" I ask the question feeling anger and rage begin to bubble, how can anyone hurt him like that, his own mother abused him. He didn't deserve it, Peeta was a kind-hearted human being. The kindest man I have ever met in my entire life. This boy lost a leg for me, protected me in the games, gave me hope and convinced me to live when I didn't see a reason to, gave me the best first sexual experience of my life, something I most definitely wanted to do again, but couldn't until the baby was out. Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread, the best man in my life.

Peeta bites his lip "She would hit me over the head, tell me to use my brain and then she'd lock me in a closet for hours, sometimes I'd fall asleep in there, sometimes I'd be relieved that I was in there, it meant that I didn't have to be around her. I didn't have to hurt anymore"

"Can we agree on something right here and now" I plea, my gaze locked on his.

"Sure." He nods, waiting to hear what I have to say.

I lean forward to take hold of one of his hands, bringing it up to my stomach and forcing him to gently lay it flat against my prodding stomach, both my hands cover his and I peer up at him through my long lashes "Lets not ever lay a hand on her."

"Agreed, no matter what she does we will take action a different way. I don't want to hit her or you for that matter" His mind is going to the hijacking I just know it. He goes to pull his hand away from my stomach and as he does I lean forward and place my lips on his, a sign that I believe he will never hurt her or me in any way ever again.

"She is going to have such a good daddy"

"Your so sure its a girl?" He grins cockily.

"Not a hundred percent, just call it a hunch." I reply.

"Do you want a girl?"

I shrug my shoulders "I don't know what I want, A happy, healthy baby, one that takes after her daddy"

He smiles softly and rubs my stomach gently, passion swells in my body as he does and I thank the lucky stars that I have him here with him. I love him deeply and passionately, what I need is my boy with the bread, the dandelion in the spring. How I ever even considered Gale as an option was a mystery to me, he has nothing but rage and anger deep within his soul and I don't need that. I don't need his temper or his hurtful words. I need Peeta in every which way. Peeta leans forwards and captures my lips, his hand cuffs the back on my head and I can feel his soft fingertips gliding through my hair.

"I love you" I tell him as we break apart. He doesn't respond, just cuffs both sides of my face, drawling my lips back to his. We kiss passionately again and before I know it I'm being pressed gently against the mattress with him hovering overtop of me, his lips are the only thing that touches me. I grip the base of his neck, wanting him to deepen the kiss, deepen it as far as it can go. The puckering of our lips as they move together and the soft creaks of the bed as we shift are the only sounds that can be hear in the room. He hovers over me on his arms and I can feel the strain as I move my hand over his bicep and forearm, he is getting tired of holding himself up on his arms and I know he is about to pull away and hover off of me, but I wasn't ready for his lips to vanish, the urge for his body against mine becomes great.

"You can lay on me, gently" I breath out between kisses. "You wont hurt me"

"The baby" His eyes flickers down between the two of us, biting his lip in worry "We shouldn't be..." I cut him off by bringing my lips back onto his.

"Shush, your fine, Now kiss me." I assure him, reconnecting our lips, despite his hesitation. I'm just about to try to pull his body down so at least some of his weight is being taken off his arms, but we don't get that far as the bedroom door opens and my mentor stumbles in, he takes in the sight and chuckles like a madmen, shaking his head as he comes fully inside my room.

"Isn't that what got you two into this mess. Teenage hormones. Your lucky it was me and not your mother. She'd have a cow and god Katniss, that woman is giving me a headache." Haymitch comments.

Peeta rolls off of me and returns to his Indian style position on the bed. I sit up a little too so I can get a fully view of Haymitch's cocky grin he is giving the both of us. Haymitch doesn't care that he has interrupted the passion that had begun to brew between us, he doesn't care that he just embarrassed the crap out of me, Peeta I'm not so sure if he is embarrassed or not,

"What do you want Haymitch" Peeta asks in irritation, obviously he wasn't ready to stop kissing me either.

"To see if you guys agreed on what you and I talked about, boy" Haymitch replies.

This spikes my curiosity and I look between the two of them in wonder. I could only guess it has something to do with the request in switching Districts. Deep down I was nervous with the results , I wonder is Paylor was going to ask questions and start poking her nose around in my business. What would the president of Panem think about her Mockingjay becoming pregnant. She would probably have so many cameras shipped over to 12, wanting interviews, She'd exploit the baby to the world, sending out a message saying if the star-crossed lovers feel safe enough to conceive then everyone was safe under her control.

"I mean guys I don't want no cameras, They can't know that I'm pregnant or else I wont be able to handle it." I warn gently.

"Don't worry I'll think of something" Peeta says softly.

"Yeah" Haymitch nods his head in agreement "The boys best quality is running that mouth of his, keeps you in line now does it"

"Actually he's not just good at running his mouth" I grin and Haymitch rolls his eyes drastically while Peeta blushes and peers over at me, a small smile begging to spread on his face. I know for a fact he wants the same thing I do, but his stubbornness makes it impossible. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze and then turns back to Haymitch who popped open the lid on his flask and is taking a large gulp of it.

"One more thing. Katniss, Now don't get pissed at me for suggesting this or bringing this up but..." He pauses for a moment making sure he has my full attention "A certain someone who we all know and hate has been hanging out in one of the empty houses. Now I'm not saying you have to, but I strongly suggest you do something before the boy does something stupid"

I frown in realization "Really you want me to talk sense into Gale? Who not only has yelled at me, Picked a fight with Peeta, but let jealousy consume him." I stare at Haymitch in disbelief. How could he suggest something like that. My life was better without Gale trampling all over it and making it complicated, but now here is my mentor, one of the men that dislikes Gale as much ass I do, suggesting that I go and talk to him after everything he has put me through.

"Hear me out. I hate the prick a lot, that's why I didn't bother coming around that guy is a dick, but recently he has been slinking about the empty lot, I don't know where he got the booze, but bottles litter that front porch and I'm pretty sure he has slept in that house without blankets, pillows or a bed. I pity him more than anything. Baker here did steal his warm cozy house."

"What are you saying? You want me to make up with him" I hiss angrily.

Peeta buts in "I don't want him near her or the baby"

"He was your best friend at one time Katniss. All I'm saying is there is something off about him and you might want to find out what"

"Gale can fend for himself. He killed my sister for one and that's unforgivable, you stayed away because of him, and Gale and Peeta can't be in the same room together,"

"Look Katniss, it'd be nice if we can fix the problem between the three of you. No more stress on you and no more whimpering around in the empty lot for him. He is staying for you, he hasn't left yet because he thinks there is still hope"

"I love him" I say and point to Peeta "Gale is nothing to me"

"I know I know. I'm just saying it will be good to fix whatever it is that's broken between you two, it will make life easier is all. Now I got to go you know where I live if you need anything. I'll be calling Effie first to tell her the big, big, big news if that's okay with you."

Peeta cuts in again "I want to call and tell her. Effie has stuck by me the entire time I was in the Capitol. She was like a mother to me."

Haymitch simply nods his head in understand and slinks out of the bedroom without even a goodbye. It's a good thing to because I am simply really irritated at him for suggesting I go and seek out the man who is consumed with Rage and Jealousy, Why would Haymitch even consider that, he should know as well as anyone that Gale isn't an easy person to talk to or convince. I'd be wasting my time in trying to fix things with him, besides he has left me alone these past couple of days, stayed in the shadows drowning his sorrows in that beer bottle who cares what he does. I truly hate him for everything he has put me through, no way I'm going to seek him out just to go through hell again.

"Your distracted" Peeta points out, he takes me in his strong arms and gently forces us against the mattress, his arms are around me and my head is across his chest and my one arm is slung across his chest as I draw random shapes into the fabric and inhale his heavenly, intoxicating scent that is like a drug to me.

"Why the hell would he suggest we mess with Gale?" I question.

I feel Peeta shrug "Maybe Gale is in bad shape or something, it has to be something serious if Haymitch would suggest we check on him and fix things with him. I hate him to for not taking a hint, but he was your best friend Katniss."

"Was, after everything that has happened how am I to forgive him?"

"It's hard I know, but Gale is your oldest friend and he was there for you when I couldn't be. I know he is an asshole but maybe that can change if you want it to. It'd be nice having a hunting partner back right?"

"I'm pregnant now so that means no hunting." I frown.

Peeta kisses the top of my head and then my lips "You can be so stubborn sometimes." I open my mouth to say something but he kisses me and soon we pick up right where we left off before Haymitch had barged into the room. He presses me into the mattress and I curl my hand into his hair, deepening our passionate kissing. God I really want to have sex with him, but its impossible he wont make love to me until the baby is out, even then I'm not so sure he will have the courage to succeed in doing it. His hijacking is a dangerous thing and I'm not looking forward to witnessing one of his episodes. Who knows maybe I wont have to witness it, maybe he is better and we never have to worry about his flashbacks again. If only it were that easy.

To be continued...


	11. Call me

Chapter 11

Call me

(Peeta's POV)

The sound of Effie's shrills of excitement fills my ears and I pull the phone away from my ears so I don't go deaf. A million questions come afterwards Names, gender, how far along she was, then the concern of raising the baby in 12, it seemed like everyone had a problem with District 12 these days and who could blame them. The condition was unbelievably horrible. Effie goes on and on about the baby and how this gives her an excuse to spend some of her moldy money, I tell her she doesn't have to get anything for my son or daughter but she insist and there is no arguing with her once her mind is made up. I have a feeling deep down she is about to spoil the crap out of my child. I think everyone will once the baby is born and is into the world. I missed Effie so very much and my mind goes back to the heart-filled goodbye we had in the Capitol. I had hugged her and thanked her for everything she did for me, Effie Trinket was truly like my other mother and I kind of wished she was my real mother instead of adopted. She would be the perfect parent to a child, except for the possibility of her dressing the kid up in fluffy pink, furry clothing from the capitol, I'm horrified at the thought.

_"I'm so happy for the both of you, this certainly is big, big, big news_" She comments on the other end of the line "_It's a good thing you came back when you did_."

"I know, and I feel awful for leaving her alone, I should of been there in the beginning, but I wasn't "

"_Now that kind of talk isn't allowed. What's important is you have a beautiful baby on its way. Your going to be a father, this is exciting news. How is Katniss doing anyway?"_

"Her mother is putting so much stress on her; with talks of actually offering to take the baby off our hands. She honestly thinks we wont be able to handle it. I just want them to go away and leave her alone?" I sigh, a frown is in my voice.

_"Them_?" Effie questions.

"Gale is here to, although its been a couple days since we have seen him. The man certainly decided to give me a warm welcome. There is so much going on here I can barely stand it, its a miracle that I haven't had an episode."

"_You have control my boy. You wont hurt her or the baby. Remember Aurelius's advice; emotional control_" She says with confidence. How she has so much faith in me is unknown, I'm like a ticking time bomb its only a matter of time before I go off and hurt the person I love most which is Katniss. Was it really wise for me to be here, around her while she was pregnant and vulnerable like this, probably not, but my deep love I have for her makes it impossible to stay away from her, and if I do end up leaving her in some way it will cause her more heartache and that prick Gale will slink his way back into the house confusing her even more. I hate Gale more than anything, aside from the Capitol of course. During the games I tried so hard to like him, tolerate him because he was Katniss's best friend and she cared about him so much that I put the jealousy aside and controlled my rage towards him. When he was whipped in the square I offered to look after him for her, everything I do is because I love her so much, I never stopped, even when things were shiny and confusing I never stopped caring, the confusion was bad of course, but I knew deep down she wasn't a mutt, just like I know I can control and beat this hijacking.

"Effie, I need to thank you for everything, for being there for me, giving me a place to stay. You were more of a mother to me than my actual one." I comment.

Effie's voice cracks on the other end as she replies, its a happy whimper, one filled with love "_My dear boy I care so much for you and Katniss, and believe it or not that drunken old fool. We are in this together, we're family. That means your like the son I never had and I thoroughly enjoyed your company while you were here and I'm going to help you with the little one on the way. You just leave all that to me, by the time I'm done you'll have enough clothes, toys and baby furniture to last a lifetime."_

I am completely flattered that she is going to take the time and effort to go baby shopping for my child, but apart of me doesn't want her to buy baby clothes until we know for sure if its a girl or a boy. Diapers, baby formula, high-chair, all that she can buy if she wanted to. The hard thing about all of this was trying to find out a way to keep this a secret, I doubt they will ask questions about Effie buying baby clothes since she was an ex-escort and all. Effie would figure something out if questions were asked, she was honestly smarter than she looked.

"_So where do you guys plan on having the baby?"_ Effie asks curiously.

"We were thinking District 4 since her mother works down there, but I'm kind of hesitant about that, her mother is being awfully persistent about some things, but I guess four would be good since the temperatures down there never get below 60, not to mention Annie is down there so it would give us someone normal to talk to and I'm sure there is a lot of things for us to do down there."

"_Well see what you can do about her banishment getting either revoked or transferred and then let me know what your having so I can buy clothes, in the meantime I'll buy the other stuff, toys, diapers, all that fun stuff. This is so marvelous"_ I hear her clap her hands together on the other end of the line in excitement, the thought of Effie Trinket spending every dime she has on this baby both excites but worries me. I'm thankful we have help and people that are willing to buy us things for the baby, but I don't want her going overboard, considering both Katniss and I are fine finically.

"Just don't go crazy" I warn her softly.

Effie chuckles "_Peeta Mellark my boy its about time I decide to spend my money on something useful besides useless junk." _She got me there I have absolutely no comeback and I'm way to tired to think of one so I let it go_, "Well I must be going got a big, big, big shopping spree ahead of me. Good luck with the call to the president and hopefully the banishment gets revoked, most importantly transferred_."

"Thank you so much Effie"

_"No problem boy, call me back if you need me. Bye. Bye_."

"Bye"

I set the phone back on its base and stretch my arms. She was truly going to spoil our kid rotten, not even born yet and he's already has everything he could ever possibly want, if I know Effie it was going to take her a full days shopping to get everything we needed except clothes. I owed her one since she was doing this for Katniss and I. I sit down at the kitchen table and cuff my hands together, tapping my foot against the hard floorboards, this next phone call was the most important one yet, I had to chose my words carefully and effectively, they must not know anything about the baby. I pick my body up from the chair and hike back over to the phone that sits still on the base. I'm just about to dial the number when the sound of footsteps approaching causes me to freeze. Lynn rounds the corner; her hair is wet which means she has just gotten out of the shower. She dresses in a pair of baggy old sweatpants and a blouse, a mismatch choice but who cares she's older and fashion doesn't really appeal to her anymore.

"Good morning." I greet kindly.

She peers at the phone that rests in my left hand and raises an eyebrow "Who are you calling?"

"Oh I just got off the phone with Effie" I lie at the fact that I was just about to attempt to get through to the president "She is going to help us buy some baby clothes"

She looks at me unconvinced almost as if I'm lying to her, that look says it all She strongly dislikes me and for reasons that are exactly unknown to me. It could be an number of reasons, but honestly, I don't care how she feels about me, I only care about the wonderful person that is her daughter. Lynn may hate me because of the hijacking or she may hate me because I got Katniss pregnant at a very young age, whatever the reason I'm not able to stop that suspicious glare that plasters her face as she moves into the living room without saying a word to me and slips on her shoes.

"Want some breakfast before you go?" I offer and she shakes her head, pulling on a large winter coat.

"I'm going into town, my shipment order has to be here by now. Katniss is still asleep so don't wake her up. I want her to rest" She gives me a warning look and by the time I open my mouth to reply to her she is out the door. I was going to warn her it wasn't good to go outside in wet hair, but I guess she'll figure that one out on her own. I'm done trying to get people to like me you, and I'm done putting up with her nasty glares every time we are around each other. She has no right to dislike me no right at all. I didn't ask to get hijacked and beaten, the sex Katniss and I had was an accident and it just happened, there was no stopping it. I glace back at the phone that sits on the base and bite my lip, this needed to be done I needed to pick it up and call into the Capitol, but what was I going to say to them. How was I going to convince them to move Katniss. I could say she was extremely sick and needed medical attention and she wanted her mother to look after her. I had to think of someway for her, Haymitch, Lynn and I to travel in secret. Maybe Paylor wouldn't say anything to the rest of Panem, maybe if I told her the truth she would bend some rules. I highly doubt it though, telling the president herself that the star-crossed lovers were expecting a child was a big mistake.

Paylor was a good person and all, but she was the president and it was her job to restore peace through the world and what better way to do it then to show the people of Panem that if the star-crossed lovers were able to move on, settle down and conceive then that must mean The Districts of Panem were livable, stable, and above all safe. I could see Paylor doing something like that, so the answer was definitely no. I tap my foot against the floorboards and am just about to move towards the phone again, a rapid knock on the front door causes me to freeze and roll my eyes in irritation, I've had enough interruptions for one day. I grumble under my breath as I move across the floorboards and into the living room, flinging open the front door and allowing the early winter breeze to spill into the house.

The man standing in front of me wore the biggest smile I have ever seen in my whole life. He wore a thick pair of glasses, a fancy trench coat, black pair of pants and snow boots. I eyed the vanilla folder that he held under his armpit, and a pen and clipboard that were in his hands. Who the hell was this guy and why was he knocking on Katniss's door in the late morning? I had a bad vibe going about this guy, but I just smiled back at the guy and waited for him to speak.

"Oh my god I cant believe you really answered. I do have the right address?" He asks with a grin.

"Who are you?" I question him seriously.

"Oh my where are my manners. I'm Herson Henderson, and I'm doing a story on the rebuilding of Panem. I got a call stating the star-crossed lovers would be happy to sit down and answer a few of my questions." Herson said.

I looked at him like he was a total nut-job and shook my head immediately "We didn't agree to anything, I don't know who called you, but they obviously didn't seek out our permission before they promised you an interview from us"

Herson frowns at my statement "But I traveled all this way for a story, to update the people of Panem on the rebuilding of the nation and on our Mockingjay and star-crossed lovers. I need to talk to you both."

"I'm sorry, but the answer is no" I say sternly.

"Come on man this isn't fair I want what I was promised!" Herson shouts angrily.

"And I want you to respect our privacy. We didn't know anything about this" I state calmly.

"This is ridiculous I was promised the star-crossed lovers and I'm not leaving until I get what I came here for" He threatens.

"Fine but your going to be here awhile, now if you please excuse me. I got breakfast to make. I'm deeply sorry"

"Oh fuck you man. You act like a interview is such a bad thing"

I don't respond to his anger I shut the door gently in his face, hearing his muffle yells behind the wood. I pace back and forth angrily with my hands behind my back. I'm beyond pissed off at the fact that someone called them and told them that we were willing to do an interview. No way in hell I was going to let that Herson guy anywhere near Katniss and I know there was no way he was leaving until he got what he came here for. I think long and hard, trying to figure out who the fuck would do such a thing, then it hits me. The only person rude enough to do it because he didn't get what we wanted from Katniss and now he is getting us back for not only kicking him out of the house for violent behavior, but because Katniss rejected him and chose me instead.

I clutch my fists in anger ready to pound the life out of Gale, ready to shove him face in the cold snow and watch him bleed. He's fucking with us and I don't appreciate it. I slip on my winter boots, mumbling in anger, throwing on a heavy jacket. I take one glance up the stairs and figure she is still asleep that I'll get back in time before she wakes up. Am I off to pick a fight with Gale? Not really, I just want to know for a fact if he is the one that called the Capitol reporter or if it was someone else, which I doubt it was someone else. There was nobody else; certainly not Haymitch or Lynn, it has to be Gale who called, getting back at us.

I place a hand on the doorknob, take one last glance up the stairs and am out the door into the chilly afternoon air. I walk around the Village, trying to figure out which house Haymitch saw him in, most of them are vacant, only a handful have District 12 survivors stashed in the lots. I pick the one next to Haymitch's house on the left, which is empty, then the right, empty. I walk a couple houses down, searching each one, all empty. That asshole probably made a break for it, call the Capitol on us and then take off. I check on last house and he is in there, passed out on the couch. My anger is back, my fists are clutch. I slam the door so loud it wakes him up out of his slumber.

"Get the fuck up Gale" I hiss.

"What's your problem Mellark" Gale groans as he rolls from the couch and yawns, stretching his arms over his head. His careless attitude makes me ten times more angry and the urge to punch him in the mouth becomes great.

"Did you call that god damn capitol reporter on us?" I growl.

"Ah he really came, oops, I didn't think he'd actually come" Gale replies with a small smirk.

"You fucking asshole, do you know what you've done? Any hopes of rebuilding your friendship with her are gone. She'll hate you for this. Do you fucking care about her at all?"

Gale glances down at his shoes, the careless attitude still spreads across his face "Yes I do, more than you can image. I was angry when I called him and I didn't actually think he'd show up"

"Well he did and he isn't leaving until he gets an interview, and if he finds out she is pregnant and tells the entire nation, that's on you."

Gale is silent, holding his head down like a pathetic dog.

I take a step forward towards Gale so I'm in his face. He's bigger than me, but I'm stronger than him "If you ever, ever come near her again I'll kill you and I mean it. I'll kill you"

"Fuck you Mellark, I messed up I was angry at the fact that she threw me away like I was nothing as soon as you came back. I could of made her happy, could of taken care of the baby. Your wrong for her Mellark and you know it."

"I'm not listening to this anymore." I growl and take a step towards the door. "Stay away from her"

"What truth hurts don't it. You fucking wrapped your hands around her neck. I watched you. How do you know you wont do the same thing to your baby?"

I've had enough of his mouth I pull back my fist and crack him in the jaw as hard as I can, then I tackle him and we both go through the coffee table, glass shatters into a million pieces and a couple shards poke my knees as I straddle him and pound him left and right. There is nobody to stop us this time and I'm pretty sure one of us is going to kill the other.

to be continued...


	12. With flight comes fight

Chapter 12

With fight comes Flight

(Peeta's POV)

I give Gale a right hook and then a left, blinding rage clouding my vision as I hit him over and over. I know I should feel bad for coming over here and starting a fight, but I honestly don't at all feel bad. I want him to hurt as much as he hurt Katniss, as much as he is going to hurt Katniss when she learns that he had the nerve to call a capitol reporter and tell them that we were willing to give him an interview and what bothers me most is the fact that he did it just to get back at us, it was like he is the victim in all this which was wrong in every way possible. He was a piece of garbage that needed to vanish from Katniss's life and I could do it, just the snap of his neck and he'd be gone, no more problems. **Do it he's useless. ** The voice in my head becomes loud and persistent, my head begins to swell and hurt, an urge to vomit becomes great. My knuckles are bloody and aching. Gale isn't a weakling he flips me from him and I crash against the floor, quickly scrambling to my feet. He does the same and soon we are face to face. **He sided with the mutt which means he killed your family and so did she. **I place my hand against my head the voice distracts me from my opponent and Gale lunges forward, his fists connecting with my ribs over and over. **Kill him and then kill her. **My anger and rage has thrown me into an episode and I'm beyond thankful that I'm around Gale and not Katniss. **No you want to be around her she's a mutt. **My thoughts are killing me, I can do nothing but let Gale pound the shit out of me. He hits me all over the place, my chest, ribs, and he even gives me a good swift kick in the nuts, which I drop to my knees in pain.

"You're a fucking freak Mellark." Gale says punching me in the side of the head, which causes my brain to rattle more. He hit me over and over like I did to him, only when I collapsed on the ground he didn't stop punching me. He was just as angry as I was if not more. The more he hit me the harder it was for me to get my brain under control, to rise to my feet and defend myself. My entire body ached from his punches, I felt dizzy and confused as his fist connected with my jaw one last hard time, sending me to the floor, even then he kicked and stomped at my back. I could deal with it though, it wasn't the first time someone decided to pound the living daylights out of me, only I couldn't fight back I had to sit and take it. I can fight back now though. I wasn't helpless, I wasn't helpless. I thrust my foot forward, boot connecting with his shin, momentarily stopping his assault. I ignored the pain in my body as I scrambled shakily to my feet.

"I don't want to fight you anymore" It was a mistake to come over here to begin with but I needed to know why he did what he did to her. He knew she didn't want any reporters or cameras sniffing around here while she was pregnant and having Herson Henderson here was going to make it ten times more difficult, if Paylor gives us the okay to transfer to District 4 whose to say Herson wont snap a picture of her pregnant belly on the way to the hovercraft. So many things could go wrong and it was all Gale's fault.

"You attacked me, you sought me out having every intentions of kicking my ass. Tell me Mellark does she know your over here?" Gale growled.

"She's sleeping and I'm only over because what you did is unforgivable. Why the fuck did you do it" I hiss.

"I told you I was angry and I didn't think he'd actually come. Okay so get off my back."

"You do realize this guy isn't going home without an interview from Katniss and your to blame. If you care about her at all you better fix this. I don't give a flying fuck if you hate me, if you want to kill me, but don't take your anger out on her. She was your best friend and was willing to give you a second chances at becoming friends, but that didn't seem good enough for you, you had to have more with her even though you knew how she felt about me, how she was carrying my baby, you put stress on her, tried your damn hardest to force her to fall in love with you. Let me tell you something you can't force a person to love you, it has to come naturally."

"What do you know about love, Mellark, you tried to kill her. The woman you claimed to have loved since forever. You don't deserve her, you don't deserve that baby. I'm her best friend or was until you took that anyway from me."

"NO!" I scream at him so loudly that it wound surprise me if the entire District could hear what was going on between the two of us, not like there was anybody around to listen to begin with "You did that yourself, you made her hate you. She told you time and time again that she wasn't in love with you but you didn't take the fucking hint. Just because she didn't want to be your love didn't mean she didn't want to be your friend, but I guess on your end it was either lovers or nothing right."

Gale is silent for a second, he places his palm against his swollen face and rubs it gently. His hands are no longer fists and he no longer stands in an attack stance. Maybe we can actually talk like two human beings instead of lashing out at each other. I don't want no more fists to fly between the two of us, my entire body aches one more punch is going to force me to the ground and I doubt I'll have the strength to stand.

"You think we can sit down and talk like normal people?" I ask more calmly.

"Depends are you going to attack me every time I say something you don't like?"

"No as long as you don't attack me."

"Fine sit down" He orders and points to the leather couch in the middle of the living room. The glass from the broken coffee table still litters the ground and I'm thankful I have my boots on or else shards will be sticking into the soles of my feet. I still don't trust a thing Gale says so I'm on my guard the whole time he paces back and forth with his hands behind his back and a scowl on his face, sweat run down his face as he continues pacing. He doesn't sit down either which means he is weary of me as well.

"I'm waiting, talk, tell me how much of an asshole I am for everything I have done to Katniss, tell me how perfect you are compared to me."

"I'm far from perfect believe me on that. This has got to stop, this hatred we have for each other, its making things much worse on her."

"I turned that job down for her, I came back here for her when you didn't. I took care of her, made sure she ate and bathed. She was mine first, you hear me mine. I know everything about her and you don't. You were just the boy on the sideline watching, too cowardly to do anything but stare. She doesn't love you, you know. Katniss is incapable of falling in love with someone it's just who she is." Gale growls and stops his pacing all together, turning on his heels to look at me. I'm engrossed in his words, part of what he is saying is true, but the part where she doesn't love me is false. She's told me several times how she felt about me.

Gale takes advantage of my silence "You know I'm curious to know how you managed to get her to have sex with you because god knows she has to be in love for her to be able to do it."

"She is in love with me and you know it." I say.

"You might be right, but she loves me to, she is just blinded by anger right now to realize it." Gale takes a deep breath, his voice becomes a bit smoother and he ruffles his hair "I never ever wanted to hurt anyone or kill the innocent. She blames me for Prim and I hate that because I didn't know where the bomb was going or that it would kill innocent people, children. She shouldn't blame me for things that I have no control over, yeah I built the weapon along with Beetee, that makes him a murderer as much as it makes me one."

We all suffered differently during the war. Katniss has ways of dealing with grief, blaming you is her way of dealing with it." I explain.

Gale rolls his eyes at me and shakes his head "Don't act like you know Katniss inside out, there is a lot of things you don't know about her. You just ruin everything don't you? Your like a fly that keeps buzzing around, making things complicated and irritating me. I mean it Peeta I'm going to fight for her until my last breath and there is nothing you can do to stop me either. Katniss is everything to me and I wont sit back and back you destroy her."

I feel anger bubbling up inside me now at his words. He is starting to piss me off again and the urge to sink my fist in his face becomes great again "Your wasting your time she loves me, needs me, and wants me, not to mention she's pregnant with my baby. What you need to do is get rid of that damn Capitol reporter that you felt the need to call because that's just one more fucked up thing you did to drive Katniss away."

Gale sighs deeply and clutches his fist into a tight ball. He needs to know how serious calling the reporter on us actually is and that I wont stand by waiting for him to destroy our relationship. He wants to make amend for everything that he has done he should start by getting rid of that Herson guy before I kick that capitol reporters teeth in. Herson gets within a mile of Katniss and that will be it. I'll flip out on him.

"How many times are you going to bring that up?" Gale hisses.

"At least a dozen more until you fix your mistake. I have a choice to make either I tell Katniss that you called a reporter, getting her even more pissed off at you or you get rid of him asap and she never finds out he was here."

"You're a real asshole Peeta."

"No you're the one that fucks everything up" rarely do I use curse words, but Gale has me so angry that I can't help but have the words spill my from mouth. We stand there face to face, feet apart, both of us looking at each other with hatred. I can honestly say that he is not the person he used to be, he seems to be more violent, determined, angry. He's a threat and I truly don't want him near Katniss. Maybe once we call the Capitol and get the okay to transfer districts then we can sneak away from him, leave him here and hope he decides to take the job in 2 instead of wasting his time and coming between us. I'm doing having this conversation with Gale, I told him what's what and if that reporter isn't gone by either today or tomorrow then I'm going to tell Katniss what he did and she is going to hate him twice as much as she already does. I take a step towards the door, eyeing Gale hatefully as I go.

I don't say anything else to him, not a goodbye or anything. I'm out the door and into the cold afternoon making my way down the Victor's village path. Part of me should feel guilty for going over and fighting with him, but I honestly don't. He deserved what he got from me, maybe now he will open his eyes and realize that he can't do things like that or else he'll lose her forever, not that it's a big deal or anything. Katniss wants nothing to do with him and I don't want her near him to begin with. I get home and make my way up the slippery steps, snow has just begun to flutter, dusting the front porch with a small coat of white. I push open the door and stumble inside, its only then do I realize my knuckles ache badly.

Katniss is awake and sitting on the couch, her legs stretched out on the bed and her hand on her bump. I hear clattering in the kitchen which can only mean Lynn is back and is fixing some lunch. Katniss glances over the back of the couch and smiles when she sees me enter the room. I give her a warm smile back and kick off my shoes, moving into the living room. I gently lift her swollen legs for a second and slip onto the far cushion of the couch and then bring her legs back into my lap again. I begin rubbing the soles of her feet first then the sides, causing her to groan in complete comfort.

"Where did you head off to this morning. I really don't like to wake up alone" She says in a hushed tone of voice.

I cant tell her about the reporter that came knocking on our door earlier today because that will upset her and I told Gale he had 24 hours to get rid of that idiot before I tell Katniss and ruin every shot he had at rebuilding their relationship.

"I was thinking." Katniss begins, rubbing her prodding belly.

I grin "Uh oh, about what?"

"It hasn't been very long since the end of the war and I know we have a lot of healing to do and this baby to get ready for. My nightmares are still bad sometimes. I want to make a book."

I give her a questioning look "What kind of book?"

"Like a memory book, something that we will have for years and years. I don't ever want to forget our friends that we lost during the rebellion, maybe the book can be dedicated to those who lost their lives during our two games and the war. What do you think?"

"Are you really up for that though? Talking about it an all?" I ask in concern.

"It's been 6 months going on 7 and I've thought a lot about what's going on. I want to talk about it and heal and raise our baby. I don't want to be like this. Cooped up in a house crying because of everything I went through, crying because the people I have once cared about decides to put me under stress. I'll have the baby in District 4 or wherever they decide to put me, if they decide I can switch, but I still don't want cameras around. I want to be able to move on the best we can, be the best parents we can be." She smiles and moves her hand across her belly. Her words make my stomach drop and I'm really glad she is willing to move on, face the past inside of hiding in these walls. I glance over the back of the couch, making sure her mother is still hard at work on lunch. There is no sign of Lynn anywhere so I shift us on the couch gently so I'm able to give her a small sensual kiss on the lips. It only lasts a couple of seconds before she pulls back and sets her head against mine.

"I love you and this baby" She says and kisses me again "Don't you ever leave me or her"

"Still thinks it's a girl huh?" I chuckle and kiss her one last time before returning to my original position.

"It might be who knows, all I know is we got names to pick out and clothes to buy."

"That reminds me I called Effie earlier and told her the good news. She says she was going on a major shopping spree. I told her not to go crazy but something tells me she isn't going to listen to me."

"You know I was thinking of some names that we could use, I came up with three girls names and three boys names."

"Well If it's a girl I want the middle name to be Marie, its different, unusual and it's a name they used a lot back in the old days. So the names for the girl is Saffara, Asya, or Willow. If its a boy I want his middle name to be Peeta."

My heart flutters at this and a smile creeps across my face.

"So I like Nebis, Rye and Dyan. What do you think."

I tap my finger against my lip "I like Willow and Rye, those are my favorite ones you've come up with."

"So its settled then. Willow Marie Mellark, Rye Peeta Mellark."

to be continued...


	13. Shower Scene

Chapter 13

Shower scene.

(Katniss's POV)

I could still taste the blood in my mouth long after he kissed me, but I pay little to no attention to it. I don't acknowledge that he is decked out in bruises from head to toe, or that his knuckles are swollen, cut and bleeding. I don't want to know what he has been up to this morning, but it's probably not hard to guess who he got into a fight with. If Peeta wants me to know what is going on then he will tell me, but in the meantime I just want to relax and focus on this new book that the two of us agreed to start. He hikes up the stairs for a shower leaving me alone on the couch, rubbing the baby tenderly. She's so active today, has barely stopped moving since I woke up this morning. The kicks and nudges are sometimes very painful but mother says its normal because the baby is running out of room, today officially marks my seven month. I'm seven months pregnant and as big as a house. It was hard for me to roll out of bed this morning, its hard for me to do anything really, but sit here on the couch day in and day out, watching the world pass me by. Part of me feels like I should get up, wander through town a bit since its been so long since I had the fresh outdoor air on my face, but I don't do it for fear I'd trip and fall over my feet. The baby is more important than my need to venture out into the snowy landscape. It'shard to believe the baby will be here in about 2 months. I don't know whether to be excited or terrified, maybe I'm a bit of both who knows. One thing is for certain I don't know the first thing about being a mother. What if I'm no good at it, if I am to screwed up to take care of my child it will give my mother an excuse to take her from me. No, I can't think like that, I'm all about moving on now, looking ahead, in front of me. I got Peeta back and I have Haymitch and now thanks to Peeta I have Effie.

My mother comes around the corner a couple of minutes later and sits on the empty cushion next to me, taking Peeta's place. I sit up, curling my legs underneath me and allowing her to take his spot. She lets out a large yawn and rubs her temples in frustration, I know a conversation is coming and its going to be one that I'm not going to like it, now-a-days she has all kinds of comments that gets my heart going, angers me from the inside out. My mother has become a walking, talking pain in my ass. She folds her hands together and leans forward slightly, tilting her head sideways to get a better look at me.

"You two been sleeping in the same bed?" Mother comments and I looked at her shocked, at how she has come across that information.

"Yeah, So" I shrug. I'm not going to deny the fact that Peeta has slept with me in order to chase the nightmares away, but she doesn't realize that, she doesn't realize that I haven't been waking up screaming until my lungs were raw and painful. No, she only see the fact that he is sleeping in my bed with me and in her eyes that is a bad thing. "What's so bad about him sleeping with me. Haven't you noticed that I haven't had any nightmares lately."

"Yes Katniss I have" She says in an irritated tone of voice "It's just that I don't want you two making a habit of it. That boy is still sick and its only a matter of time before he..." I cut her off, anger and rage filling my voice.

"He's fine. He can control his flashback." I haul myself up from the couch, not wanting to be anyway near her, her presence alone is making me tired and rundown "I'm tired of this whole thing you're pulling" I snap.

She stares up at me, but doesn't say anything, just allows me to pace back and forth with my hands behind my aching back.

"I'm so sick and tired of you being here and trying to take control of my life. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for this baby. You wouldn't want nothing to do with me."

"Katniss Everdeen how dare you speak to me like that. I am your mother and I cared enough to come back here to help you"

"NO all you care about is delivering this baby, and then making excuses as to why I'm not fit enough to take care of her. You failed Prim and I, this baby is your second chance. I'm broken and damaged anyway so there is a strong possibility I wont be able to take care of her, that's where you come in right? Tell me something mother will I even be in the baby's life in you somehow manage to take her off me? Will she know her mother, or more importantly will she know her father. We all know how much you dislike Peeta for reason that aren't his fault."

My mother looks at me in absolute shock. I have never once talked to her like this, but it was something that needed to be done, maybe now she will stop with her dreadful comments about taking the baby, about trying to set ground rules for me because I wont listen to anything she has to say and I wont obey any rules that she sets for me because on she isn't my legal guardian anymore Haymitch is, so what Haymitch says goes, and I'll be more than willing to listen to my mentor. My mothers face is a deep shade of red and I'm not sure if it's because she is angry or getting ready to cry at my harsh words, harsh or not they are true and I'm to mad to stop them from spewing from my lips, so I continue.

"You abandoned me twice mother, once when dad died and now since Prim died. Admit it your only here for my baby. You don't care what happens to me."

"How dare you accuse me of such things. Your my daughter and losing your sister and father was the hardest thing I had to go through in my entire life. I dealt with the grief as best as I could. How dare you think I don't care about you, I'm trying to do what's best for you and my grandchild, and what's best for her is to be with a stable home environment, with a stable mother and father. I'll be honest you guys are not stable at all and it's not your fault. You have no idea what raising a baby is going to be like on the two of you. You haven't healed yet, neither of you have."

"Bullshit since he's been back I've felt so much better. He holds me at night and chases away the nightmares so I don't wake up screaming my head off, but that doesn't matter does it, what matters is there is a man in your daughter's bed and its irresponsible right?"

"Katniss I'm not going to fight with you everyday like this so you can stop now. I'm here to help you transfer Districts and deliver the baby as comfortably as possible."

"Oh thanks what would I ever do without you. Don't forget the part where you take my daughter off me" I say sarcastically.

My mother shouts in frustration "It was an option Katniss. The baby would be better off in District 4 with me then here."

"Screw you she needs Peeta and I" I shout back and I can't take much more of our conversation so I head towards the stairs and ascend them step by step, ignoring the glares coming from my mother. I know my words were harsh but she needed to hear them, needed to know how I felt about her. I don't hate her I just hate what she is doing to me. The stress of having my baby taken from me is overwhelming and I wont stand for it. Who cares if I hurt her feelings or not, she's been hurting my feelings since the moment she decided to abandon me for the second time, the moment where I needed her the most. We were both grieving for Prim, we had lost a daughter and a sister, instead of being there for the only family she had left she left me, let the capitol dump me off in the ruins of 12, never so much as offering to come and take care of me, until now. The knowledge of the baby became known to her.

I hear the water running from the bathroom which means Peeta is still in there. I want nothing more than to take him in my arms under the shower head and kiss the life out of him, forget everything that has happened in the past couple of weeks, but the self-conscious feeling I get at the thought of taking my clothes off right in front of him and having him stare at the stretch marks, the stretched scars and the large prodding of my stomach stops me. I can't help it though I settle for entering the bathroom, feeling the steamy hot air against my skin. Peeta has his hands against the shower wall and hangs his head low. I can see the outline of his naked form through the shower curtain and I blush like a madman.

"Katniss?" He asks shocked and pulls back the shower curtain so he can poke his head out and glance at me. "What are you doing?"

"Well since all my mother tries to do is fight with me I decided to...well...I" I blush massively and try my best not to look at his slick chest.

He smiles at my innocent behavior "You want to join me?"

"Well yeah I do but I have to keep clothes on" I reply honestly.

Peeta chuckles "Why, your beautiful no matter what. Come on, you know I wont judge you."

I bite my lip as he pokes his head back inside the shower. He has seen me naked before but that was when I was small and my clothes fit properly. I undress achingly slow, starting with my pants. It takes three minutes for me to undress and I'm horrified as I pass the mirror and almost have half a mind to put my clothes back on. He pulls back the curtain and helps me inside the shower, being extra careful so I don't fall and hurt myself. I cant help but blush as he stares at my body.

"Stop staring" I frown.

"Why you're beautiful" He says seriously.

I say nothing and watch as he rubs the cream-white shampoo through his hair, an urge to wash his back overtakes me and I don't ask, just take the pink soap bar laying in the corner of the bathtub and bring it to his slick, wet shoulders. I'm shocked at how much muscle he still has considering the Capitol starved him, beat him and destroyed him, curiosity as to what he was up to in the Capitol overrides me. What was he doing when he wasn't with Dr. Aurelius.

"You okay?" Peeta asks as he enjoys the feeling of me rubbing his back with the bar of soap. I give both his shoulders a gentle squeeze and the spot two parallel whip lashes on each of his shoulders. I don't answer him, just trace the scares with the tips of my fingers, the scars climb down his back and meet in the middle. A sudden urge to vomit overtakes me, how can someone hurt him like that. There is another whip-lash going across his lower back.

"What did they do to you" I mutter unconsciously.

"Katniss" He turns around so I'm facing him and takes both my hands into his, leaning forward to claim my lips "It doesn't matter now okay. We're safe, this is history. They don't hurt anymore"

I frown "But you have to wear these for the rest of your life"

He takes me in his arms and the feel of his bare chest squished up against mine makes my heart melt. I'm in a stat of total bliss as he holds me under the shower-head, between the warmth from his body and the warm water spraying us I couldn't ask for a better place to be at this moment than in his arms.

"I don't care about what happened in the past. I only care about you and the baby" Peeta mutters and places a hot, wet kiss against my cheek I take his face between my hands and look into his beautiful blue eyes.

"I love you so much".

We kiss, shower and hop out of the tub to dress. I take a moment to look at every inch of Peeta. His knuckles are still cracked and swollen, fresh bruises are starting to blossom on his right cheek. Looking at him and imagining Gale's fists flying into his face for no reason angers me to the very core. The thought of him causally walking down the path leading into town and being bombarded by my ex-friend sends me into a blind rage. Peeta has been through a lot, we both have and the thought of someone hurting him is unbearable. I wont allow anyone to give him anymore scars. We're silent for a couple of minutes, both of us are looking into each others eyes from across the room. I take a step forward, reaching up to place my hand against his freshly bruised cheek, shaking my head in complete disgust.

"I hate the fact that Gale gets away with picking a fight with you" I mutter sadly, standing on my tiptoes to place a delicate kiss on his cheek.

He sighs heavily, rubs his temples in frustration and begins pacing back and forth with his hands tucked behind his back and a conflicted look on his face. I can see the wheels turning in his head and he is have a mental battle with himself, trying to decide if he should reveal what has happened earlier today between him and Gale or just keep it quiet and move on and act like nothing happened. Peeta stops his pacing and takes a deep breath.

"He didn't exactly pick a fight with me." He reveals.

I stare at him "What?"

"Look Katniss if I tell you what happened do you swear you will not be angry, upset. Don't withdraw from me"

"What's going on Peeta. Whatever it is, tell me. We keep no secrets from each other."

Peeta lets out a sigh and nods his head multiple times, he is praying whatever it is he has to tell me wont hurt me too bad, but what exactly is it. "I started it, went over to see him and ended up punching him, We got into a fight in one of the empty houses he was staying at." I guess Peeta wasn't so innocent after all. I'm not mad at the fact that he went looking for a fight. Gale does it all the time. I'm more curious as to why he did it is all. Before I can open my mouth to ask him why he would do such a thing he continues and answers for me "He did something really, really bad that he needed punished for, something that is truly unforgivable."

"What?" I ask getting a tad bit frustrated "What did he do that was so bad that you had to go and seek him out?"

Peeta begins pacing again and the pacing irritates me "He...He called a Capitol reporter on us. The guy came over this morning while you were still asleep asking for an interview with the star-crossed lovers because supposedly he has been promised one and we've agreed"

My body is completely numb and imagines of cameras flash through my mind. How could Gale do this to me. How could he call this guy just to get back at the fact that I don't love him like he loves me. The entire nation is going to find out about this baby and it was all going to be Gale's fault. I look over at Peeta, tears are swelling in my eyes and he takes me in his strong loving arms, stroking my head and whispering comforting words into my ear. I'm so disgusted with Gale that I can spit, this is truly an unforgivable thing Peeta's right on that. Haymitch suggestion in making up with Gale before he does something drastic is all but forgotten about, no way in hell I'm making up with him now.

"How could he" I wail "How could he do this to us."

"I know its bad and I wasn't going to tell you for this reason" He says wiping the tears away with his thumbs "I'll do everything I can to make sure this guy doesn't come near you. Understood."

I nod my head.

"In the meantime we have a District to transfer" Peeta smiles and rubs my arms soothingly.

He hugs me tightly against his body, allowing me to soak his t-shirt in tears. Anger, hurt, sadness, fear, and revenge are all coursing through my body, I want to stalk over there and strike Gale myself. He wouldn't hit a pregnant woman would he? Who knows anymore, I don't know him like I used to. He has changed the war and my love for Peeta has twisted him into this monster. One thing was for certain if Gale came within five feet of me I was going to kill him.

To be continued...


	14. Calls and Confirmation

Chapter 14

Calls and Confirmation

(Katniss's POV)

I pace back and forth nervously as Peeta holds the phone up to his ear a couple of days later, after I find out that Gale was an asshole and called a Capitol reporter on me just to get back at me. I've yet to confront him on the matter, fearing that if I walk outside I will be bombarded by Capitol Cameras flashing in my face, pictures would be taken of my swollen stomach and questions will be shouted in my direction, it's so bad that I avoid windows for fear of having someone look inside and study me. Peeta says I'm just being paranoid, that he's been keeping watch every once in a while and there has been nobody lingering in our yard, probably because it's freezing outside and fluffy snow has started to stick to the ground. Winter has begun and it's going to be a bad one, The Capitol News is calling for a Blizzard that will last a couple of days, it will definitely put the rebuilding on hold for a second. I don't know much about what is going on with the rebuilding, only that they have cleared out a lot of debris in the past seven months, the structure of the new justice building and town square are being turned into blueprints and laid out. Peeta says it's actually coming along nicely, he also tells me that once this transfer request is done, the baby is born and things start to get better in our District that he is going to claim the empty lot that his family's bakery used to sit on. He said it was a good way to financially stable ourselves which we really don't need money to begin with. Winning the games ensured us a financially stable home for the rest of our lives. We really have more money that we need.

Peeta taps his foot impatiently while holding the phone firmly against his ear. They either have him on hold or he hasn't gotten through yet, either way I'm frighten to the very core. What kind of questions were they going to ask us? Would they say hell no we aren't going to let the crazy girl who shot president Coin into another District. Our goal is District 4 with my mother. I roll my eyes as I think about her, She left earlier this morning to bring Haymitch something to eat, breakfast she has cooked lies on the counter in the kitchen, bacon, eggs, toast, sausage, where does she even get all this food from. District 12 certainly doesn't have a food market yet, maybe she is just ordering from the Capitol, I forgot that 12 gets shipment and donations from other Districts considering we are far worse off than anyone else. I pray that I don't have to spend the winter here, have this baby here in the cold. I love my home with a burning passion, but their right raising and having a baby here is not the best idea and it's taken me awhile to realize that.

The sound of footsteps entering my house puts me on alert. The door opens and closes and the sound of feet padding against the ground fills my ears, all to familiar voices talk in a hush tone of voice. Haymitch and mother enter the kitchen and take in the sight of Peeta, the phone pressed against his ear and an impatient look on his face, we've literally been trying to get through for an hour now. I guess President Paylor is on busy woman, of course she is, she has the entire nation to run, new laws to pass, people to take care of, she doesn't have time for a pregnant crazy Mockingjay.

"Still haven't gotten through I see" Mother says in an irritated voice.

"I'm trying, I've been on hold for an hour now" Peeta replies impatiently

"We don't have all day" My mother mutters.

I really wish she'd get off his back and stop hovering over him like he is incapable of calling the Capitol and making a request on my behalf. My mother casts her blue eyes in my direction, our gazes meet for a split second and then I'm the one that looks away, breaking eye contact and frowning. We haven't spoken to each other since I said all those mean, but yet true things to her, and its good because I'm pretty sure she has stayed over at Haymitch's house to avoid me. Which is not a bad thing, at least I don't have her slinking around the house picking pointless fights with me, telling me how unstable Peeta and I are to become parents.

Haymitch suddenly burps loudly and breaks the intense silence that has settled between the four of us. "Oh yeah Sweetheart, I forgot to tell you that there is a Capitol package sitting on your front porch this morning. I was going to carry it in but my back is aching and my head hurts this morning from lack of booze, damn Capitol shipment hasn't arrived this week and it's irritating how late they are. People like myself need their booze."

"Or people like you need to stop drinking" Mother comments "You know alcoholic beverages are the number one leading cause of liver disease "

"Did you know I don't give a shit, it makes it easier to deal with old hags such as yourself" Haymitch back talks her and I can't help but let a small smile appear across my face. Least he defends himself against her when she is brutally attack him with her words. I on the other hand am way to emotional to defend myself. One little thing and I cry my eyes out for hours. It's hard to believe that Peeta is able to deal with my mood swings and for that I'm thankful to have him here with me. He has taken good care of me these last few weeks since he walked back into my life. I think he's making up the last six months he's been away. He cooks for me all the time, rubs my aching feet and back, We even decided to request a large amount of paper from District 7 in order to start on our memory book that we agreed we should work on. The Capitol Shipment Haymitch was complaining about should have our paper and we could start on the book today hopefully.

"Okay I think it's going to be awhile, so Haymitch you want to hold the phone while I bring that package inside?" Peeta asks.

Haymitch doesn't reply, just takes the phone from Peeta, pressing it against his ear and flipping back his bangs that have fallen in his face, all the while giving nasty looks towards my mother. Peeta passes me and heads towards the door, I follow him, ignoring the blue pair of eyes that belong to my mother, that are boring into the back of my skull. Peeta fumbles with the doorknob for a second then pulls it open, letting the cold chilly air enter the house. I'm hesitant in getting to close to the front porch. The Capitol guy could be anywhere, watching and waiting for me to appear. I know I probably should venture out into the District soon, just to get fresh air. Fresh air would do me some good. It's hard to believe its been months since the last time I decided to get any fresh air. I inhale the heavenly scent of the cold chilly air and sigh. I do miss my woods and if I could I'd venture out there for a walk.

"Wow, That's an incredibly large package" Peeta comments from the porch. I watch him crouch down, his pants are baggy and reveals part of his boxers as he bends over to pick up the box from the porch. I can't help but take a moment to check his ass out. He has an incredibly nice ass on him and I bite my lip, resisting the urge to grab hold of it. The box is so large and heavy, it strains Peeta, his face reddens as he carries it inside and sets it down firmly on the rug. I look at it in curiosity, taking the plain note attached to the top.

_I guess I got a little carried away, but oh well. I hope you enjoy and please tell me what you are having I cant wait to buy clothes - Effie_

Peeta pulls a knife from his back pocket, I gaze at him in bewilderment, I'd never guess he'd carry something like that on him. He cuts the top of the box open and pulls away the tape. We both dig into the box and my heart catches in my chest, there are so many baby bottles, cups, diapers, formula that will last us a very long while, a couple of toys, two pairs on shoes one for a boy and one for a girl, a baby monitor, which I never heard of one of those before, we have so many bibs all different colors.

"She is too much" Peeta smiles happily "I can't believe she got all this for us."

"That's Effie for you, she is amazing" I say as I pick up a pair of mittens and two pairs of socks, one pair is pink and the other is blue.

"Our baby is so spoiled and She isn't even born yet" Peeta grins.

"She's be here so soon though and You know she is going to have the best daddy ever."

"She's have a fantastic mother too" Peeta says with a bright smile.

Peeta leans in to kiss me, we are inches apart when Haymitch's voice booms through the house "They've answered" He has shouted from the kitchen and we waste no time in hiking back into the kitchen to join my mother and Haymitch. Peeta hikes and I waddle more than anything, Haymitch has the phone against his ear and is talking in a professional tone of voice, one that makes my mother roll her eyes. I know what's shes thinking and that is 'this drunk has custody of my daughter, I'll do anything to get it back.' Haymitch has pressed the speaker button so everyone in the room can hear what is going on.

"_Para Paylor's personal assistant, My name is Avarice, please reveal you identification number_"

Haymitch sighs heavily, obviously he hates dealing with these bubble-headed Capitol idiots "Abernathy, Haymitch, ID number 1967834."

We hear her typing quickly on the other end, punching the numbers in what I am guessing to be a computer. That's all we hear for a couple of minutes is her fingers tapping against the keyboard. Then she speaks in an almost hyper-active, happy tone of voice, it's kind of sickening if you ask me, how happy and cheerful this woman sounds, she almost sounds fake.

"_And what can I do for you this fine evening, Mr. Abernathy_." Avarice asks with a smile.

"I'm calling on behalf of Miss. Katniss Everdeen" Haymitch says.

He doesn't get another word in, Avarice speaks before he can "_Identification number please_."

Haymitch looks over to me "8097492" I say to him, its funny how I was able to remember something like that. Our ID numbers were something that the old Capitol gave us as soon as we were born, it was a way for them to keep track of us, most people felt as though we were a tax number for them, that this ID number was completely pointless which in a way they were right, but it was something the new capitol kept.

"8097492" Haymitch repeats in the phone.

I grab Peeta's hand as soon as we once again hear her fingers rapidly tap the keyboard. My body fills with nervousness and I begin to tremble, Do I really want to do this, alert the capitol, have all this attention drawn to me? I would rather stay in the dark shadows, have the Capitol forget all about me, but no this is something that needs to be done for the baby's sake. If I want her to be born safely into this world I must go through the Capitol first. This isn't about just me anymore, it's about the baby, everything I do I do for the baby.

"_Alright Mr. Abernathy, Miss. Everdeen is in your legal custody correct_?"God this woman is too bubbly.

"Correct" Haymitch confirms.

"_What would you like to discuss regarding Miss. Everdeen?_" Avarice asked.

Haymitch takes a deep breath, a lot is riding on him right now, if he doesn't chose his words very carefully then I might be stuck here giving birth in a graveyard. A sudden urge to be on the sandy beaches in District 4 passes through me, and I've come to realize just how badly I want that. Peeta suddenly takes me in his arms and holds me in a comforting way, regardless of my mother narrowing her eyes at us.

"I request a conversation with President Paylor herself regarding Miss. Everdeen's banishment being either revoked or transferred, due to health issues"

Avarice taps her keyboard again _"President Paylor schedule is booked for the next 6 weeks, I'll type you in at the bottom of the list and hopefully you will be able to speak with her in the next couple of weeks. If it is a serious issue then I can transfer you to the department of justice and see if they are able to get your banishment revoked or transferred."_

"Can you please do that then" Haymitch asks almost sounding polite, but the look on his face indicates frustration. Haymitch is never the patient or polite type. The lady says 'please hold' in a chipper tone of voice and annoying Capitol music blasts from the phone, causing Haymitch to pull it away from his ear and tap his foot impatiently against the ground. It's not long before another voice greets us and asks for our ID numbers. Haymitch gives it to them and impatiently waits for him to start speaking, I know if we do this any longer Haymitch is going to explode in a fit.

"_Department of Justice, Vagor speaking how may I help you." _

_"_Yes this is Haymitch Abernathy I was calling on request to get Katniss Everdeen's banishment to District 12 either revoked or transferred. She is under my guardianship and it is necessary for her to seek medical attention immediately. District 12 does not provide the necessary equipment to help Miss. Everdeen's condition." Haymitch explains.

There is a silence and the man on the other end taps his fingers against a keyboard like the woman did, it doesn't take long for him to respond to Haymitch "_Miss. Everdeen's banishment to 12 most definitely cannot be revoked due to the concerns of her sanity, She was placed under Abernathy, Haymitch care, patient shot and killed President Alma Coin, found guilty due to insanity and depression. I cannot grant permission for banishment to be revoked_."

I give Peeta a concern look, but he waves it off and holds me tighter in his arms. Haymitch can convince them I know he can. He has my best interest at heart. All he needs to do is tell them I'm sick and need medical attention, which is true, although I don't think having a baby counts as being sick. They must not know anything about my pregnancy.

"Can't you grant her permission to enter another District. She will be under my watchful eyes along with her mother Lynn Everdeen."

"_Sir, I will not be able to give you a straight answer right away. I must contact the head official of the department of justice to get his full opinion on the matter, only then will I be able to grant you permission in leaving your District. If you cannot wait, then you may try to contact President Paylor herself_" He suggests.

"Well how long until you can reach your official?" Haymitch questions, rolling his eyes and gripping the phone so tightly that his knuckles are turning white.

"_Those are answers I cannot give you. We are very busy ensuring the safety of this nation. We don't have time for minor situations such as this. Now I am needed elsewhere, you have a wonderful day, Mr. Abernathy_" With that the idiot hangs up the phone leaving Haymitch flustered and frustrated. He slams the phone back on the base and heads towards the fridge in search of booze that we don't have. Mom looks worried and Peeta looks just as irritated as Haymitch does. I don't know what we are going to do now that we know my banishment cannot be revoked. They don't trust me at all, I get that I understand that I shot their president and they are weary of me because of it. They think I'm crazy and unstable that's why they sent me here.

"What are we going to do?" I ask snuggling into Peeta's warm chest.

"If worse comes to worse We'll have to have the baby here" Mom answers "Which home labor is very difficult and I hate the idea. The baby needs to best we have to offer, and you haven't even had a check-up yet, so many things can be wrong with her and we wouldn't know it. We need to get you out of here. Look, Katniss maybe you should tell the truth, if they know the truth then maybe they will allow you to transfer."

I shake my head multiple times "No We've been over this no cameras. Nobody is to know my baby exists. Besides what will they think if they discovered the crazy, insane, emotionally unstable girl is pregnant, the same thing you think and that is I will be an unfit mother."

Peeta gently butts into the conversation, rubbing both my arms in a comforting way "I think we all need to rest and take a break from this. We'll call back in a couple of days."

For some reason I snap and it's because I'm tired of everything "I don't want to rest Peeta, I'm tired of resting, I'm tired of carrying this baby, tired of the district laying in ruins, tired of everything. I just want to have this baby and stop having to worry about everything!"

"We will I promise. I'm here for you We're going to get through this." Peeta assures me. "Even if we have to do a home labor because they wont let us leave, We'll get through it, I'll never leave your side again."

I lean up to kiss him quickly on the mouth, despite my mothers blue eyes boring into the back of my head. When we part I lay my head against his solid and let him hold me, rock me back and forth. Something about his words frightened me, he'll never leave me again, if only that were the truth, nothing is ever guaranteed.

To be continued...9


	15. Alone in the Night

A/H :D I love you guys, 85 reviews I just wanted to thank everyone that has been reading this. You all motivate me with your lovely words and I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this and leave comments :) I love the reviews. How many of you saw Mockingjay? I did and it was in my opinion was incredibly I cant wait till part 2, I found it heartbreaking the way he wrapped his hands around her neck :(, Katniss and Peeta are my all time favorite couple. This chapter is kind of fluffy is you ask me, but dont worry we will see some action soon. Anyway I'll let you all read the next chapter please enjoy and if you wanna Review. Thank you.

Chapter 15

Alone in the night

(Peeta's POV)

The cold winds whips across my face as Haymitch and I hike through the frosty landscape that is Katniss's backyard, carrying three large logs. The wind howls as the snow covers the entire yard in a thin white coat. I shiver and focus on lunging these heavy, cold logs up the front porch and into her house. The snow storm was certainly going to be a bad one and I wanted to make sure we were prepared for the worst, and it was a good thing the Capitol shipment came in this afternoon, right after we tried calling Paylor for the third then fourth time, failing miserably. I had a bad feeling and usually those bad feelings are right, She might have the baby here, in District 12 instead of 4, its something I'm hoping doesn't happen because of the condition of the District, but if it does happen we have to make her as comfortable as possible. We already had newborn diapers Effie sent us, formula, baby blankets, cups, Effie even went as far as buying us a 400 dollar changing table, I was about ready to kill her for that one. All we needed now was the crib and I took it under my wing to start building one from scratch and hopefully surprise Katniss with it once it's finished. Haymitch has helped me plenty by providing instructions and details on how to build a crib. I never knew the power of technology could be so useful.

The Capitol and District 3 tech-heads have sent up an internet system that spreads through every corner of Panem, giving people information on just about everything and anything that needs to be done. Although Katniss has an computer in the upstairs study room she never uses it, she hates going in that room and it's because it's the room she and president Snow had a conversation in, it's almost like that room is tainted by the sheer memory of him and you can almost smell the bloody roses as soon as you enter the room. She wasn't ready to deal with that room yet, just like I wasn't ready to deal with the hurtful truth that I still had a lot of work to do. I needed to come to except the fact that I was still hijacked and dangerous, and by sleeping next to her and kissing her lips whenever she wanted me to was a risk that I really didn't want to take. I still wasn't right in the head, I'll never be right in the head, what they did to mean was something I would never wish on my worst enemy.

The blades that would cut deep into my skin as I refused to answer any of their questions was only the beginning, screams belonging to my friends filled my ears as the peacekeepers beat them, raped them and starved them. I shiver, not wanting to think about my time in the Capitol prison, thinking about it causes fear to spread through my body and Dr. Aurelius says fear, anger and love is the number on cause of my episodes. I've been doing okay so far since I came back the only real frightening thoughts I had were with Gale, but I fought it off and I'll continue to fight it off and make myself better for my family's sake.

"It's fucking freezing out here" Haymitch shivers as we hike up the porch stairs, pulling the door open and throwing the logs into the pile by the wall. Lynn and Katniss are sitting by the fireplace, watching the flames crack and eat the wood. They are finally being civil towards each other which is a step in the right direction. I take a moment to examine the content look on Katniss's face before heading back into the snowy landscape to fetch more logs.

The snow was coming down in sheets and it was becoming harder and harder for us to see where we were going. We pick up the last of the logs in the backyard and hike through the snow which is now up to our ankles. I've never been so freezing in my entire life, I just want to curl up in front of the fire next to Katniss and begin working on that memory book she talked about working on. The paper we ordered was here and ready for us to use it.

"Think that idiot wont freeze to death tonight?" Haymitch asks huffing and puffing, obviously not use to the exercise he was getting from carrying the heavy logs from the backyard to the front porch.

"Who?" I ask.

"Gale, He is crashing in an empty lot that probably doesn't have a lot of heat or blankets. I know the guy is a dick, but you really don't want him to freeze to death do you. This is going to be one hell of a snow storm." I consider it for a moment, wondering when Haymitch suddenly became caring and concerned for other people, but in a way he is right, it would be kind of inhumane to leave him out here with no heat or power in the vacant Victor's house. As much as I hate to invite him into the warm house its the right thing to do.

"Is your house stocked with wood and heated?" I question.

"Duh, I ain't no idiot, Besides you think I want to stay in a house with Sweetheart while her hormones are ragging Your nuts. I rather deal with her mother and the annoying boy" Haymitch says heaving the log up into his arms and taking off in the direction of the porch. We stock pile the logs until there is no room left in the pile next to the wall and by that time I'm so frozen that it takes minutes for me to get warmed up. Haymitch on the other hand sets out to find Gale and offer him a nice warm place to stay which is Haymitch's house, I refuse to let him stay here. Her mother takes off a couple of minutes later, leaving Katniss and I alone with each other, but as she goes she shoots me a warning glare that states if you hurt my daughter I'll kill you, I brush it off and hope they will all be warm enough tonight.

"It's really coming down out there huh?" Katniss asks as I take a seat next to her, willing my uneven breath back to normal.

"Sure is, We sleeping down here tonight to keep warm. I could go fetch some blankets and pillows from upstairs."

"Okay we can do that it gets awfully cold upstairs during the winter" She says.

I make several trips upstairs, grabbing as many blankets and pillows as I can find, throwing them into a large pile and allowing Katniss to make a nest for us by the fire. The snow comes down even harder as I make my way towards the wood pile, glancing out into the snowy night, hiking back into the living room I'm kind of shocked to see Katniss sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her body and a large stack on papers on the coffee table, paper that we ordered from District 7, There is pens and pencils scattered, and to my excitement colored-pencils which were very rare to obtain, last time I even touched a colored pencil was when I was under Dr. Aurelius's care. Katniss had her mind-set and was determined to write this memory book. She smiles warmly up at me as soon as I take a seat next to her and examine all the things she has ordered from the Capitol.

"I figured we can work on the book tonight, give us something to do before we go to sleep, that is if your up to it."

"Yeah, I can handle it" I assure her.

I know I still have my issues, where my brain can't tell if a memory is real or not real, but I'm in control now; it's not like how it used to be, in District 13 where all I wanted to do was die, where my mind was so fucked up and confused that I couldn't decide who the enemy was. I went through complete hell and it was a hell that I wish I could forget. I had to bury my torture along with all the horrible thing I have done to people. I was starting over fresh, moving onto a different chapter in my life, a new start: A baby on the way with the girl that I have been in love with for a very long time. I went through hell and back to be with this girl and now that I have her, there is no way in hell that I am going to let her go. I'm holding on tight.

"You know in a way I don't regret getting reaped." I say bluntly.

She gazes up at me, shocked, as if I'm being unbelievable, but it's the truth I don't regret my name being pulled from that glass bow, walking up onto the stage and peering into the eyes of the girl that I have tried to talk to for so long.

"Peeta, how could you say that?" She asks quietly.

"The games brought me to you. Everything that happened brought me to you. I'd do it over and over again if it meant I got to talk to you. To officially meet you, instead of hiding in the shadows and watching you from the distance. I'd lose my leg again for you, I'd go through all that torture and violence if it meant I could be with you." I shift so that I am facing her on the couch, cuffing both sides of her cheeks between my massive hands "Words cannot describe as to how I feel about you, I love you doesn't begin to cover it, it goes deeper than I love you."

"I love you so much" Her voice cracks and big fat tears roll down her face which I use my thumbs to wipe them away "You...you were so beaten, so scared when they brought you back to District 13, so confused and all I wanted to do was take you in my arms, hold you, make the pain that you felt go away, but then you turned out to be different and I felt like my whole world came crashing down on me. Everything that happened to you was because of me and I'll never forgive myself for that"

"Stop, don't blame yourself. What happened to me was nobodies fault except for Snow. I lived. We lived, we're home, we're together and we're in love for real." I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me with a burning passion. I can feel it as her lips find mine and she drives me into a deep kiss that has our lips locked for minutes before we pull away breathless. She suddenly gets up and moves towards the nest of blankets, wiggling her index finger back and forth, beckoning me to follow her. I do and we lay side by side in front of the fireplace. The start of the memory book is completely forgotten.

She leans forward and connects our lips against, running the tips of her fingers through my hair, pulling me as close as she can get me. I devour her lips as we kiss with equal passion, its not until she moves her hands from my hair to the hem of my shirt, intent of bringing it up over my head, Do I stop her and pull back from our kissing, sadly not ready to stop devouring her mouth. I hate rejecting her, but for now it's for the best, for her safety.

"Please" She begs and pecks me once, twice, three times before pushing my shirt up to my chest. She manages to rid me of my shirt as my thoughts distracted me and soon I realize that I am slightly hovering over her. She lays on her back, both her hands palming my exposed skin, tracing the scars on my back as delicately as she can, placing tender kisses against my skin.

"Please Peeta, Try. You wont hurt me"

"Katniss" I warn as she begins dropping tiny kisses against my neck, jaw line, chin, anywhere she can get. It's getting harder and harder to focus and to reject her. She reattached our lips, her fingers trace up and down my spine as she kisses me.I cant pull away I'm finding it harder and harder to resit her, my mind is flying from one thought to the other, Should I give into her and try to do this right here in front of the fireplace. It's certainly a bad idea because of the baby inside her, are we allowed to do stuff like this while she was pregnant. I don't know anything about parenting I'm more experienced in the killing and talking my way out of situations department. I pull away as gently as I can and shift so I am sitting up now, my face is in my hands. I can't make love to her, not now, not when she is so delicate.

"We should sleep or work on the book" I suggest and she lets out a frustrated sigh, her hands that were perched against my bare skin drops to her side in a defeated way. I get off of her completely, pulling my discard shirt back on my body, hiding my scarred skin from her sight. I sit back down next to her on the couch as soon as I get myself under control. There is a large pile of blankets sheets of paper in front of me, that I pull close. She wants to make a memory book, but I'm not so sure where we should start, the first games probably.

"You want to write and I'll drawl?" I question her, it's obvious that I'm going to be the one drawling the portrait of everyone that we're adding to this book, starting with people that we lost in our first games. The best thing for the two of us to do is start from District 1 and go up until we have reached our District, then move onto the second games, rebellion and so on. Katniss is silent, her lips are in a straight line, her brows are creased and I know she is completely frustrated, but I can't give into her I must have the will power to say no to her. She snatches a piece of paper from the large pile, picking up on of many pens that lay scattered on the coffee table. I watch helpless as she begins quietly scribbling words on the piece of paper. It's like that for several minutes before she hands me the paper so it. She has as expected started with District 1 Marvel and Glimmer. Her words describing Marvel are brief and I know it's hard for her to think about him without having to think of Rue.

"Katniss?"

She looks up at me but doesn't say anything.

"I hate the silence. I know your upset with me but its something we shouldn't do." I explain.

"Why can't we at least try and if it doesn't work out the fine we wont do it until the baby is born and I heal from the labor."

"Do you want me that bad?" I ask with a small smile.

She nods her head "Yes I do, more than you can ever imagine." She admits, "I want you, I missed you so much, Peeta."

She shifts off of the couch and moves to lay down on our nest of blankets in front of the fire, its silent; the only sound that can be heard was the wind whipping outside, causing the trees to sway back and forth in the wind, snow covering every inch of the yard. I pay no attention to the storm ragging outside and focus my gaze on Katniss. She looks beautiful sprawled out on top of the blankets, her baby bump prodding, her hair fanned out against the pillows.

"Can you just come over here and kiss me." She begs.

I lift myself off the couch and curl up next to her on the sea of blankets, as soon as my heads hits the pillow she's in my arms and we are under a large wool blanket, watching the flames crackle and come alive. I drop a couple kisses on her lips, hoping to satisfy the burning need she feels in the bottom of her stomach, no such luck there. She weaves her fingers through my hair, pulling me closely, as close as she can get me. I don't object, just continue kissing her like she wanted me to. Katniss's feels victorious so she goes to pop open a couple of buttons on the front of my shirt, that's when I pull away, even thought It's incredibly hard to do so.

"Stop trying to seduce me" I say gently.

She smiles lightly and gives me a couple more pecks before settling down onto the blankets in disappointment. We are silent the rest of the night I hold her and eventually she falls into a deep, warm, peaceful sleep. I stay awake, watching the flames engulf the wood, listening to the wind blow outside and soon it's not long before I too fall into a deep sleep, as soon as I do nightmares for some odd reason begin to consume me.

To be continued...


	16. Is it Real?

Chapter 16

Is it Real

(Peeta's POV)

Snow still falls from the sky the next morning, the fire has long since died, nothing but a pile of ash. I gently pull away from Katniss's grip as quietly and as smoothly as I can, being careful not to wake her from her deep peaceful slumber that she doesn't normally get. Last night was rough on my end considering the fact that I subconsciously fell into a nightmare, I don't know where it came from or why I even had it, but it was there, plaguing my mind in a vicious way and for a split second I wasn't sure what was real and what was not real, that was something that I didn't want to go back to. I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at now I wasn't going back into a world of confusion and nightmares, maybe a call to Dr. Aurelius would do me some good, it couldn't hurt to chat with him for a couple of minutes. Besides, if it weren't for him I would have never been able to control it well enough and come back here, being around Katniss was a risk, but I was willing to take it. I'm glad I've taken the chance with her, but it scared me so much to think that there was still a chance that I could hurt her and that was something I couldn't afford to do, not now while she was pregnant, if I hurt her I hurt the baby. My life is over if I do anything like that, so calling Dr. Aurelius seemed like the best option in this situation, besides they were only nightmares right? It's not like I was falling into an episode, I've controlled them so far and I'll continue to control them.

The room was chilly and cold, only because the fire has long since died sometime during the night. I stretch the soreness out of my limps and make my way over to the logs that lay in a pile by the door, hauling a couple of them into my arms and then hauling them into the fireplace to relight the spark and warm this place up again. Katniss groans in her sleep, turning over so she is facing me, her eyes don't open, her body is completely relaxed. I crouch down beside her and place my lips against hers for a gentle kiss. She moans in her sleep and gently moves her head from side to side a couple of times before opening her grey orbs and staring back at me. A faint, weak smile appears on her face and she lazily leans up to return the good morning kiss. It was only supposed to be brief but thanks to Katniss she decides to wrap her arms around my neck and pull me gently to her, until our bodies are touching and I have no choice but to fall on her or willingly lay on her. I lay on her as gently as I can, being careful not to crush her baby bump. I balance my weight on my arms and hover over her, excitement filling my body as she moves her hands from my hair to my back, sides, anywhere she can get.

I chuckle and pull away "Good morning."

She kisses my jaw-line "Hi, sleep good?"

I give her a small false nod, unwilling to tell her that I've had a nightmare last night, but she knows. There is no lying to her about things like that, she can see the truth in my eyes, see the confused, torture look I get when nightmares occur. She leans up and kisses me again, this time opening her palms and palming my clothed back. I can't keep anything from her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She questions.

I lift myself off of her and stand to my full height, stretching my arms over my head, a large crack echos through the room indicating I've cracked my back and it felt fabulous. I move to place my hands on the mantle by the fireplace and peer into the flames that engulf the wood, turning the once natural brown log into charred black ash. She struggles to lift herself from the nest of blankets, but manages to do it and make her way over to me, placing both her tiny warm hands against my back, giving it a gentle squeeze. I've given up hiding anything from her, how she knows me so well is a complete mystery to me, but she can see me for who I am and she accepts it and that makes my heart leap knowing that there is someone who cares for me in that way. That someone loves me unconditionally to the point they will risk their lives just to be near me knowing that at any minute I could change and they'd be in danger. She doesn't care though, not as much as she should care. Her safety and life means everything to me.

"Talk to me, Peeta. Please." She begs and hugs me from behind, wrapping her arms around my body and placing her hands against my chest. My hands cover hers and I let out a deep sigh, there is no hiding things from her.

"I was back in my cell at the Capitol..."I hesitate to go on, not wanting to relive the moments where I was beaten to a bloody pulp, hearing my friends being raped from the other cells, watching Johanna being dunked into a tank of water until she was on the brink of drowning. If you weren't being tortured in that room then you were watching your friends be tortured. I had to sit there and watch those peacekeepers violate Johanna, Annie and Enobaria. Although I didn't care much for Enobaria I still pitied her greatly because of the fact that she went through complete hell like us and she didn't even know a thing about our plans to escape the arena, neither did I though, but still. She was pretty a Capitol princess if you ask me and they turned around and treated her like an animal. She begged them to let her go, screamed that she didn't know anything, revealed her undying love for the Capitol, but nothing worked They still beat and raped her, even going as far as ripping her filed teeth out of her mouth one by one.

"I just don't know where the nightmare came from last night. I was happy holding you and kissing you, watching you fall asleep, then once I fell asleep...boom back in the Capitol. Katniss I'm in control right? I can't lose it again I just can't, not with you here, not with the baby. I rather go back to Dr. Aurelius's office then hurt you."

Her expression turns into a frown and she bites her lip "You'd leave me alone? You'd stop healing me? This baby needs you, I need you"

"I know and I'm going to be here Katniss, it's just my nightmares are back and it's only a matter of time before my hijacking episodes take hold of me." I turn around to face her, taking her in my arms and hugging her to me, placing nervous kisses against her forehead and then her lips. When our lips part she takes me by the hand and leads me over to the couch, forcing me to sit down while she takes a seat next to me, leaning forward to grab a stack of blanket sheets of paper, laying it in front of me.

"I want you to drawl it out and at the bottom you're going to write real or not real next to it and I'm going to tell you if your right or wrong." She says.

"Okay, but first I think we should shower and get something to eat, call your mother and Haymitch and see if they are doing okay. The snow is coming down pretty good outside and I don't think it has any intentions of letting up anytime soon. There is a possibility we may be snowed in for a couple of days."

Katniss bites her lip nervously "Don't say we're going to be snowed in here. What are you going to do if I go into labor?"

I stare at her horrified at the thought "Katniss that's not funny, if I have to I'll have Haymitch and your mother dare the walk across the street which is probably a good idea considering we'd be a lot warmer if all of us are together."

Katniss frowns "But I want to be alone with you. I want to be with you"

"We were alone and together last night" I remind her with a smile.

She shakes her head "That's not what I meant Peeta. I want to be with you like that"

"Katniss Everdeen: Turned sex fiend" I joke.

"I'm serious Peeta. I want you." She says seriously.

I sigh and rise from the couch, completely ignoring the fact that she is once again trying to seduce me. In a way it's really funny that she wants to have sex that badly with me. I'll settle for blaming it on her pregnancy hormones. She gets up from the couch with me and I hold my arms out for her to come into, she doesn't hesitate and accepts the invitation, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me. We don't say anything as I lead her upstairs to shower, it's chilly up there, but it's bearable and we don't shiver. I run the water hot, but not hot enough to burn our skin. The water feels good against my skin and so does her hands as the run the bar of soap along my back, shoulders, sides and ass. She gives my ass a gentle squeeze and I carefully turn around in the shower to look at her, giving her a warning look. She smirks and her eyes wander to my low region. We kiss, shower and dress, neither on of us saying a word as we make our way downstairs to start on breakfast. I glance out the small window that is above her sink, the snow continues to fall and has no intentions of letting up. The yard is completely covered in a deep layer of snow. I'm wondering just how deep it actually is.

Katniss pulls out eggs, hash browns, bacon, pancake batter, sausage, and leftover bread that I made a couple of days ago. We work together in making a large breakfast and by the time we are done, we have so much food, enough for 5 people. She eats a large amount of eggs, bacon and a large pancake. I cringe as she cakes the pancake in a thin layer of ketchup. I"ll never understand the cravings a woman gets when she is pregnant, but she seems to enjoy it and thinks its good and that's all that matters. We eat until our bellies are about to burst. The breakfast is large, wonderful and wash the dishes, and put the leftovers in the fridge. Katniss goes into the living room, sitting down in front of the large stack of papers from 7, I'm just about to join her when there is a rapid knock on the door. I hurry over towards the front door and fling it open, about to scold the person running around outside in this type of weather. Haymitch stands there freezing his ass off, a gruff look on his frozen face, Katniss's mother stands behind him and behind her is the person I really didn't want to see or to deal with. Gale. I take in their freezing features and then move to the side, allowing them into the warm house.

"Fuck sake this storm is a bitch" Haymitch complains. "It's bad at there boy, We're lucky we didn't lose our way by venturing over here. You don't mind us being here do you? Madam Medusa over here doesn't want Katniss to be alone over here with you" Haymitch says rolling his eyes and stomping out his boots, snow falls from the sole and forms a puddle at the door.

"That's not it" Lynn denies "I'm concern for Katniss is all. It isn't unheard of to go into labor early. Besides idiot here has run out of logs for his fireplace and he barely has any food in his fridge for us. We don't know how long this blizzard is going to last."

"That's fine, you guys can stay as long as he..." I point in Gale's direction, causing him to shoot me a deadly look, "Doesn't start with me"

"I'll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine" Gale replies. They should have left his ass to freeze in the abandon house. I guess that is a harsh thing to say, but it's true I really don't care what happens to Gale at this moment and I don't need him trampling about in this house upsetting Katniss and provoking me, god knows I'd fall into an episode if he tries to fight with me or maybe not I've controlled it during our last two fights so maybe if it happens again I can control it. We all enter the living room, Katniss looks up and smiles at Haymitch, but as soon as she sees Gale and her mother, she frowns, rolls her eyes and rubs the baby.

"What are you two doing here?" She asks with a frown.

"Honey, I was worried about you is all. It's not unheard of for women to go into early labor, I'm not sure how long before this blizzard lets up, but I don't need you two snowed in over here and then you go into labor. Poor Peeta wouldn't know what to do" Lynn explains. She's right I wouldn't know what to do if Katniss went into labor, I couldn't deliver the baby.

"Well there is leftover food in the fridge if you guys are hungry" I offer and Haymitch is the first one to accept a free meal. I watch him rush into the kitchen and rummage through our fridge, Lynn shakes her head and stalks after him, mumbling something about 'poor manners' and for a split second I think of Effie. I miss her terribly and I wonder if she is doing okay, if the Capitol is getting as much snow as we are. Hopefully not because this storm truly is horrible. I turn my attention to Gale who has moved across the living room floor to sit next to Katniss on the couch. She seems irritated by his presence, he talks to her and she only nods at whatever questions he is asking her, her focus is on the paper in front of her. I take another log from the door and make my way into the living room to throw it into the fire, catching the last part of Gale's sentence to her.

"And I'm sorry for everything."

i take a seat next to her on the empty cushion so she is sandwiched between the two of us. Gale narrows his eyes at me, but pays no attention and continues to talk to her, it's almost as if I'm not here at the moment.

"What are you working on?" He asks peering at the page that Katniss is working on.

She doesn't want to talk to him so I answer forward, leaning forward slightly so that I can make eye contact with Gale "We started a memory book, Katniss writes the details about the person and I'll drawl and sketch them, it helps both of us heal."

"That's a real good idea, upset her by making her remember the past" Gale mumbles.

"Don't start because I will throw you out in that blizzard" Katniss threatens "You shouldn't even be over here, they should have left you in that empty house. I'm so pissed off at you for calling that capitol reporter. I never thought that you'd stoop so low and do something that horrible to know how important it was for me to keep this baby a secret, but yet you go and pull a stunt like that and for what? To get back at me for not loving you. I can't force myself and I can't help who I fell in love with."

"I know Katniss, alright." Gale says. "I was so mad at you. I came back to this place for you instead of taking that military job in 2, I wanted to take care of you because you were so important to me and I can't help who I fell in love with. I know I've acted like a total asshole I've changed, we all have changed, We all have been through unimaginable things so don't act like you two are the only ones that have been through horrors. I want to love you Katniss."

"I don't think we should discuss things like that right now" Katniss mumbles and continues to write a large paragraph explaining Glimmer, When she is done she hands the sheet over to me and I begin the outline of the girl from District 1, the determined eyes, her large lips in a tight line, her small nose. I had to admit even though Glimmer was truly a bubble-headed idiot She was a very pretty girl, her long blonde hair tied in two pigtail, her light gray eyes and thin frame. Gale doesn't say anything as he watches us work, he sits there with his back against the couch, eyes glued on Katniss and I can't help but feel jealously bubble up inside me, an urge to rip Katniss away from his poisonous gaze, but I don't say anything I just focus on capturing Glimmer's every detail, and by the time I'm done I've got the drawling just right and even Gale takes his eyes away from Katniss to admire the sketch that I have just finished.

"Impressive" Gale mutters the complement through gritted teeth.

"Thanks" Katniss's tenses at the intense silences that has settled between the three of us. she doesn't says anything, just moves on to the net tribute which will be Glove since we already did Marvel yesterday. This certainly was going to be a long and dreadful day with Gale and her mother in the house, but I know that we are strong enough to get through it, I just hope and pray that we all don't get snowed in together.

To be continued...


	17. Oh Dear

Sorry I've been kinda busy lately with extra hours at work, Thank you all for you patience. Hope you enjoy this chapter, there is more to come, bare with me.

Chapter 17

Oh Dear

(Katniss's POV)

The snow continued to come down in sheets, covering everything in a coat of white, nothing could be seen but an endless white blanket. My mother and Haymitch talked quietly to on another from the kitchen while Gale hovered over Peeta and I while we worked on the book, taking our time to make sure everything was perfect. Gale's presence alone was enough to make me cringe. I avoided eye contact, but a distance between him and I on the couch and even went as far as snuggling up to Peeta, letting my head drop against his shoulder. Gale hated the gesture and rolled his eyes, hopping up from the couch to move over to the window, peering out into the deadly storm as it whips and rages outside. Gale shook his head as he peered out the glass window and whistled softly to himself. The amount of snow that fell from the sky was massive and unbelievable. We were definitely going to get snowed in the house after the storm let up which it doesn't seem like it has any intention of letting up at the moment.

"There all done" Peeta says as he shows me the drawling he has done of Cato. I'm impressed because it looks exactly like him, down to the determined, hateful eyes that I have stared into more than once. Cato; I had no words to describe him but strong, fierce, determined, hateful, Peeta would know more about him then me considering he spent the most time with the careers that I did. He got to talk to them, listen to their conversations, he his life joining them for me. Everything he did in those first games was for me and that made me love him even more.

Peeta jumps from the couch shooting a glance in Gale's direction who still has his hands behind his back, gazing out into the blizzard. He frowns slightly, his blue eyes boring into the back of Gale's head. The hatred that seeps through his body is frightening. What is going through his head is the most terrifying thing of all. Not knowing what he is thinking, how he'll act towards a severe situation. I love Peeta, but sometime he frightens me to the point of wanting to slip away and hide in the closet.

"You hungry?" Peeta asks stretching his arms over his head.

I shake my head and lean back against the couch, sighing heavily as the baby starts her rounds of kickball with my bladder. The nudges and kicks aren't like the ones before, these are so much more painful, it actually hurts every time she moves. I let out a breathy sigh and grit my teeth through the pain. Peeta studies me as I do so and his face turns into a twisted concern. My groan must have alerted Gale as well because he turns from his place by the window and shoots me a look on concern. I pay no attention to the two men that are looking at me as if I'm about to pop. Fear suddenly consumes me, is that what's going on? Am I having the baby so soon or is it just fake contractions that my mother was telling me about.

"Katniss What?" Peeta asks in a state of panic "The baby? What's wrong?"

I don't answer him I'm in too much pain and all I can do is clutch my stomach and wait for the pain to go away. Peeta's shouts of worry must have alerted my mother and Haymitch because both of them bolt into the living room at top speed. My mother gently nudges Peeta away from me, crouching down to look at me more closely, she pries my hands clutching hands away from my belly.

"Oh my god sweetheart don't go into labor with me in the house" Haymitch comments.

"I don't think she is going into labor. I think it's fake contractions. Katniss, take a deep breath and focus."

I do as she says and the pain suddenly vanishes. I relax a bit and gaze up at all the people huddling around me, it makes me nervous having everyone around me and I just wish they will leave me alone. I don't want anyone but Peeta.

"False contractions" My mother states in a professional tone of voice as a couple of minutes tick by "If she was in labor she'd have another one by now."

"Mom, Please tell me that's not what real contractions feel like" I hope not because even though it lasted a couple of minutes, that hurt really badly and I don't think I'd be able to handle it, actually labor was going to be way worse than that and I know for a fact that I won't be able to get through it. Once my mother comes to the conclusion that I'm not in labor she hikes back into the kitchen to clean while Haymitch plops down in the recliner stating that he needs a drink to deal with all this craziness. Peeta moves toward me, taking a seat next to me and bringing me into his arms. The concern written on his face wont go away, he's worried and that's the last thing I want him to feel right now.

"You were scared" I mumble into his chest.

"Terrified" He admits.

"I'm okay, the baby is okay" I assure him.

The storm last a couple more hours before coming to a complete stop. There is not much to do but lay in bed or on the couch, listen to Haymitch and my mother picker or feel the judgmental eyes of Gale as he studies Peeta and I wrapped in a blanket by the fireplace, shaking his head as if he is disappointed at the fact that I chose someone way better than him. It as true though, Peeta was the better man between the two and if their positions were reversed, if I chose Gale instead of Peeta then Peeta would not think twice about interfering; as long as I was happy. The day is completely boring we eat, cuddle, work on the book, have small conversations with Haymitch. I still refuse to knowledge my mother in any way or Gale for that matter.

It's late in the afternoon when Haymitch decides to try to leave, He twists the doorknob and uses his body weight to try to pry open the door, but it wont budge. He bangs on it as hard as he could, but it still wont come open. Gale comes over to give him a hand, but between the two of them the door still wont open. Soon Gale, Haymitch and Peeta are all pushing as hard as they can, but no luck, we are all snowed inside the house which in a way I knew it would happen, the blizzard outside was a bad one.

"Well shit I guess where stuck here" Haymitch growls.

"Guess so" Peeta smiles "Stuck in a house with no booze"

Haymitch's eyes widen "Your serious?"

"Yup" Peeta nods.

"And why the hell don't you have any booze in this house."

"Okay one it makes her sick, two we have more important things to order from the capitol than alcohol and three we can't stand the fact that your basically killing yourself overhear"

Haymitch frowns at the accusation "Excuse me boy" He points a threatening finger at Peeta. "But I have been drinking far before you were even born and I'll be damned if I stopped now. It helps me just like kissing and...doing whatever it is you two do helps you."

Peeta sighs "I understand Haymitch, but it can kill you and that's the last thing we want. You've been there for us, we've been through a lot together and I'll be damned if I watch you waste away to nothing."

"Give me a break." Gale mumbles rolling his eyes.

I shoot him a dirty look and was about to open my mouth but another false contraction hits me like a ton of bricks and I squeeze my eyes and wait for the pain to go away, clutching the side of the couch, it hurts so badly; it's almost unbearable. I soon can't take the pain and cry out, once again alerting everyone in the room.

"Katniss?" My mother asks in a worried tone.

"It's not stopping" I cry and fresh tears start to stream down my face.

"Okay take a deep breath. I want you to do me a favor and relax, if it happens again I'll check your cervix"

"Mom I can't be in labor its way to early" I panic, what if there was something seriously wrong with me or the baby. I glance over at Peeta who was as white as a ghost. He looked like he was about to be sick, in an instant he was by my side, crouching to my level, taking my trembling hand into his. Haymitch and Gale stood there clueless and shocked, Haymitch shakes his head and stalks off into the kitchen, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like 'damn kid can't hold it in', I want to laugh but yet cry at the same time.

"What should we do if she is in labor?" Gale asks.

"Well then I'll need you to get towels from upstairs, we already have blankets and pillows, we can't cut the cord without a sterilized knife."

"Mom, its coming back." I yell and crush Peeta's hand between mine. He didn't complain about the pain, just remained in his crouching position. "Mom make it stop its to early he wont make it."

"Katniss you need to calm down. Your overacting."

I get angry at her words. "I am not there is something wrong with him. He's not supposed to be born for another 2 months I just hit my 7th month." The pain subsides for the time being and I lay there on the couch gazing up into Peeta's beautiful blue eyes. He is scared shitless I can see it as he gazes back at me.

"Okay she can't give birth here, so we are going to have to get out of this house and load her into an emergency hovercraft" My mother says.

I shake my head multiple times, I can't have everyone knowing my condition, I've worked so hard in keeping this pregnancy a secret and I'll be damned if my mother ruins it but revealing the facts. She can deliver the baby now if it is time, she's done it plenty of times before . I've witnessed many women giving birth at home, its simple isn't it. Then again it's dangerous, death is something that comes knocking at your door when you were a pregnant woman in District 12. I focus on Peeta who is whispering comforting words to be, but I pay no attention. The pain is back and stronger than ever and I have never felt anything like this in my entire life. I've been stabbed, shot, choked, beaten, my bones cracked, and I rather go through all of that then what I am going through at this moment.

It feels like my entire insides are being ripped out of me. The contraction ends and I lay there panting like a dog, hanging onto Peeta's hand for dear life. Gale has come back into the living room holding the phone from the kitchen, I didn't even realize he had left to begin with. He looks at me in sorrow, wanting to do everything in his power to take away my pain and honestly I wish someone would.

"I can't have this baby not yet." I mumble.

"Shhh. Take a deep breath and focus on me." Peeta says running a hand gently through my hair. He leans over and gives me a soft peck on the lips. The pain is gone for the moment, but I know it will be back, I have to accept the fact that I may or may not be in labor, and that in a few hours the baby that I have carried for 7 months will be here, in my arms and hopefully be staring up at me with his striking blue eyes.

"What are you doing with the phone?" I question.

"Your not having the baby here, Katniss." She turns her attention to Gale, then Peeta, then Haymitch "I need you three to find a way out of this house and start shoveling the snow away from the front door so we can help her to the train station.

"No, no, no, I want Peeta here" I whimper like a child and clutch his hand. Peeta has to stay here with me. I'll go crazy without him next to me, this is something I'm not able to handle alone. Peeta and my mother exchange glances and he nods slightly at her and then turns his attention back to me.

"It'll be only for a minute. I'll help Gale and Haymitch shovel and then be back before you know it" He smiles.

"Please stay with me" I beg.

"Always." He leans down and gives me a deep, lingering kiss before pulling away slightly and returning to his normal height. He gives me a soft smile before stalking over to Gale and Haymitch who are standing by the door in deep conversation. Tears begin to fall out of my eyes as yet another contraction rips through my body.

"Your about 20 minutes apart." My mother says taking Peeta's place beside me. "I need to see how dilated you are, it may feel uncomfortable at first, I need you to take your pants off and get as comfortable as possible." My mother orders.

I struggle in obeying her orders, but managed to slip my pants and panties on, not caring that there is literally two other men lingering in the house that can walk in any second and see my nude lower-half. My mother fixes that problem by throwing a blanket over my lower half.

"Okay, Katniss I'm going to see if you are beginning to dilate. This may be a little uncomfortable" She warns and then she pulls back the blanket revealing my most private area and sticks her hand and fingers into places that make me feel very comfortable. I pray to god that I am not in labor, but the contractions come on strong and I know this is not false one.

My mother pokes at my skin and then withdraws her hand from my area. He stands back up to her normal height and pulls the blanket back over my legs. She mumbles under her breath and begins pacing back and forth with her hands behind her back. Her mumbling I irritating me and I feel like there is something she is keeping from me. So many questions buzz through my head, Why am I going into labor this early? Is something wrong with my baby? Am I endangered? So many questions and she doesn't say a thing.

"Well?" I ask impatiently "What's wrong with my baby?"

"Katniss, You are in early labor. Your cervix is about 2cm dilated."

"Why am I going in early?" I shout.

"I don't know yet, but we got to get you out of here and on an emergency hovercraft to either 4 or the capitol. Once the boys get the door cleared I'll be calling four and have them send a hovercraft."

"I'm not allowed to leave" I cry and clutch the blanket as yet another contraction hit me.

"I know but we don't have a choice here. The baby is by far more important than your banishment."

Her words anger me, so she doesn't care if I get in trouble for leave my designated District, if I get in trouble for leaving it gives her every opportunity to take the baby for herself while I rot away in some jail cell, My mother is truly a piece of work. I want to shout at her, tell her how much I hate her, but I don't have the strength to. All I can do is sit and listen to her dial a number on the cordless phone and talk very softly into the mouthpiece. Tears rush out of my eyes as pain engulfs my entire body. I can't do this I can protect or care for this child. I'm to screwed up in the head to be able to care for her. I never wanted kids in my entire life, but here I am in labor, screaming my head off at the pain, wishing that it would go away, dying in the arena would have been easier than going through this hell.

My mother comes back into the room with a professional look on her face "They are on their way, hopefully Haymitch, Gale and Peeta can dig out the snow before they get here."

"Where am I going? Who did you call? District 4?"

My mother bites her lip and shakes her head "You need the best care possible, the baby is going to be premature."

"Who did you call" I screams as pain engulfs me. She is quiet for a couple of minutes, her eyes cast down looking at her shoes. She looks guilty, like she has done something horrible and maybe she has and I just don't know it yet. I had a bad feeling deep down and usually my bad feelings are correct.

"Who Did you call" I hiss with gritted teeth.

My mother takes a deep breath "The capitol hospital"

To be continued...


End file.
